


Little Stars

by OMGitsgreen



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Depression, Don't you wish your fanfic was hot like mine?, Drug Use, F/M, Fluff, Lovey-Dovey, Mental Health Issues, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Religious Discussion, Romance, Sexual Content, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-28
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-01-14 02:58:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 78,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1250227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OMGitsgreen/pseuds/OMGitsgreen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"However, having lived in a world so out of her control for most of her life, she just wanted to be able to be in command of herself." A young woman living and struggling with OCD, falls in love with a young man chasing his dreams. But life isn't as simple as just that. Modern AU Odesta</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Violent Delights

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I'm OMGitsgreen, though everyone can just call me Green. This my first post of AO3, (though I've posted plenty on fanfiction) and I hope you all enjoy.  
> This fic was inspired by my desire to tell the story of real mental illness, and the inspirational stories of those who dare to live their lives in spite of the expectations of society. This is for you.

5:21.

Annie's alarm went off at 5:21 on the dot. Not at 5:20. 5:20 added up to seven and Annie wasn't particularly fond of the number seven. Seven was an odd number, and odd numbers weren't even, nor could they be divided properly and orderly, and the fact that seven was a prime number made it worse. Eight on the other hand was a good number. She didn't mind the number eight, and she wasn't opposed to the number nine either, even if it was an odd number. If she had lingered in bed and the time was 5:22 when she finally got up Annie wouldn't have been upset. Nine could be divided by three, which wasn't as good as a clean even number, but it was still fine.

She had to make sure she gave herself enough time to get ready.

Annie got up laboriously and yawned, cringing at the feeling of the cold hard wood floor under her toes. Happy she had managed to get herself up on time, she moved onto the next thing in her agenda. She stripped her bed of the sheets, tapping her bedside table four times with her index and middle finger as each sheet and blanket and pillow case came off, before folding them and placing them in her hamper. She took off her pajamas, starting with her sweatpants, then her tee shirt, followed by her underwear, each folded separately and then placed in her laundry hamper. She picked up her laundry hamper, from its place at the end of the bed, turning it counter clockwise then turning it back and placing it back down.

Then it was time to decide on what to wear. She checked her calendar, reminding herself that today was Friday, so it was a pink day. She made this guideline in high school to make sure that she didn't wear the same color twice in a row, because not only was that sloppy but the not knowing made her anxious. She always liked to know, it helped her manage.

She opened her closet and went to the blue section. Annie made sure to keep her closet organized to quicken the process. She pulled out three pink sweaters because it was November and it was certainly acceptable to be wearing sweaters this time of year, and a pair of jeans. She only had two types of jeans, all of them were skinny, but they were dark wash or light wash. Colored pants were in a different section of her closet, and she only wore colored pants on white days or black days, and so she assigned colors to those days as well.

She tried on both light wash and dark wash jeans, and decided on dark wash skinny jeans. With the cream colored cami she always wore on pink days covering her bra, she tried on each sweater before deciding on her light pink cashmere v-neck sweater. She liked cashmere best of all because it didn't make her itchy, and being itchy made her skin crawl and feel dirty, which forced her to wash off. And after deciding on this sweater, she took the two other sweaters she had tried on, folded them up and then placed them into the laundry hamper in turn. Following this, she walked into the closet, walked out, turned the light on and off again just to make sure before closing the door.

5:50.

Annie was doing well today.

Next part of her routine was the most stressful. Her hair always refused to behave, which was always the cause for tension. She would cut it all off, if only to lessen the burden, but Annie thought she would look strange with short hair. So Annie made sure to comb it thoroughly, taking time to undo every knot, before spraying it in place to reduce flyaway hair. She wiped down the counter to remove of her hair, because in her opinion nothing was more disgusting then stray hair. Then she took her electric toothbrush, squeezing out a pea sized dollop of tooth paste neatly upon her brush before pulling out her phone and starting her timer. She had to brush for at least one minute and thirty seconds, before flossing each tooth twice and rinsing with Listerine for forty-five seconds. She couldn't risk getting gingivitis, or even a cavity. Then her parents would have to pay for a filling, which would then put more strain on them and Annie couldn't even imagine how guilty that would make her.

She released a breath of relief as she finished that up, wiping her toothbrush on her specific toothbrush towel, and wiping clean the toothpaste from the tip of the tube, making sure that no toothpaste would congeal there before screwing on the cape and placing it back in its spot.

Annie tried not to wear much make up on the whole. It was one less thing to worry about. It was easier just to do simple things, like put on moisturizer, dab on a bit of lip gloss, and line her eyes and accentuate with mascara. She placed the containers and tubes back into their drawer, before washing her hands thoroughly. She scrubbed with exfoliating cream, rinsed, squirted exactly two pumps of antibacterial soap into her palms, lathered for a count of ten before rubbing over all the surface of her hand, making sure to get under her nails, before rinsing off.

She would be lucky to get through the day without repeating that twenty times or so, she hoped for less considering the weather was getting colder. With colder weather meant dry skin, and she would rather not use up all of the nice lotion Johanna had gotten her for her birthday today.

6:24.

Still doing good.

She brought down the laundry hamper, separating out all of the laundry into darks, whites, and colors, before separating them further into delicate and not. Then she proceeded into the kitchen. To her annoyance one of the cabinet doors was open. She hated that, especially when the rest of them were closed. Her family on the whole tried to be considerate of that, except for her brother Kai, who she was sure was the one who left it open. Lately Kai had been increasingly frustrating to deal with, since he had just entered that middle school phase of not wanting to be considerate towards anyone. And also taking into account that they had been arguing these past few days, it really pointed to him.

She closed it, before taking out a bowl and a spoon from one of the other cabinets. Out of the fridge she took out her container of milk and from the pantry she pulled out the Special K cereal. She took a deep breath as she poured the cereal into her bowl, and then the milk, feeling her heart begin to pound in her chest. She had just begun to eat out of bowls and use utensils that weren't sanitized. Before she would only use disposables, but she had been really trying to get her eating habits to normal. Exposure had been working, and she was taking baby steps to her goal of being able to eat at a public setting without having to go through the embarrassment of using utensils she had brought along, or having to ask again and again for servers to take back "dirty" cups.

Her hand was shaking as she placed spoonful after spoonful into her mouth, chewing slowly before laboriously swallowing, and she knew it was coming on, the swarm of mind-wasps that simply wouldn't let her be. They rattled inside her head, buzzed in her ears, stinging her brain again and again with intrusive thoughts, not allowing for a moment's peace because she was breaking the routine breaking it breakingitbreakingitbreakingit and she was going to dirty everything, everything was going to be tainted and it was her fault all her fault. She needed to stop or else she would get sick because there were germs on everything and then she would burden her parents even more or infect them or-or-or-

She forced another past her lips. Maybe this cereal will make me sick, but maybe it won't, she told herself sternly, the odds are it won't. The body had strong protections against illness. I'm fine, I'm fine.

She continued eating until the bowl was empty. The cereal was as heavy as lead in her stomach, as she cleaned the bowl and the spoon, before putting away the milk and the cereal. She washed her hands once more. Feeling shaky, but elated by this tiny victory, she picked up her keys from their spot on the counter, buttoned up her jacket, laced up her boots, wiping them four times on the door mat, before opening the door and closing it behind her, making sure to lock it.

Annie got into her car, noting that her car was half full with gas, and making a note to fill it. She hated when the gas got below a half a tank, it didn't feel safe. Then she stuck her key into the ignition and put the car into drive.

She took a look at the radio clock.

7:03.

The beginning of a good day.

* * *

Annie was a math major.

Math was good. It followed rules, just like the universe. You always knew where you were with a calculator and a pencil. It wasn't anything like English or Art, with so many different interpretations and "no right answer". Annie didn't know how people could live like that. There could be one answer or many answers or no answers in math, but "no right answers" just left this giant void to be filled. But regardless, Annie was very diligent. Just because she didn't like something didn't mean she would slack off in it. And considering her absolute hatred of all those sorts of subjects, she did fairly well in them. She accepted the B+ with considerable grace for a perfectionist, understanding that it simply wasn't her strength, and no matter how much she would've liked it, she couldn't be good at everything.

It didn't make anything better, though when she walked from her multivariable calculus class to her Shakespearean Tragedies and Romances class. She resisted the urge to growl in distaste. She had wanted to take microeconomics the semester, however when the time came for signing up for classes both micro and macroeconomics had been filled up, as Business and Finance majors got first priorities, and the only class she could fit in that would fill some credit she needed was the Shakespearean theatre class.

Sure she needed to get her Fine Arts credits anyways, but she would've rather put off the pain until later. She wasn't good at interacting with others at all in real life, let alone acting. The class made Annie want to hide under a rock somewhere. The teacher, Ms. Trinket, who wanted all of the students to call her Effie was also a nightmare. Not only was she touchy-feely, and acted like more of a friend to the students then a teacher, but she wore the most ridiculous outfits, layered on makeup, and had a voice that made her want to bash her head into the wall. Annie was sure that the only reason she had the job was because her family was the one who donated the money for the Fine Arts center to be built.

And of course once Annie had made her aware of…it, Effie was too understanding. If Annie had a lower standard of morals she would have abused that and had used it to skip. But instead, she just sat there in chairs as Effie fluttered around her muttering how tragic it was.

"Hey there Crazy! What's up?" Johanna Mason called, clapping her arm around Annie's shoulders as she walked into the Trinket Theater. Annie gave Johanna a withering look, shrugging off her arm.

"Not much." She muttered and Johanna gave her a wolfish grin.

"Oh don't look so happy to see me." Johanna said sarcastically running a hand through her pixie, "I haven't even done anything offensive yet."

"Sure you haven't. Congrats on the softball game. I heard you guys won against Umass" Annie said sincerely and Johanna laughed.

"Aw, I knew you cared. Don't act like you didn't go. Just because I was in the middle of kicking Minuteman ass didn't mean I didn't see you hiding in the bleachers, trying oh so desperately to blend in." Johanna teased, and Annie felt her face flush.

"I don't have the slightest clue what you're talking about." Annie said, and Johanna gave her a real smile, something that was rare.

"Thanks for coming. It meant a lot." Johanna said, bumping her hip against Annie, nearly throwing her off balance. "That won't be half as bad as this. Like totally fuck my life. I was hoping that there would at least be one hottie in this class, like a basketball player who needed the credits. But nope, just dumb girls, gay guys, and…worse…theater majors."

"You did say Thresh would be in this class." Annie pointed out as they turned the corner.

"I thought he would be too, but he's in the Shakespearean comedies class. I could deal with comedies. They're full of dick jokes and shit, I know that much from high school. But romances? Blech. Gag me." Johanna said sounding disgusted.

"I can understand." Annie said, tapping the door before entering. Johanna noticed, but as usual never said anything.

That's what Annie liked about Johanna. She may be abrasive, crude, and offensive, but she honestly didn't care about Annie's difficulties. When they had first met in Accounting 101 freshman year, they bonded over mutual hatred of the annoying kids in their class, who could barely figure out a calculator and were obviously just in accounting to please their parents. Due to Annie's problems, and Johanna's personality they had both had a hard time making friends at all, and had simply gravitated towards each other. Annie was grateful. She had really thought that she would have to go through college without any friends, but Johanna had enabled Annie to meet and become friends with her roommates in the quad she lived in, Katniss, Madge, and Delly who didn't mind her oddities or her quietness. In fact, they made her feel…normal.

Her goal was to live off campus with them senior year. It was a big goal, of course. Her parents had told her so many times that they would be glad to let her continue living with them for however long she needed, but she didn't want to cope any more, she wanted control. And besides, it was like her therapist said, having a goal was good. It helped her to push her boundaries.

Annie sat down in the chair next to Johanna.

11:22.

Eight minutes before the start of class. Annie felt the rush of relief she always got when she got to a place early. She absolutely could not stand tardiness. She didn't even like to think about being late, because her parents were paying for her education, and a moment that she missed of class was like a dollar thrown down the drain and she couldn't handle that and it would burden her parents and-

"Hey, you're following the rabbit." Johanna told her, the code phrase bringing her back to herself. Annie gave her a tired smile.

"Sorry." She apologized, but Johanna snorted.

"How many times do I have to tell you to not apologize?" Johanna said with a roll of her eyes as more students came into class. It was like an endless march, until the last tired straggler stumbled in.

11:31.

It was 11:31 when Effie finally arrived, and Annie could understand why she was late. Effie was wearing the highest heels Annie had ever seen, gaudy sparkling gold stilettos with huge pink bows, accompanied by the rest of her outfit of a hot pink pencil skirt, cream colored blouse, and hot pink wig.

"Good morning everyone! Today is the big, big day! Today is the day we start talking about Romeo and Juliet, the…shall I say it? Crème de la crème of Shakespearean tragic romances. Who doesn't love a pair of star crossed lovers?" Effie cooed, sounding absolutely ecstatic.

Everyone else…not so much.

"Oh, but before I do! I'd like to introduce a new friend who will be joining us! Finn, come on in!" Effie said, motioning her arm.

There was a collective gasp in the room.

"Finn" was tall and broad shouldered, skin perfectly tan. He had the perfect jaw, a mischievous dimpled smile, eyes the color of the sea, hair like honey with notes of gold, amber, and red, a straight nose, and a devious expression on his face, because he knew what he was doing to all the girl and the majority of the boys in this class.

Annie would've been included as well, if everything else hadn't been wrong.

His button up shirt was half unbuttoned, when it should've been one or the other, his jeans were stained with what looked like paint, his sneakers were dirty, his gorgeous curls were an absolute mess. The backpack slung over his shoulder was half-unzipped and had papers unceremoniously shoved inside.

11:32.

He was just casually strolling at 11:32. 11:32 added up to seven which was a bad number.

Annie didn't like this boy one bit. Not a single bit.

"Finn O'Daire has been at a swim meet in South Africa over the past week and just got back. I hope that everyone welcomes him with open arms, and helps him to catch up." Effie said oh so very happily.

"And dropped panties." Johanna whispered to Annie, causing Annie to need to bite her lip to contain her laughter, before explaining, "That's Finn O'Daire, he's the star of the Panem U swim team. I think on the Mockingjay Weekly they said he made Olympic trials."

"That's…impressive." Annie said, vaguely impressed by that fact, not that it did much to change her opinion on him.

"Please, find a seat Finn and let's get started." Effie said, and began her lecture.

The lecture was short, and Annie blocked out the whispering of the other girls in her class as she diligently took notes. She had three different colors of highlighters which she used to delegate her notes based on content, pink being important background/history information, yellow being important diction/syntax notes, and blue for imagery. She avoided touching the margins because touching them was messy, and if it was messy then she'd have to rewrite it all later and she dated the top of the notes as Effie finished speaking. Effie then assigned the students in groups to read a certain passage and over the weekend collaborate to come up with a page report on the scene.

12:31.

It was 12:31 when she left class.

If only the good could stay, she thought sadly.

* * *

Annie was sitting in the library two weeks later, trying to get some of her homework done when she noticed Finn O'Daire wandering around trying to find a desk. Annie ducked her eyes back down to her notebook, but either Finn had noticed her or noticed the fact that there was a chair right across from her because he walked right up to her.

"You're in my Shakespearean theatre class right?" Finn O'Daire asked and Annie looked up, pretending it was the first time she had seen him.

"Yeah, I think so." Annie said, trying to be as nonchalant as possible. But really she was so very distracted because his plaid shirt was buttoned incorrectly and his hair was sopping wet and she wanted to reach out and strangle him for it. She kept picturing it and picturing it and picturing it until she was forced to tap the leg of the desk in order to calm down.

"I'm Finnick, nice to meet you." He said, sticking his hand out. Annie blinked, honestly confused.

"I thought your name was Finn." She said with a frown, and he took the seat across from her retracting his hand.

"It is Finn. Finn Nicholas O'Daire Jr. My dad's Finn Nicholas O'Daire Sr. But anyways, when I was a kid, back in my eight and under swim team days whenever my mom would get upset at me for screwing around she would always call me by my whole name, eventually Finn Nicholas just sort of ran together and everyone started calling me Finnick." Finnick explained.

"That's cute." She blurted out, before biting her lip. He burst out laughing and her eyes flit over to her watch.

4:05.

Not as good as an even number, but it was still fine. Maybe she had the chance to salvage the situation.

"Why thank you." Finnick said, "Since you think my name is cute I have the ability to pass judgment on yours."

"Annabel Evelyn Cresta. But everyone calls me Annie." Annie introduced and Finnick smiled widely.

"Annie. I like it."

"It's an old person name." Annie protested and Finnick's smile got even larger.

"It's a classic." Finnick argued and Annie sighed, not finding it within herself to argue any more. "Well, since we're now on a first name basis, do you think I could ask you for a favor?"

"Depends on the favor." Annie responded curtly.

"You wouldn't happen to have the notes from last Wednesday would you?" He asked sheepishly, "I missed class because of a swim meet, and we have a quiz on that stuff on Monday. If there's any way I can borrow them-"

Annie held out her notebook.

"I can photocopy it for you, if you want." Annie said and he just looked grateful.

"Do you think I could just copy them? I learn better when I write stuff down." Finnick asked and she sighed.

"Go ahead. Just don't…get anything on it?"

"Of course! I promise." Finnick said sincerely, "You're a life saver."

Annie rolled her eyes and continued with her math homework, she just finished reading half a word problem when Finnick gasped in awe, looking at her notes.

"Holy shit. These are like beautiful, and so neat! Your handwriting is like amazing, and you've even got it color coded…with book and internet references!" Finnick said sounding ecstatic. "You're like a God!"

"Thank you…?" Annie said, unable to help her flush.

"Do you think I could just copy your whole notebook and use it as my bible for this class?" Finnick asked and Annie couldn't help but snort again.

"The class is pretty easy, don't you think?" Annie asked, "I mean, I'm not good at that sort of stuff by any means but…"

"It would be easy if I could be there more often. I'm always away at meets and shit." Finnick said before smiling sheepishly, "It's pretty hard actually. I have to go to tutoring and stuff a lot, because swimming takes up a ton of my time and I'm not good at studying at all. And this class doesn't have any tutors or anything."

Annie had no idea what sort of madness took hold of her then, but clutching her pencil she suddenly said,

"Whenever you're going to meets…just let me know. I can print you out of my notes and help you out with assignments."

Finnick blinked, totally surprised before giving her the warmest, most gorgeous smile that sent butterflies erupting in her stomach and her heart racing. In that moment Finnick looked so perfect to her, that Annie really wondered what it must be like to be someone like him. To be someone so free must be a wonderful thing. However, having lived in a world so out of her control for most of her life, she just wanted to be able to be in command of herself.

Maybe one day she could dream.

"That would be amazing, thank you so much. You really are nice Annie."

"Don't thank me. It's not a big deal." Annie dismissed, trying to calm down.

4:11.

Much better.

They sat there in silence for the rest of the time Annie set out for herself to be in the library. She finished her math problems, turning it in on the website to her professor, did her computer science programs, and wrote a solid chunk of her paper for English that wasn't due until next week. It was exactly 6:45 when Annie began to meticulously pack up her things. Each pen she had used was firmly capped, and each mechanical pencil's lead was retracted before being counted. Onetwothreefour black pens and onetwothreefour pencils just like she had come to the library with. They went into her pencil box, before going into their specific place in her bag. Her onetwothreefour notebooks went were placed back in order Computer Science, English, Math, Theatre, then her lap top which was powered down, wiped quickly with a sanitary napkin, before being placed back into her laptop case which was also wiped down before being placed in her bag carefully. She zipped up her bag from right to left, never from left to right that just felt wrong. And finally she took out her hand sanitizer and squirted a bit onto her hand, rubbing it in despite the sting of her dry skin.

6:55.

"You going back to your dorm?" Finnick asked, and Annie jumped having been so absorbed in her ritual that she had forgotten his presence. To her relief he didn't make a comment.

"No, I live off campus." She said and Finnick smiled.

"Have a safe trip home." He said, "Thanks for all the help. I'll see you on Monday right?"

"Yeah." Annie said quietly before shyly waving, "See you…on Monday."

Annie had forgotten how nice talking to others could be.

She drove back home carefully, making sure to obey all of the speed limits. When she got home she parked her car in the same spot she always did, tapping the door as she left and the wheel with her foot before walking inside, tapping on the door, making sure she wiped her shoes thoroughly.

It was then she heard the talking.

"Mom, I want to bring Ashley here…it's just that I don't want her meeting Annie. I want her to think that my family's normal!" Kai said sounding exasperated. "Is there any ways I can bring her over when Annie's like…I dunno, at school or something?"

"Kai!" Their mother said sharply, "How dare you even suggest something like that!"

"Annie is your sister and our daughter, and excluding her like that is intolerable." Their father said sternly.

"Besides, Kai, if this girlfriend of yours actually likes you she'll stick around no matter how weird we all are." Their eldest sibling, Cora argued.

"That's so easy for you to say Cora! You were graduated by the time Annie got into high school. Everyone at school used to bully me because of her! Why don't you understand that I just want to be normal?!" Kai shouted, "If Ashley is coming over then Annie just needs to get over herself for one night! Why can't she just suck it up already? Why do I need to baby step around her?"

Before anyone else could say anything Annie opened and closed the door, slamming it so loud that everyone in the house went silent.

Annie didn't say anything, she just walked up the stairs, and closed her door and locked it.

She put the fresh linens on her bed, tucking them in on the right side and then the left side, right to left just like what was normal. Then she put on her blankets and covers. After that Annie pulled out all of the clothes she had washed from her hamper, refolding and putting some in the delegated spots, hanging others in her closet. Then she took off the clothes she was wearing, putting on her robe and grabbing her towel, she walked into the bathroom ignoring the yelling from downstairs and tapping the door as she entered. She made sure to turn the shower on then off then on to make sure the water was clean before allowing the water to warm up. Showering was always a process, she lathered right side of her head and rinsed, then the left side, before repeating both twice. Then she smoothed in her conditioner, after this she used her soap to lather from her feet to her neck before making sure to rinse off in the exact order she had done so. Finally she rinsed her hair out completely. After this she dried off in the same order she had rinsed off and soaped up, making sure to dry off thoroughly so she would slip and hurt herself and then have to go to the hospital because that would burden her parents, before putting on her robe. Then she took her electric toothbrush squeezing out a pea sized dollop of tooth paste neatly upon her brush before starting her timer and brushed for one minute and thirty seconds before flossing each tooth twice and rinsing with Listerine for forty-five seconds and had wiped her toothbrush on her specific toothbrush towel, and wiped clean the toothpaste from the tip of the tube, making sure that no toothpaste would congeal there before screwing on the cape and placing it back in its spot then she washed her hands thoroughly shescrubbedwithexfoliatingcreamrinsedsquirtedexactlyonetwopumpsofantibacterialsoapintoher palmslatheredforacountofonetwothreefourfivesixseveneightninetenbeforerubbingoverallthesurfaceofherhand makingsuretogetunderhernailsdigdigdigdigbeforerinsingoffandthenshewalkedbacktoherroomandfoldedherrobe andputitinthelaundryhamperandthenputonuunderwearandthenherpajamapantsandhershirtandlookedatherbedand

And

And

Her stomach dropped and she felt the mind wasps swarm her brain because something was missing something was missing. What hadn't she done? What hadn't she done?

She retraced her steps in her brain, clapping her hands over her ears to focus. Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnine eight is good, seven is bad because it is odd and prime, but nine is okay because it is divisible by three, she made the bed, with her sheets and covers, put away her clothes, put on her robe and grabbed her towel, she washed her hair right to left and her body from down to up because that was right and dried from down to up and had brushed her teeth and flossed and used Listerine and then she had washed her hands and then gotten dressed and then she was here and she was here and she was here.

Annie's eyes caught the side of the bed, where her pillow case lay on the floor. She hadn't put the pillow case back on her pillow. How could she have been so stupid? She broke the routine. She broke her routine. A sob broke from her throat as she fell to her knees clutching the pillow case. She didn't want to repeat all of that again because she was so tired and she just wanted to stop but she couldn't she couldn't or else everything she had tried so hard to keep would slip from her grasp and she was so sorry Kai, I'm so sorry I'm like this I would do anything anything anything to change because I know it's not normal I know I'm not normal and my thinking isn't normal and everything is wrong wrong wrong and out of control and I'm so sorry I'm so sorry. I'm coping not controlling I just want to be in control I don't want it to control me.

10:06.

She went to bed.


	2. Madness Most Discreet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "However, having lived in a world so out of her control for most of her life, she just wanted to be able to be in command of herself." A young woman living and struggling with OCD, falls in love with a young man chasing his dreams. But life isn't as simple as just that. Modern AU Odesta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, first off, thanks to everyone on the support of the first chapter! I hope you've all enjoyed! There are five chapters written so far for this story so I'll be updating daily until I get to where I'm working on. I'm a collegiate level swimmer, so FYI there is swimming jargon. Not anything that will go over your head, but just a head's up.

“So Annie, when were you going to tell us that you have a certified hottie crushing on you?” Delly asked excitedly, taking a sip of her Arnold Palmer while Annie just rolled her eyes and tapped out an onetwothreefour rhythm onto her notebook.  
“I don’t have any such thing.” She protested, while Johanna scoffed, Madge gave her an excited look, and Katniss gave a sigh. Annie was sitting in their quad with them, her calculus text book out as she continued to do math problems in spite of the looks digging into her back and the computer sitting on Madge’s bed that was playing reruns of Law and Order SVU.  
At first Annie hadn’t really noticed it.  
That made sense, of course. A lot of the time she was caught up in her own tumbling twisting racing thoughts, trying to ignore the stinging of mind wasps and desperately not following the rabbit into endless loops of invasive introspection and checklists. She resisted the irresistible urges to count the lines on a page or check her watch for the time, and kept herself from addressing the millions of other bothersome things that kept her from focusing. She handled it all surprisingly well, to be completely honest. Annie was doing well under her circumstances, despite how she felt sometimes. And so Annie a lot of the time didn’t really notice what was going on around her. She was absorbed in her own bigger and more important problems per se.  
But after a couple more weeks it became clearly apparent that Finnick O’Daire was seeking her out. For whatever reason, Annie didn’t really know. But she was absolutely certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was. No matter where she was on campus he would find her and begin a conversation with her, even about the most meaningless things. Finnick would sit with her at the library, make excuses to talk to her in class, or walk her to her car. Annie didn’t really mind. Annie liked Finnick’s company. But eventually it became so obvious that other people had started commenting on it as well.  
5:02.  
She really couldn’t catch a break today.  
“Girl, if he’s got a thing for you than just go for it!” Madge urged but Katniss on the other hand didn’t look so happy.  
“Guys, this is Finnick O’Daire we’re talking about. Isn’t he a player?” Katniss said worriedly.  
“Well he’s also the hottest guy at this school. He’s like beyond gorgeous, and have you seen his body, Everdeen? Gold star swimmer bod, you could bounce a coin on that ass. If I was you I would totally tap that, in a fucking heartbeat.” Johanna said in her usual manner, between mouthfuls of cheese puffs.  
“Listen guys, I don’t think Finnick likes me like that. As far as I know he just feels bad for me.” Annie said with a sigh.  
“Why would he feel bad for you?”  
“Well, he’s a certified hottie and I’m certifiably insane. It wouldn’t work, and besides, I don’t do relationships.” Annie reminded them, “We’re just friends…actually I don’t even know if we are friends. We’re just people who know each other, and I help him with school work. That’s all.”  
“That’s all you’ll ever be if you don’t man up. Annie, we all know how awesome you are. I mean, granted you’re wound up so tight that not even a Yankee Candle and a Channing Tatum movie couldn’t unwind you. But you’re cool to hang out with.” Johanna said, and Delly nodded furiously in agreement.  
“And you’re beautiful, and smart.” Delly said, “I would die for your hair. And your eyes are so green!”  
“You’re basically the whole package.” Madge said, nudging her side, and Annie just released a breath.  
“You guys are completely ignoring the elephant in the room. How could I be with another person if I don’t even have my own shit together?” Annie said, “He’ll just get totally freaked out.”  
“Annie, I think you’re being too hard on yourself.” Katniss said gently, “I mean sure it’s something to adjust to. But that doesn’t mean that you’re any less of a person.”  
“I still say go for it.” Johanna piped in, and then that was that. The conversation was over and shifted to the upcoming midterms.  
But Annie couldn’t stop thinking about. There was just no way that gorgeous Finnick with his perfect dimpled smile and bright sea eyes liked her. It was as certain as the fact that tonight was Tuesday so she was free so she would study until 6:55 and then onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnine eight is good, seven is bad because it is odd and prime, but nine is okay because it is divisible by three, she would make the bed, with her sheets and covers, put away her clothes, put on her robe and grab her towel, she wash her hair right to left and her body from down to up because that was right and dried from down to up and brush her teeth and floss and use Listerine and then she would wash her hands and get dressed in her pjs. Tomorrow was Wednesday so she would go to her therapist for her appointment at 4:45, but arrive at 4:40 because she absolutely could not stand tardiness, and 4:45 added up to 13 which was a bad number because it is odd and prime but 4:40 added up to eight which was a good number, and then she would stop by the grocery store and buy one box of Barilla’s Whole Wheat elbow pasta, two packages of Sargento cheddar cheese, one package of Sargento parmesan cheese, and a carton of milk, but not flour or butter or breadcrumbs because she had checked and they had them at home, and she would check again before she left for therapy, and she would make mac and cheese for dinner because Wednesday was her turn to cook and that Wednesday she assigned on her calendar that it was mac and cheese night. And Thursday was free so she would study in the library unless she was invited to Jo’s quad again until 6:55 and then onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnine eight is good, seven is bad because it is odd and prime, but nine is okay because it is divisible by three, she would make the bed, with her sheets and covers, put away her clothes, put on her robe and grab her towel, she wash her hair right to left and her body from down to up because that was right and dried from down to up and brush her teeth and floss and use Listerine and then she would wash her hands and get dressed in her pjs…  
Annie sighed and closed her eyes and after she reached her Monday schedule she took a deep breath and tried to calm her racing thoughts.  
5:31.  
Doing better.  
Annie couldn’t stop thinking about it as she drove back home (making sure to obey all of the speed limits and when she got home she parked her car in the same spot she always did, tapping the door as she left and the wheel with her foot before walking inside, tapping on the door, making sure she wiped her shoes thoroughly), the fact that there might be a chance that a boy liked her. It was nice that people thought that she had a chance, even though she really knew she didn’t. If she was a normal girl, then maybe it could have happened. But Annie knew better than that. Who would want a girlfriend that would break down if a fleck of yoke got into her egg whites, or would spend hours cleaning the floor because it didn’t feel as if she had really done it completely or not and no matter what she did it couldn’t appease her? Nobody, that’s who. Maybe there would be a chance if she ever got better…or at least closer to normal. Even if Annie didn’t really remember what it was like to be normal. But in any case, if she ever came into control of her mind, then there would be a chance for a relationship. But not now. Not yet.  
Dinner that night was tense, as they had been for the past couple of weeks, and she had to tap the leg of the table three separate times to calm down. Though Kai had apologized for his prior outburst, she could tell he didn’t mean it. She didn’t mind that he didn’t mean it. Annie had made his life so much harder. Middle-schoolers were beyond brutal. Her own middle school years had been the worst time of her life, not that high school had been much better. Sometimes when Annie caught Kai’s eyes her throat felt like it was closing up and she wanted to throw up because she had hurt Kai so bad and her fork and plate wasn’t sterilized and everything everything everything was dirty and disgusting and her fault her fault her fault and at the end of the night when she was doing her routine it took her two whole hours to complete it because nothing could calm her down. Nothing could calm her down at all because nothing was right and all she could do was lay in bed as the mind wasps kept stinging and digging their prickers into her brain-  
Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnine eight is good, seven is bad because it is odd and prime, but nine is okay because it is divisible by three…  
11:01.  
She lay in bed and wished she could fall asleep.

* * *

“Annie, could I talk to you for a moment?” Effie asked as she walked through the library. Annie looked up at her, rather surprised to see her and stood up.  
“Yes? Do you need anything?” Annie asked and she smiled her too white smile.  
“I was supposed to give Finnick the assignment and his papers back for next week, but I need to get to a meeting. Do you think you could get this to him? I think he told me he would be at the pool.” Effie said, handing Annie an envelope full of papers.  
“Yes, of course.” Annie answered automatically before Effie walked away, her heels clicking after her.  
So she packed up her things pack up her things each pen she had used was firmly capped, and each mechanical pencil’s lead was retracted before being counted. Onetwothreefour black pens and onetwothreefour. They went into her pencil box, before going into their specific place in her bag. Her onetwothreefour notebooks were placed back in order Computer Science, English, Math, Theatre, then her lap top which was powered down, wiped quickly with a sanitary napkin, before being placed back into her laptop case which was also wiped down before being placed in her bag carefully. She zipped up her bag from right to left, and she took out her hand sanitizer and squirted a bit onto her hand and rubbed it in. Then she zipped up her jacket and put on her back pack and left the library tapping each doorway she passed under.  
4:22.  
She hugged the envelope to her chest as she made her way to the athletic center. Annie never used the athletic center at school, though it was free for all students. Just the idea that so many people that were sweaty and dirty and touching the same things without washing their hands thoroughly or cleaning up after themselves made her feel ill to her stomach. She had her treadmill and elliptical, as well as a weight trainer at home that she used instead. She asked the students at the desk where the pool was as she swiped her student ID in, and walked down the hall to the pool facility.  
Annie hadn’t been in a swim pool since she had been forced to quit swimming when her problems worsened, and the overwhelming smell of chlorine and heavy humidity was very nostalgic. But the pool was a marvel completely new. A 50 meter pool, newly tiled, with cutting edge technology including new digital clocks, sleek diving blocks, and in the slick black and white and gold alternating patters with PANEM U MOCKINGJAYS spelled out in bold under the record board, which Annie noticed contained a lot of “Finn O’Daire”s. The swim team was obviously just finished was practice and were lazily swimming off a hard work out, joking and laughing with each other.  
She walked right up to the coach who gave a professional look.  
“What can I do for you Miss?” He asked holding his clipboard firmly.  
“Hi, I just needed to get something to Finnick from his professor.” She said, and just before the coach could answer Annie saw Finnick rushing forward and…it was quite the sight to see. In fact, Annie didn’t have any clue where she should be looking. He was nearly seven feet of golden, soaking wet, sculpted muscle and only wearing a speedo which did little to hide his…assets.  
Face. Face. Focus on the face, Annie. She told herself, hoping the burn of her flush wasn’t as noticeable as it felt.  
“Annie, what are you doing here?” Finnick said, sounding thoroughly delighted as Annie stuck out her envelope.  
“Here.” Annie said, “From Effie.”  
“Ah, oh shit. I don’t want to get that wet.” Finnick said awkwardly, “Could you wait for like ten minutes tops?”  
“Um, yeah, sure.” Annie said, agreeing before she even realized what she was doing, and Finnick gave her a brilliant grin before running off to the locker room.  
Annie stood outside of the pool room, feeling the daggers of judgment dig into her skin as members of the girls swimming team walked out of the door with their towels wrapped around them and left to go take an ice bath. She stood there, tapping the wall to regain composure, and held the envelope securely in her hand because what if she dropped it and lost it and Finnick didn’t have it and he really needed it?  
Finnick popped out from the door almost eight minutes later on the nose. His hair was still dripping onto his Panem U sweatshirt, but Annie noticed he didn’t reek of chlorine so she assumed he must have just jumped into the shower to rinse off before getting changed. He gave her a grateful look and Finnick took the envelope and shoved it into his half opened backpack before slinging it over his shoulder.  
4:47.  
“Hey so…are you doing anything at the moment?” Finnick asked and Annie blinked. She should answer that right then it was 4:47 and she should be studying in the library because she wasn’t with Jo in her quad and then going home by 6:55 and that day was Friday so it was a free day and onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnine eight is good, seven is bad because it is odd and prime, but nine is okay because it is divisible by three, she would make the bed, with her sheets and covers, put away her clothes, put on her robe and grab her towel, she wash her hair right to left and her body from down to up because that was right and dry from down to up and brush her teeth and floss and use Listerine and then she would wash her hands and get dressed in her pjs. However, her therapist had told her on Wednesday that she should try to take risks, so instead she answered,  
“No.”  
“There’s the pizza place on the corner, you know, Bianco’s? Could I possibly buy you dinner?” Finnick asked hopefully, and Annie cleared her throat and gave him a wobbly smile, reassuring herself that she had eaten at Bianco’s and she hadn’t gotten sick because of their food and they had disposable cutlery and the fact she was so messed up wouldn’t be quite so obvious and she would be fine.  
“That sounds great.” Annie said, trying to sound enthusiastic despite the fact she was breakingbreakingbreaking routine. Finnick obviously didn’t notice because he began to walk with her out the door of the athletic center.  
Bianco’s was a hole in the wall pizza joint that the kids at Panem U went to on nearly a daily basis. They put their stuff down, Annie tried to be discreet about her tapping, and they ordered their food. Annie got two slices of cheese pizza, she never ordered pizza with toppings because if the number of toppings was odd she just couldn’t eat it because it was odd and the numbers couldn’t be divided and it just upset her to think about it. Finnick on the other hand and ordered a whole pizza, topped with sardines, pineapples, caramelized onions, hamburger, and jalapeño peppers.  
“Is that any good?” Annie asked, raising an eyebrow.  
“I think so. My parents always tell me I eat like a pregnant woman, but I can’t help it. It’s a swimmer thing.” Finnick said, basically inhaling a whole piece.  
“What strokes do you swim?” Annie asked, as she neatly cut up her pizza, separating the pizza from the crust because she never ate the crust.  
“Practically everything but right now I’m focusing on backstroke and breaststroke. Like, um these ones-“ He said before beginning to go through the motions of each stroke, but Annie laughed.  
“I know. I used to be on a swim team until I was like, fourteen.” Annie explained, and Finnick looked honestly embarrassed.  
“Oh, I didn’t realize.” Finnick said, rubbing the back of his neck. “What strokes did you swim?”  
“I mostly swam distance freestyle.” Annie said and Finnick nodded.  
“You do strike me as a distance freestyler, if I was going to assign an event to you. Do you remember what your 500 time was?”  
“I know I broke six minutes. I think like a 5:49 or something.” Annie said vaguely, trying to remember.  
“Wow, that’s actually pretty fast for a thirteen/fourteen. Why’d you quit?” Finnick asked, curiously and Annie looked down at her pizza.  
“Health issues.” She said shortly.  
“I get it. A lot of kids burn out at that age.” Finnick said sympathetically.  
“What about you? You strike me more of a butterflyer or an IMer.” Annie said, desiring to turn the subject of conversation from her. Finnick gave a wide grin.  
“I am those things. I told you, I can swim anything. But I have basically no chance of beating Michael Phelps. I mean, I’m close, but I would rather focus on something that I could win gold in.” Finnick explained proudly.  
“Isn’t Michael Phelps retired?”  
“Pssssh. You really think he’s retiring? Yeah right. I bet my gorgeous ass that he’ll be signing on for Rio by the end of the year.” Finnick said with a sassy wave of his finger, and couldn’t help but giggle at his antics.  
“But that’s beyond impressive that you’re really that close.” Annie told him honestly.  
“Last Olympic trials I came in fourth and fifth in all of my events, and I was sixteen.” Finnick said proudly, “If I lived in another country…well, except maybe Australia, I would have gone to the Olympics. But I’m almost glad I didn’t. I’ve had a lot of time to improve since then.”  
“That’s amazing.” Annie said, in a bit of awe, “Can I ask a question, thought?”  
“Yeah, shoot.” Finnick said, devouring another piece.  
“Why didn’t you just get your GED and focus on swimming?” Annie asked and Finnick gave a heavy sigh and a smile.  
“You don’t mince words do you?” He asked and Annie flushed and looked down.  
“I’m sorry, that’s a personal question.” Annie backpedaled thinking about how stupid she was and that he was going to get up and leave because she asked such a personal question and he would leave and she saw it repeating and repeating in her head, until Finnick waved her off.  
“That’s what I wanted to do. But…my parents were really adamant about getting a degree.” Finnick explained, and Annie got the sense that there was more to it than just that, but just left it alone.  
“What are you majoring in?” Annie asked and Finnick gave a grandiose gesture with his hand.  
“Secondary education.” He said in a noble tone before adding, “I wouldn’t really mind being a teacher. What about you? You’re a math major right? And I already know you’re brilliant. Are you going to be a professor at MIT and figure a method to time travel or something?”  
“I’m not that smart, and no. I’m absolutely terrible at talking in front of people.” Annie explained, making a face, “I was thinking I was going to add an engineering major. I’ve already done most of the prerequisites. I interned over the summer at Hovercraft Inc. and was thinking I would really start focusing on aeronautical engineering.”  
Noting Finnick’s blank look she added,  
“Building planes and spacecraft things.”  
“Oh wow. Wait, holy shit you really do want to be a rocket scientist.” Finnick said nervously, “All that stuff is way over my head.”  
“Don’t act so intimidated. I’m the one sitting across from an Olympic caliber athlete.” Annie said with a roll of her eyes between bites of her pizza and he started on his third piece.  
“Well, you are kind of intimidating. Not in the bad way, obviously. I mean, you’re really nice, and funny, and helpful. And you’re so smart.” Finnick said with a nervous laugh, “And as you know I’m pretty much just a dumb jock. You’re going to go build planes and aircrafts and stuff and all I can do is just swim back and forth in a pool rather quickly.”  
“You are far from dumb.” Annie said, “You don’t give yourself enough credit really. A far as I can tell you do well in all your classes. You’re nice, popular beyond belief, have the whole school eating out of the palm of your hand, and to get where you are you have to be a hard worker. I don’t know why you’re so nervous.”  
“Annie, you’ve crept up on me.” Finnick said with a certain sparkle in his eyes. “Listen, I’m going to get my stuff boxed up. Can I walk you back to campus?”  
“Yes, sure.” Annie said reaching for her wallet because she knew that two slices of cheese pizza from Bianco’s was four dollars and sixty six cents and she was going to pay as she always did before Finnick shook his head.  
“I told you that I’d buy you dinner, remember?” Finnick reminded her, pulling out his own wallet.  
“I’m going to restroom for a second.” Annie said quickly, getting up and grabbing her backpack and shoving her money in her pocket. The bathroom was disgusting, disgusting, disgusting but she really couldn’t help it. Annie had to calm down, she had to clean her dirtydirty hands. So she squirted two pumps of the soap on her hands and lathered until ten making sure to get under her fingernails and then wash off at least three times.  
5:04.  
When Annie finally emerged from the restroom, hands raw from scrubbing and clutching her backpack, Finnick and her began the short walk back to campus. At first Finnick didn’t say anything, which Annie was fine with because she enjoyed the silence, until they turned the corner at the gate.  
“Next weekend I don’t have swim practice on Sunday. If you’re free…do you want to go do something?” He asked her and Annie paused for a second before continuing to walk forward, trying to understand the words that had just come out of his mouth.  
“Are you asking me out on a date?” Annie blurted out and to her horror Finnick burst out laughing.  
“Yeah, kind of.” Finnick agreed.  
“I…uh…where are we going?” Annie asked her brain going into hyper drive.  
“How about it’s a surprise?”  
“I-I don’t do surprises.” Annie said tapping the wall of the gate. “I really _really_ hate surprises. It’s not that I like surprises and I’m saying I hate them to be cute, I actually hate surprises-no, I absolutely loathe surprises.”  
Annie hated surprises because if it was a surprise she would go through ever single possible scenario in her brain and she couldn’t prepare for anything. She always had to know what she was doing and when she was doing it and for how long she was doing it otherwise she would go into a panic. Even just this on a free day was stretching her boundaries uncomfortably but she was doing this because her therapist had told her that she should try to take risks, not that Finnick wasn’t a nice guy and she didn’t enjoy his company, but everything was moving so quickly and she felt out of control because she should be at home and onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnine eight is good, seven is bad because it is odd and prime, but nine is okay because it is divisible by three.  
“Well you can’t bad mouth my date with you if you haven’t even accepted the offer.” Finnick said, placing his hands on his hips. Annie opened her mouth to respond and then closed it.  
“I’m not that fun.” Annie said softly before looking down at her hands that were clutched at her backpack straps. She couldn’t help but think how dirty they were despite the fact she washed them and washed them and washed them. And she knew it was wrong to think of her hands that way. There were trillions upon trillions of germs upon everyone’s hands. So why then, was it only hers she was disgusted with?  
“Annie, I can honestly tell you that right now, just talking with you like this is about ten million times more fun than any other date I’ve ever been on.” Finnick reassured her, “Would you give me a chance?”  
“If you tell me what the date is going to consist of, then I might say yes.”  
“Might or definitely?” Finnick asked, his mouth curling into a smile.  
“…might.”  
“I was thinking I would pick you up, and take you to a movie. And then we could go out to dinner. I know a really great Japanese restaurant called Sakura.” Finnick said with a smile that quickly dimmed as he saw the expression on her face because she would have to know exactly what time he would pick her up and exactly what time the movie was and know what the movie was so she could look up what it was about and what theater they would go to so she would know exactly how to get there and bring her own things to the movie because the people who ran the movie had touched everything and Annie had never eaten at Sakura’s or ever had Japanese food and she didn’t want to go through the embarrassment of having them sanitize her utensils or plates or cups on a date, but if she didn’t what if she got sick and threw up and her parents had to bring her to the hospital?  
“Are you okay?” Finnick asked twice before he drew her from her panic.  
“Finnick…you’re a really nice guys but I…I don’t think we’d be good together. I’m way more trouble than it’s worth.” Annie said nervously with a self-depreciating laugh.  
“What? You’re smart and pretty and I don’t mind that you’re kinda OCD.” Finnick said jokingly.  
Annie stared at him.  
“OCD…?” She croaked and he gave a laugh.  
5:11.  
“Yeah, you know. Like that stuff you do when you pack up from the library. I mean, it’s pretty weird. But hey, maybe I could loosen you up, or you could organize my dorm room for me or something.” Finnick said easily, walking forward only to realize a few moments later that Annie wasn’t walking with him anymore because she felt as if her world was shrinking down right before her very eyes and she couldn’t breathe and she kept seeing her hands and they were so red and raw and stinging and oozing blood because they were so dry and cracked and hideous and dirty dirty dirty because there was something so wrong with her.  
No.  
She thought she was hiding it. She thought she was doing a good job and trying to be normal. _All she wanted was to be normal!_ She had a goal and she wanted to reach it. Annie wanted to move in with her friends, have a fun college experience, get a good job, live on her own, and not have to burden everyone around her any longer but she couldn’t. Why couldn’t she just get herself together? Why? Why? Why?  
Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnine eight is good, seven is bad because it is odd and prime, but nine is okay because it is divisible by three.  
Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnine eight is good, seven is bad because it is odd and prime, but nine is okay because it is divisible by three.  
Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnineeightisgoodsevenisbadbecauseitisoddandprimebutnineisokaybecauseitisdivisiblebythree  
Her eyes were burning, her throat ached, and the pizza in her stomach had just turned to lead. She shoved her hand into her pocket, drawing out the four dollars and sixty six cents exactly and throwing it at him with all of her might and began to storm to her car, tears of anger and embarrassment washing down her face. Annie couldn’t believe she had been so stupid. She couldn’t believe that she had thought he would be any different. Annie couldn’t believe she had given the thought of love a chance when she was so obviously fucked up in the head. It was obviously some kind of giant joke, he really did just feel bad for her and she couldn’t believe she had been _so stupid_!  
“Annie! Annie, what did I say?” Finnick asked desperately and she slammed her car door close.  
“Don’t talk to me! Leave me alone!” Annie half screamed at Finnick, leaving him looking wounded and confused in the center of the parking lot as she jammed her key into the ignition and pulled away quickly.  
She was sobbing on the way back home, and for once she took shelter in her rituals as she followed all the speed limits and parked in the same spot and knew for a fact that it would all be the same as she would make the bed, with her sheets and covers, put away her clothes, put on her robe and grab her towel, she wash her hair right to left and her body from down to up because that was right and dried from down to up and brush her teeth and floss and use Listerine and then she would wash her hands and get dressed in her pjs. Going outside of her comfort zone only brought her pain. She should have just accepted that and moved on. But when she got through the door and saw her mother sitting on the couch she didn’t have the strength to do anything but collapse right there and cry into mother’s chest when she rushed up to her, unable to explain why she was crying to her mother, but just desperately needing comfort.  
10:43.  
She fell asleep, chasing the rabbit with two blue capsules.


	3. Still-Waking Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "However, having lived in a world so out of her control for most of her life, she just wanted to be able to be in command of herself." A young woman living and struggling with OCD, falls in love with a young man chasing his dreams. But life isn't as simple as just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all the love, and I hope you all continue to enjoy! The chapter didn't get posted yesterday due to midterms and college stuff. But the good news is that I'm almost in the clear for spring break!   
> Trigger warning: Drug abuse and attempted suicide

Annie could recall it truly starting when she was in fifth grade.

Though of course it wasn't the full blown hysteria, the madness, the frenzy that it was currently. But the signs were there, almost constantly rearing their heads. When relatives reminisced upon her childhood and brought up stories of her blocks having to be in a particular order, or when her parents had to forcibly stop her from scrubbing at a scraped knee constantly for fear of an infection, it was there. But the first time she knew something was wrong with her was in fifth grade. That was really when it all started.

At school during that fateful day they had watched a rather harmless video about smoking in health class, as most elementary students did during their time at elementary school. Annie had seen similar videos before, but this video in particular had an image that burned in her brain. The lungs of a man who had smoked, a black, tar-filled, disease ridden, shrunken thing. Annie clearly remembered feeling beyond nauseous as the video showed people just standing there smoking, and all Annie could think about was how normal they looked even though they had organs that were rotting away. And that was when the thought dawned on her. What if her mother or her father or her sister or baby brother had organs rotting away on their insides? What if they were sick and just didn't know it? What if she smoked around them or if someone else smoked around them, and they got sick but were unable to get help and then they died?

Annie got so ill at the thought that she had to be taken to the nurse, and then she was brought home. She told her parents of her worry and they laughed it off, because they weren't smokers. But that did nothing to ease her mind. She lay in bed that night, the images assaulting her of her mother and father smiling at her before they dropped to the floor, going to the hospital only to find rotten organs. Again and again, night after night, her mind would replay those images again and again until they twisted into more sinister visions, her parents in the hospital bed, coughs yielding blood, black tar dripping from between teeth, and always, always it was all her fault. Annie was the one who got those she loved sick, who infected them with her presence. She would lay in her bed in the darkness, frozen in absolute terror, as the waking nightmare repeated again and again.

It was then she came to the realization of how dirty she was. It was the most obvious thing in the whole world. Annie was dirty and she would contaminate those she loved and they would get sick. Annie needed to save her family from the illness that was so apparently corrupting them. It was then that the ritualization started. Annie knew it wasn't normal, but she had to wash her hands, and her sheets, and her dishes, oh so carefully to protect her family from germs. Annie knew it wasn't normal that she began keeping time so carefully, but what if something happened and her mom and dad or sister and brother had gotten into an accident or fainted and hit their head and that was why they were running late because they needed her help? Annie knew it wasn't normal to plan every second and aspect of her day, but if she didn't what if she missed something important like a doctor's appointment and infected her whole family with an illness? Annie knew what she was doing was irrational and dumb and didn't make any sense at all, but she couldn't stop it or else the consequences would be dire.

So she hid it all from her family and her friends. Annie hid the habits and the thoughts and her worries. Annie hid it so no one would be bothered by her strangeness, because she knew she wasn't being normal but she couldn't help it one bit. Her plans and actions and rituals were the glue that was holding her world together. Without them everything would fall apart and Annie didn't think she would be able to put everything back together.

Annie had hardly been sleeping at all. The thoughts tormented her, and kept her until the early hours of the morning seized by nightmarish fear. So she came home one day from school and she just wanted to sleep. That was all she wanted. Annie wanted to sleep and escape the waking nightmare she had been living in. It all made so much sense as she went into the medicine cabinet of her parent's bathroom and pulled out her father's sleeping pills. She had been sneaking one or two for a couple nights prior at that point but it hadn't really helped. She would still stay awake and it just made her feel dazed and confused in the morning. So if she took more than one or two then certainly she would go to sleep and stay asleep, because she didn't want to wake up if this endless cycle of fear and anxiety was all she had to look forward too.

She remembered tipping the bottle of capsules and letting them slide down her throat with the aid of Apple and Eve apple juice, then placing the empty bottle of apple juice by the equally empty medicine bottle. And then she felt the overwhelming feeling of relief as black dots swarmed her vision and she fell asleep right there on the couch.

When she woke up she was in the hospital with a tube running down her throat, pumping liquid out of her stomach. Her mother came in and screamed at her, demanding to know why Annie had tried to kill herself, and Annie was so terribly confused and crying because killing herself wasn't something she wanted to do. All Annie had wanted was to make it all go away, to go to sleep because she had only gotten five or six hours of sleep in three days, to stop the nightmare that was her life. Annie was mortified and scared and embarrassed as she told the doctor about the hand washing and the time keeping and the thoughts of black teeth and rot that had kept her up on so many nights because she knew what she had been doing wasn't normal, no not normal at all but it was all she could do to keep her family safe. After recounting all of this Annie was dismissed to go back to her hospital room, but she snuck out and sat outside the door as the doctor talked to her parents.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cresta, your daughter has been experiencing symptoms including anxiety, persistent, repeated, and intrusive thoughts, and to combat these she has been using rituals to calm these anxieties. This description given by your daughter as well as multiple evaluations done by myself, and a second opinion by our head in the psychiatric unit has led to our diagnosis of OCD or obsessive compulsive disorder. We can offer various treatments and methods, as well as recommend some well-trained child psychologists in the area for your use-"

"Oh God. Oh God." Annie's mom sobbed, "Is it my fault? M-My aunt has diagnosed bipolar disorder! Does that have anything to do with this?"

"Mrs. Cresta, understand that multiple factors go into the development of a disorder such as this. Of course genetics do have a role to play, however it is also a combination of brain chemistry and function, as well as learned behaviors."

"But we can treat it right?" Her father asked, "People have this disorder right? We can treat it…right?"

"We can treat your daughter, and hopeful be able to control her symptoms-"

Annie ran back to her hospital bed, grasping her mother's smart phone from her purse and typed in OCD into Google and clinked on the first link. Annie was then properly terrified by what she read. Words like: anxiety, behavior, intrusive, thoughts, rituals, and then of course disorder. Annie even at that young of an age couldn't help but see the irony in it all.

Annie had been so busy protecting her family from illness, that she hadn't seen that she was the sick one the whole time.

* * *

"Annie, please." Her mother was saying as Annie kept pacing back and forth.

It was two nights after Finnick's failed confession, and Annie had been doing worse than usual. After an argument with Kai regarding the fact that she needed to wash his sheets he had stormed out and told her parents that he was meeting his friends. That had been at exactly 4:30, she remembered because 4:30 added up to seven and that was a bad number because it is odd and prime. And now it was 11:32 and Kai hadn't called or come back home and he was hurt somewhere and Annie knew it. She knew it because it was all of her fault and he was hurt and crying and needing help.

"No, no, no, no. It's not right. It's. Not. Right. What am I doing wrong, what am I doing wrong?" Annie was begging, "Mom, what am I doing wrong?"

"You aren't doing anything wrong sweetheart." Her mother said gently. "You need to sleep."

"I can't sleep knowing that Kai is out there!" Annie gasped feeling like her rib cage was closing on her lungs, her heart racing in her chest. "Mom, i-it's my fault. It's all my fault."

"How could it be your fault, Annie?" Her mother asked, sitting on her bed.

"I'm the one, Mom! I'm the one who is driving him into a corner! It's my fault!" She sobbed, "Because I'm so stupid and I can't control myself and now no one will want to be with me-"

"Annie, listen. Your brother is going through a phase." Her mother said, "But he needs to make his mistakes and learn from them. It isn't on you to take the blame."

"Then why do I feel like it's all my fault?" Annie said, sitting slowly next to her mother who put and arm around her shoulder.

"Because you are so kind, Annie." Her mother said, touching her face. "You feel everything in your heart. You have always been like that."

"It's because I'm crazy." Annie croaked and her mother smiled.

"You are the best kind of crazy." Her mother reassured her, "Now…why do you feel like no one will ever want to be with you? That's a new phrase I haven't heard from you before."

Annie flushed and looked down at her hands. Her mother was always able to pick this stuff up.

"A…few weeks ago I met a guy." Annie said quietly. "And he was really nice to me. Asked me out to dinner… and then on a date. And I was going to say yes before he made a joke…about OCD."

"Oh Annie…" Her mother said gently, stroking her hair.

"That's why I've…been doing a little worse lately. It kinda got to me, you know." Annie said, "I really thought I could have a normal romance. He made me forget that I'm not a normal girl."

"Annie, you are a normal girl. You go to school, like popular music, have hobbies, and do whatever your mother says grudgingly." Her mother said, eliciting a small smile from her, before adding, "You have a diagnosed medical condition, but so do most Americans. This boy probably knows as much about your condition as the next average Jo, which is next to nothing. Don't fault him too much about being uninformed."

"I'm not sure he'll ever want to talk to me again…I kinda flipped out." Annie said with a dry laugh and her mother tucked Annie's hair behind her ear.

"The right one will." Her mother said before kissing her cheek. "You've just got to wait for him"

Annie smiled back at her mother as her father knocked on the door and opened it, looking tired.

"Kai's downstairs, fresh off a cop car ride and a 100 dollar fine for trespassing. Thought it'd be funny to go break into the wedding chapel in the park with his friends." Her father announced and her mom got up.

"Duty calls. Goodnight."

"Good night." Annie said as her mom left her room.

11:43.

She finally fell asleep with the aid of blue capsules, trying not to hear the yelling from downstairs.

* * *

"Finnick…can we talk?" Annie asked Finnick who looked wholeheartedly surprised.

"Yeah, sure. Of course. Walk to Mellark's?" Finnick asked, naming the popular coffee shop and bakery down the street. Annie gave a jerky nod before Finnick said good bye to the blonde girl who was nearly hanging on him and joined Annie at her side.

Neither of them talked on the way over to the coffee shop, and Annie scarcely remembered the walk over because she was just a ball of nerves, going over again and again how she was going to approach this clusterfuck of a situation, but somehow they both ended up in Mellark's without Annie fainting. Annie took a cup of black coffee with a croissant, while Finnick ordered an extravagant mocaccino and three jam filled, white and dark chocolate covered Danishes. For a few moments they both sipped their coffees before Annie sighed, finally giving up.

12:35.

Eleven. Not a good sign. Hopefully this ended up better than she thought it would. Best case scenario at this point was Finnick accepting her apologies and then going off and never speaking to her again.

"I have to apologize for three things." Annie said placing her cup making sure to wipe off all traces of liquid from the table.

"Okay." Finnick said, sounding vaguely amused.

"First off, I'm sorry I freaked out on you. I've…had some trust issues these past couples years, so the fact that everything was moving so quickly unnerved me." Annie explained, fiddling with the edge of her croissant.

"Forgiven. I'm sorry that I was trying to progress everything too quickly and I made you uncomfortable. I'm kind of used to everything going…quickly, I guess you could say. But that wasn't my goal at all. I really did just want to take you out on a date." Finnick said before smiling, "The offer still stands."

She blinked. Well, she hadn't expected that response.

"Thank you." Annie said, "I forgive you too. Secondly, I'm sorry I was dishonest with you."

"Dishonest?"

"I tried to make it seem like I wasn't interested in the date…I am. It's just that….God, this is hard for me." She said, pinching the bridge of her nose to regain composure before saying, "I have OCD."

"Oh…Oh-Oh my God. That's why…Jesus, Annie. I'm so sorry. And fuck I said such a stupid, demeaning thing to you." Finnick said, running a hand through his hair.

"It's not like you knew." Annie said, "That's why it's…hard for me to go places I don't know well. Sometimes even this is a stretch."

"I'm so sorry." Finnick said quietly.

"I'm over it. I know you didn't mean any harm by it, but understand that it did hurt my feelings."

"I'm surprised you're even talking to me anymore." Finnick said truthfully.

"My skin isn't that thin. I had just pushed myself hard that day so something had to give out."

"I forgive you, if you forgive me?" Finnick offered and Annie smiled in return.

"And the last thing I'm sorry about is wailing on you with spare change."

"Hey, I've got a pretty thick skull. Takes more than a couple cents to beat me up. Though you do have great aim."

"It's all…um…physics."

"Aeronautical type physics?" Finnick asked and her smile tugged further on her lips.

"Something like that."

"So…what do you want to do from here?" Finnick asked and Annie blinked.

12:39.

"What I want to do?" Annie asked surprised.

"Yeah…I mean, my intentions are pretty clear." Finnick said, taking a bite of a Danish, "I really like you, and because I really like you, I'm totally cool with you calling the shots on what you feel comfortable with."

"…really?" Annie asked surprised.

"Yeah."

"I guess that's a little surprising." Annie admitted, "Most guys would be running to the hills."

"Why is that?"

"It's a little daunting, don't you think?" Annie asked back.

"I don't think so. Trust me, I've been with some girls who would've had you running for the hills." Finnick said with a pretty smile, "I like being with you. You're funny, easy to talk to, and you've put up with me better then you give yourself credit for."

"It's just a little surprising. Most guys I've tried to date aren't so cool with me calling the shots." Annie said and Finnick shrugged as he licked his fingers free of jam and chocolate (a sight that Annie was sure to have committed to memory).

"We're both adults. I think we can figure it out." Finnick explained before starting on his third Danish between gulps of his drink. "So tell me what you want to do first."

"Tell me about yourself." Annie asked and Finnick gave a quirking half-smile.

"I'm a full blooded Irish boy, with a dual citizenship, my dad's a well-known real estate agent and my mom's an orthopedic surgeon in Florida. When I was six I started swimming, and then basically grew up in Boston, going to prep schools and the like training to be the best-"

"Finnick, I asked about you. Not swimming." Annie laughed, "Unless swimming is everything."

Finnick's eyes went wide for a second, and he looked completely astonished. He swallowed heavily as if she had just said something completely groundbreaking before saying with a bit of a croak,

"I…uh…I'm a huge cheesy nineties music buff. My favorite movies are The Blind Side and Forrest Gump. I love seafood and have a hobbies of sailing and scuba diving when I can." Finnick explained. "What about you?"

"I have a mom and dad. Both are accountants. My sister Cora's in her clinics for med school, and I have a younger brother named Kai who's in middle school." Annie explained, "I guess I like most kinds of music…though I have a particular attraction to alternative. My favorite movie has got to be The Princess Bride, and I don't really have many hobbies. I like to read I guess…school work takes up most of my time." Annie said, "I can play a mean saxophone though. Used to be in the band at my high school and did the pep band here for a while."

"And you used to swim on a swim team. Which one?" Finnick asked and Annie blushed a little bit.

"The Water Dragons."

Finnick gave an appreciative whistle.

"Damn, The Water Dragons? They are hard core. Are they the reason you got injured?"

"It…um, wasn't that I got injured. It's hard to swim when you have to be constantly reassured of how many laps you've swam or need to swim." Annie said quietly.

"Oh." Finnick said shortly before giving a sigh. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize. It isn't your fault."

12:43.

That sat in silence for a few moments, neither of them knowing quite what to say before Finnick spoke up again,

"So, since we're taking it slow, what's up next on the agenda?"

"Agenda?"

"My offer for a date is still wide open. What do you want to do?" He asked, surprising her.

"I don't know. It's kind of hard for me to come up with something right on the spot." Annie said, her brain still getting over the shock that Finnick was actually okay with all of the baggage she had dumped on his lap. She was almost grateful, if not for that her mind would be dive bombing into all the ten million different options or terrible outcomes.

"Then how about you come up with an activity, and a restaurant, and tell me on Friday? Then we can plan accordingly." Finnick offered and Annie blinked.

"Just like that? You'll let me decide?" Annie asked, bewildered.

"Yep. It's kinda a relief actually. I'm totally shit at planning things. Oh, and also let me pay for this, and don't throw the money right back in my face." Finnick joked and Annie flushed.

"I just ordered a coffee and a croissant!"

"And I'm paying for every damn cent of it, thank you very much." Finnick said in a stern manner and Annie couldn't help but roll her eyes. "And don't roll your eyes at me, even though that's kind of cute."

Annie's face went hot at this and she spluttered out something that had Finnick laughing merrily as he covered the bill for both of them.

He walked her back to campus, and he walked to his next class and even though that day was Monday and she always takes her car through the car wash, choosing the third option called the Diamond wash, before going home and vacuuming her car and then doing her homework until exactly 6:55, and then going on to help her mother make dinner and then eat it, and then onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnine eight is good, seven is bad because it is odd and prime, but nine is okay because it is divisible by three, and then she would make the bed, with her sheets and covers, put away her clothes, put on her robe and grab her towel, she wash her hair right to left and her body from down to up because that was right and dry from down to up and brush her teeth and floss and use Listerine and then she would wash her hands and get dressed in her pjs and then she would go to bed on Mondays. Instead she high tailed it for Johanna's dorm, banging on her door only to finding Johanna rather ruffled and almost completely naked except for a basketball jersey with Thresh's last name, Johnson, on it.

"Where's the fucking fire, Crazy?" Johanna demanded, rubbing her very bloodshot eyes, "Damnit, my head is pounding. Remind me never to sink into bottom of a bottle of tequila again."

"Finnick O'Daire asked me out on a date." Annie exclaimed.

"Um, congratulations?"

"What am I supposed to do? He told me I could choose where we go and what if I don't choose something he likes-"

"I'm sure you'll choose something great, if not just suck his cock and everything will be just peachy." Johanna offered and Annie's cheeks turned into flame.

"Johanna I'm being serious!" Annie half shrieked.

"I am being serious!"

"Take him ice skating." A deeper, much manlier voice called from in the room, and that was when Annie who had obviously been so caught up in her panic that she hadn't noticed the extremely large Thresh, barely fitting in Johanna's bed, with obviously only the blanket covering him. He offered a shy wave, "Hi Annie."

"Um, hi Thresh." Annie squeaked.

"What about ice skating?" Johanna asked, and Thresh shrugged.

"The varsity teams were able to go skate in the arena a few weeks ago. Finnick absolutely sucked at it, but he totally loved it." Thresh said and Johanna jumped back on the bed.

"There you go, problem solved. Now unless you want to come in and join-"

"No thanks. I'm flattered, but I'm not ready to take our friendship to that level." Annie answered.

"What you need is a threesome, Cresta." Johanna said with a role of her eyes, and Thresh just chuckled.

"I'll leave you to your own devices, Johanna. Bye Thresh."

"Bye Annie. It's always nice seeing you." Thresh said good naturedly before Johanna half-shoved her tongue down his throat. Annie shut the door and shook her head mumbling to herself,

"And people say I'm the crazy one."

* * *

"Here." Annie said, sliding the few stapled pieces of paper across the table to Finnick. They both sat in the dining commons the day after Thresh had given Annie the idea for their date, and he took a look at the packet before his eyes widened.

"Whoa."

"My address, the address of the ice rink, then of course the restaurant. I wanted to make sure you had everything."

"Thanks Annie. This really helps." Finnick said gratefully. "Oh, and wait? Ice rink! Awesome, I love skating. I can totally show you my awesome moves!"

"I'll look forward to that." Annie said, mentally noting to thank Thresh again, as Finnick moved his completely full of food and began to eat. A crock of chicken pot pie, lasagna, and a bacon cheese burger, and fries, sat on one plate, next to a plate of chocolate chunk cookies, a slice of apple pie, butterscotch pudding, a piece of vanilla cake with buttercream frosting, all raided from the lunch line to the amusement of everyone around. She remembered this because the lunch lady, who was obviously familiar with Finnick's insane eating habits, had smiled and asked him jokingly as she examined his tray and he had cheerily announced that there was nothing else he wanted more than coconut macaroons and tiramisu.

In comparison, she packed all of her own lunches, but had just gotten a can of apple juice, making sure to disinfect the lip of the can before opening it and beginning to unpack her lunch from her lunch box carefully. Everything else was in carefully labeled Tupperware containers, sealed and cleaned. A small salad with lettuce, tomato, carrots, and cucumbers, and a container of creamy Caesar dressing came out first, Wheat Thins, hummus, and of course carefully washed and cut apple slices and a small container of Jiff to go peanut butter for dessert.

She opened up the salad first. Pealing the lid off the container before taking the lid off the salad dressing and pouring the dressing over the salad, rotating around four times before wiping clean the side of the container and closing it, placing it back in her bag as she set the first napkin aside to be thrown out later. She took her stash of plastic utensils out of the box in her bag, placing a fork, spoon, and knife on a napkin beside her and slowly began to eat, wrinkling her nose in disgust as Finnick dumped ketchup and mustard on his burger, watching as he alternated between bites of all of his food in reckless abandon, not caring in the slightest if tomato sauce from his lasagna got on his fries, nor if mustard dripped into his pot pie. But of course the most alarming thing was that he never seemed to stop to breath.

"Finnick, please slow down." Annie scolded him and he blinked, swallowed as his mouth was full of food.

"I'm freaking starving!" He whined and Annie rolled his eyes.

"And the food isn't going to run away from you." Annie reminded him, feeling much like she was scolding a child as he pouted and took an exaggeratingly slow bite from his lasagna, chewed and swallowed. "If you eat like that you'll make yourself sick."

"I haven't gotten sick so far." Finnick said before looking at her own lunch, "Is that enough for you? That's like a snack for me, and like zero protein."

"Peanut butter has protein in it." Annie argued before sighing, "Besides this is enough for me." (She didn't mention that the fact that to her deli meats in lunches was just a bad idea because what if the meat spoiled and she got ill? Annie only ate meat hot, and steak well done, because it lowered the risk of developing a food-borne illness. And also because gaining a bacteria in the gut like E. coli could lead to harmful side effects like gastroenteritis, or UTIs. )

"I'm guessing you're one of those people who also doesn't like to have their food touching?"

"You guess correctly, just thinking about it upsets me." Annie admitted, because food touching what wasn't supposed to be touched was contaminating it and she couldn't eat it because it would turn to lead in her mouth and make her stomach sick and-

"Well in my opinion, it all goes to the same place. But as my grandma says, to each his own." Finnick said with a smile full of frosting from the cake. Annie just rolled her eyes and reached out with a napkin to wipe his face.

"You've got frosting on your face." Annie informed him.

Finnick just continued to smile that utterly adorable smile that just made her either want to jump his bones, or smack the look off his face. Honestly he infuriated her, somehow being able to set off all of her triggers, and yet being so…damn nice that she couldn't fault him for it. The fact was that he was honestly trying to make this (whatever they had) work. No other guy had ever done that before, and she found it unbearably sweet.

However, the fact she found him sweet didn't help a few days later when she was officially losing her mind because she was going on a date with _Finnick O'Daire_.

Annie was again very thankful for her color schedule, because if she didn't have it she probably would have taken every article of clothing out of her closet in her desperation as she tried to figure out what on earth she should wear on her date with Finnick.

But since that day was a green day, she was already limited in the number of things she could choose from. After probably about three hours of changing and then unchanging she had finally decided on a grey long sleeve shirt, underneath a comfy, but warm, green military jacket, paired with dark wash jeans, brown and white fleece combat boot, and a white scarf. She threw her hair up in a messy bun, hoping that it said I-am-casual-but-still-put-in-effort, and gave a valiant attempt with natural looking makeup. She sent the picture of her finished product to her group chat with her friends, who all applauded her choices, and she was glad because she needed other people to approve of it otherwise she would be thinking all night about the other outfits she could have chosen and Finnick thinking that she wasn't well dressed or that she wasn't taking this seriously because she most definitely was.

5:01.

She was nearly scared out of her skin when the doorbell rang. She yanked her purse from the bed, ran downstairs and opened the door quickly.

And there was Finnick O'Daire.

He looked just as perfect as usual, and of course he didn't have to work on it for three hours to achieve it. That was the thing about Finnick. He was so goddamn effortlessly stunning that it could make a girl believe in the validity of romance novel plots and take for truth the insane logic of every other song of the radio. And maybe the best or worst thing about him was that he was perfectly aware of it, and yet in at least her presence he didn't carry himself with the pomp and circumstance he could have. He almost seemed to find it funny when the so called "Finn Fan Club" came to his swim meets with his name slathered in paint on their bellies, or when girls gave him scores when they walked down the street together.

Annie wouldn't consider herself ugly by any stretch of the imagination, bedraggled at some points yes, but ugly no. And she was obviously somewhat attractive to the opposite gender, because during her rebellious stage in her sophomore year (who didn't have one of those) she had a string of boyfriends who thought she was pretty enough until she realized that studying for her SATs was actually way more important than making out in the hallways and going on pseudo dates, and that sex wasn't something Annie was totally comfortable doing because she was like only sixteen and basically didn't want to have sex with other children. But she had definitely not had the experiences Finnick had had, nor did she really understand what his so very gorgeous self found so attractive in her.

"Hey. What's up?" Finnick asked, leaning against the door frame before Annie gave him a roll of the eyes as she made sure to tap the frame three times, lock and unlock the door before locking it again and trying to open it, satisfied with the safely locked door.

"Oh you know, just about to go on a date." Annie said, mentally running back over her checklist. She had locked the door, checked the ovens, the coffee maker, and the other electrical appliances and they weren't running, she remembered this because when she did so she had shoved a chapstick in her pocket which was there now. Annie had checked in with her parents, making sure they were at the hotel for their meeting for their firm. Cora was at a friend's house, and Kai was with his girlfriend. With everything accounted for, and a list of chores she hadn't finished but would get to put on the fridge, she was totally ready to go.

"What a lucky guy." Finnick commented, breaking her from her mind, eyes alight in humor.

"I know right?" Annie agreed before looking past him to the car parked at the curb, and felt her eyebrows raise. "A Cadillac? Very fitting."

"It's my Grandma Mags'. I can't wait till you meet her. You'll absolutely adore her." Finnick laughed as Annie wiped her boots thoroughly on the mat on the front door before Finnick and her began the walk to his car, "And on that note, are you ready for the best first date of your life?"

"I think so." Annie said with a smile back.

5:07.

They took off.


	4. Two Blushing Pilgrims

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "However, having lived in a world so out of her control for most of her life, she just wanted to be able to be in command of herself." A young woman living and struggling with OCD, falls in love with a young man chasing his dreams. But life isn't as simple as just that. Modern AU Odesta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone enjoys the chapter! There's only one more chapter written after this so far, so updates will not be occurring daily as they have been, obviously. Just an FYI. :)

5:09.

The inside of Finnick's grandmother's car smelt of salt water taffy and pine tree air freshener. A scent that was strangely comforting as Finnick leisurely drove, one hand on the wheel, the other one typing out the rhythm to Buddy Holly. A strand of rosary beads hung from the rear-view mirror, and the compartments on the side doors were filled with different CDs. One side full of folk music and the other with rock bands. Finnick gave her a cheerful smile.

"So, tell me about your day." Finnick said and Annie gave him a roll of her eyes.

"I decided to play sick and skip school today. I goaded my depressed best friend into taking his parent's car to fool the school so I could take my significant other out on the town, though apparently the Dean went to go check and got attacked by our family dog. In any case, I experienced a fun day on the town, and managed to get back in bed before my parents suspected anything." Annie said vaguely, and she heard Finnick start to cackle next to her.

"Ha-ha, I wonder where I've heard a story like that before."

"No idea. But I did watch a couple movies after finishing my homework, before getting dressed and getting in your car." Annie said with a smile all her own.

"And hopefully this is just a continuation of that rather good day." Finnick said before slowing down as he hit a red light and looking at her, "You look beautiful."

At that Annie blushed and tugged at a stray lock of hair that had fallen from her bun. She had the urge to tell Finnick that she was no such thing. She wasn't beautiful, she was average. Her hair was impossible and her skin was so dry and she had to keep a bottle of hand lotion on hand or else she would bleed everywhere and it was disgusting so disgusting that sometimes she couldn't believe that those hands were hers and she just wasn't one of those girls who just woke up looking presentable but had to waste hours fretting over every single thing or it'd be wrong and it'd be all wrong and she just couldn't handle it-

"Thank you." Annie said instead, "You clean up rather nicely yourself. I also don't mind it when your button downs are buttoned correctly."

"Annie, might you be…perhaps, flirting with me?" Finnick asked with a suggestive eye wiggle that had Annie spluttering out an incomprehensible answer and Finnick chuckled as he pulled into the ice rink.

5:14.

He parked the car and before Annie could do anything he was out of the car, opening her door all close to seven feet of him towering over her as he held out his hands. Annie couldn't stop her eyebrow from quirking up.

"You're kidding me." Annie said, staring at him as if he had just grown another head. His hand. His hand was large and probably twice the size of hers, but she couldn't imagine touching his hand because her skin was cracked and had just bled earlier and what if he caught something from her?

"Nope, I am not kidding you." Finnick said, holding his hand out.

"Finnick, I'm not a feminist by any stretch of the imagination, but I think I can manage getting out of your car." Annie said trying to hide her panic by women's studies defense but Finnick just gave her a shit-eating grin.

"Nope, I'm absolutely insisting."

5:17.

Thirteen. Thirteen was a bad number, just as bad as seven. Because seven is bad because it is odd and prime and can't be cleanly divided and so it's bad just like this situation and she just couldn't handle it but if she said something then he would think she was a freak.

"I-I can't." She said, shrinking into herself, feeling sweat beginning to collect at the nape of her neck. Her hands were raw and disgusting and he shouldn't touch them. His eyes widened in sudden understanding and he dug into his pocket.

"Jesus, Ann. If something's bothering you just say it." Finnick said, pulling out leather gloves and slipping them on before holding out his hand and saying, "There we go. Is that better?"

Annie didn't tell him that it wasn't better because that was just admitting that she was weird and couldn't manage to even touch his hand with hers goddamnit, but instead just took his hand and exited the car, and he closed the door behind him. She expected him to let go, but instead she felt his fingers sheathed in leather slowly move to intertwine with hers. He gave her a look, as if waiting for her to protest or move away, but she couldn't say she wanted too. His hand, even though the leather obscured his flesh, was wonderfully warm.

The ice rink was a popular spot, especially on free skate night. Finnick couldn't help but inspire chuckles from parents and panic in the rental place as he showed off his size fourteen feet. Annie really did notice then how absolutely gigantic Finnick was in comparison to her and as they got out on the ice Annie couldn't help but ask,

"How tall are you anyways?"

"Six foot seven, why?" Finnick asked before yelping as his feet nearly slid out from underneath him right there and Annie literally had to yank him back up into a standing position.

"I don't know, you're just huge." Annie said, voice still caught in a laugh as he gripped the railing.

"Six foot seven, 230 pounds, size fourteen feet, with a six foot eleven inch wingspan." Finnick explained before giving a crooked smile and flexing his bicep, "The dimensions of a champion, baby."

"A champion, right. Call yourself that after you make the Olympics." Annie said, jabbing him in the side with her elbow though not too hard or else she might bruise him and bruising was internal bleeding which was like all the veins inside rupturing but Finnick laughed and took her hand again, tentatively sliding across the ice.

"I'm half way there." He announced, "Got my Olympic trials cuts, now just got to bring the pain. How tall are you?"

"Five foot five." Annie admitted, and heard Finnick snort to hide his chuckle and she glared at him, "Five foot five is not short."

"You're not short. You're fun sized."

"Just about everyone is short compared to you. You've got a solid six or seven inches on my father." Annie protested, "And besides, I can't help it if I look like I belong in the fifth grade in comparison to you. Hell, most of the people here probably think I'm your little sister of something."

"I don't think many older brothers hold their younger sister's hands and gaze longingly into their eyes."

"Since when do you gaze longingly into my eyes?" Annie asked with a quirk of her brow.

"Since like all the time. And holy shit you can do that thing where you move only one eyebrow. That's fucking awesome." Finnick ranted and Annie laughed.

"Never mind, I think I know which one of us belongs in the fifth grade."

They skated around the rink, sticking close to the railing for Finnick's benefit, who claimed that if he busted his face he would be in a world of hurt at practice. For a while they were quiet, both just enjoying each other's company before Finnick suddenly said,

"Tell me something else about you that I don't know."

6:34.

"Well give me a second to think. I can't just come up with something on the spot." Annie muttered before saying, "I'm a cat person."

"No way. Annie, I think this might just be the great divide in our relationship." Finnick said extremely seriously, which caused Annie to laugh.

"Let me guess, you're a dog person?"

"Man's best friend, baby. Probably the single person I miss most at home is my dog. Now I'll literally give you ten bucks if you guess my dog's name." Finnick said and Annie rolled her eyes.

"Buddy?"

"Oooh! So close! As far as we can tell Irish wolfhound mix named Maximus. I just call him Max. He's the most magnificent, best dog on the planet." Finnick said, his eyes full happiness. "I actually got a picture on my phone if you want to see."

"Sure." Annie said, as Finnick reached into his back pocket to pull out his phone and show her a picture of a gigantic, scruffy, happy looking dog next to an equally gigantic, scruffy, happy looking Finnick who was rocking the flannels and the six o'clock shadow. The sight was as adorable as it was equally attractive. "Nice beard going there."

"Hey, it was no shave November. It's basically a national holiday." Finnick protested before shoving his phone in his pocket. "Got any cats?"

"I had one named Oliver. He died two years ago and just never got around to getting another one." Annie said with a shrug.

"I'm sorry. That majorly blows."

"It did." Annie said, "But life works like that. Besides, he was an older shelter cat and he lived happily the rest of his life. Can't really ask for more."

"I know what you mean. Well, Max is totally cool with cats. My mom has one named Angel so whenever I go to her house he really likes her. Though Kyle, who is my step dad isn't the hugest fan. He's always scared that Max will bite Brooke and Adrienne…my younger half-sisters." He explained with a shrug. "My dad and Kendra keep Max."

"Is Kendra your step mom?"

"Nah, my dad's girlfriend." Finnick said, his jaw set and eyes dark. Getting the sense that this was not the conversation he wanted to have, she let it drop right there.

"Well, in any case, how about you? One thing I wouldn't know." Annie said and Finnick's eyes suddenly lightened right back up.

"How about…oh! Once I got my hat stolen by a sea turtle." Finnick said and she stared at him.

"A sea…turtle?"

"Yep! I was sailing in the Caribbean with some of my friends and decided to take a break at this cove for lunch. So I took off my hat for a second and started to open up my lunch box and I looked to my right and my hat was gone. I jumped up, dropping my sandwich, and turned around only to see a sea turtle swimming away with it in its mouth. So in conclusion, most of my lunch got ruined and a sea turtle got my hat." Finnick explained and Annie couldn't help but smile.

"Sailing sounds like fun." Annie said gently, "I've never been before."

"I'll totally take you in the summer." Finnick said excitedly, "Now that would be fun."

"Are you not having fun now?" Annie teased, and Finnick smiled back at her, blushing slightly as he fumbled.

"Oh I definitely am. It's just that…sailing plays a little more to my strengths." Finnick said, and Annie couldn't really help but agree. Ice skating was definitely not for Finnick. But, she thought, it really was adorable to see him try. But she was glad he wasn't trying too hard because it would be like the free skate days at the college were the college guys would literally fall all over each other and Annie couldn't help but see the images of Finnick getting sliced by a skate and bleeding or his head hitting the ice and cracking open.

Suddenly she felt a warm tug on her hand and she realized that Finnick was giving her a concerned look.

"Are you okay?" He asked, "You just got that look."

"What look?" Annie asked confused.

"Like you're not here. Like you go somewhere else. Does it have to do with…?" Finnick asked tentatively and Annie sighed, biting on her bottom lip for a moment, trying to regain her composure as they picked up their former pace.

"Yeah. Sorry, sometimes I just get kind of…lost." Annie said quietly.

"You don't need to tell me if you're uncomfortable…but…what's it like?"

"No I don't mind." Annie said with a sigh, "It's probably better to explain now then later. There are almost like two things that go on. I think of it as the rabbit and the wasp."

"Rabbits and wasps?"

"When I follow the rabbit, it's when I start thinking in circles. Those are my mental compulsions. The things I say in my head, my check lists, those are all parts of that. Then the wasps are my intrusive thoughts. Those are things like, if I'm washing the dishes, I'll suddenly get a thought that if I don't clean it correctly the next person eats of it will get sick." Annie said as if at one of those God awful group sessions her mother had tried to get her involved with for "Teens with Emotional Distress", "More often than not, one thing will trigger the other. Like the thought about the dish will turn into my mental compulsion which will cause me to have to ritualize."

"And do you ever try to stop yourself?" Finnick asked and Annie scoffed.

"Of course. Do you think I like it? I know that it's all stupid and irrational. I can stop but it causes me a lot of anxiety. It's like, if I don't do something someone I love will die or get injured or sick. Most of the time it's just not worth the fight." Annie said bitterly. "That's what's wrong with the way people think about OCD. It's not that I like to have my closet organized or something like that, it's that I need to do certain things otherwise it's a life or death situation."

"That's rough." Finnick said, not trying to say he was sorry or sympathize, which was a huge relief, before adding to her surprise, "If there's anything I ever do that triggers your anxiety, just tell me. Is the hand touching thing one of them?"

"No…well yes. The reason is kind of gross."

"Go for it. I dare you. I doubt anything you say could gross me out." Finnick said and Annie felt a smile tug at her lips.

"Well…it's just that my hands get cracked and bleed in the winter. And I…um…wash my hands a lot so that makes it worse. I don't think you want to touch my gross hands." Annie explained, feeling her ears heat with her shame.

And then suddenly to her surprise Finnick stepped out of the rink on one of the doors, yanking Annie off the ice. He pulled off his gloves, reaching out with one hand to touch her disgusting raw red cracked hands and she felt her heart pounding because it was so disgusting and how could he be touching them and she needed to get away or else he would catch something and all she could see was her blood oozing from the cracks there and infecting him and onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnine eight is good, seven is bad because it is odd and prime, but nine is okay because it is divisible by three-

Finnick snuck his hand into his pocket and pulled out a tiny jar of Vaseline, taking a dollop of the lotion, and massaging it into her hands with his own fingers. There was no blood or cracks or any fear in his fingertips, just her tiny, cold, limp, child sized hands enveloped in his huge, warm, fingers.

"There we go. Works like a charm." Finnick hummed, as if totally content. A jolt ran through her entire body as the pad of his thumb gently pressed against her palm, and then to her complete shock he raised her foul revolting disgusting disgusting disgusting hands to his mouth and breathed out, allowing his breath to warm her fingers, and sending jittering shocks of electricity through her body and causing an involuntary shiver to run up her spine.

She was staring at him now, as he breathed out again, and as if noticing her shock for the first time he gave her hands a squeeze and gave her a sweet grin.

"Your hands are cold." He explained, and Annie wanted to scream at him because of course they were cold and they were absolutely disgusting and what on Earth was he doing before he continued, "Cold hands, warm heart."

Annie wanted to say something, but the words were stuck in her throat. What should she say in this sort of situation? For once it was all a blank. All she could think about was how good his hands felt, and how good his hands would feel on every part of her. Finnick smiled, his gorgeous, delectable looking lips tugging up. He had brought her hands up to his mouth so he couldn't think her hands were disgusting, but how could he not think that? How could he be so…so…?

A kid bumped into Annie, breaking her trance. She yanked her hands from his grasp and cleared her throat.

"I…um…thank you." Annie said, her cheeks flushed with heat and at her embarrassment Finnick shoved the lotion back into his jacket before shoving his hands in his pockets.

"No problem." Finnick said before adding, "Your hands…they don't gross me out. They're small and cute….and I'm being really awkward aren't I? I swear to God I don't have a hand fetish."

Annie couldn't help but start to crack up, and Finnick gave a smile in return.

"What?" Finnick asked and Annie rolled her eyes and bumped her hip with his.

"You're just ridiculously sweet." Annie said quietly before adding, "You want to go get dinner?"

"Sure. Sounds good." Finnick said turning to hobble back to the skate rentals.

Finnick didn't reach out to grasp her hand, though he did continue to open doors for her, waiting patiently as she tapped.

He drove them to the restaurant that Annie had chosen. They spent the rest of their date talking about their interests and likes, and Annie indulged him by allowing him to pay for their meal. Then, he drove her back home, parking the car on the curb as the porch lights sparkled against the tiny dusting of snow on the ground.

9:01.

"I would walk you to your door, but I think I know you well enough to know that isn't something you want."

"You guess correctly." Annie laughed, "I…had fun tonight. Thank you, Finnick."

"Up to doing it again sometime?" Finnick asked hopefully and Annie smiled.

"Anytime." Annie said, and was she imagining that his eyes darted down for a moment. At her lips? Maybe she was also imagining the sudden heaviness of the air between them, of the shiver that ran down her spine, not from cold, from anticipation. She shouldn't expect a kiss from him. That would be just too outlandish. Besides, her lips were cracked and dried from the weather and from her biting them. He shouldn't want to kiss her. He would go home, and she should go back inside because she needed to go and onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnine eight is good, seven is bad because it is odd and prime, but nine is okay because it is divisible by three, and then she would make the bed, with her sheets and covers, put away her clothes, put on her robe and grab her towel, she wash her hair right to left and her body from down to up because that was right and dry from down to up and brush her teeth and floss and use Listerine and then she would wash her hands and get dressed in her pjs and kissing Finnick O'Daire was a bad idea. Kissing him was a bad idea because even though he had said he liked her she wasn't sure if it was like or like like and she didn't want him to feel like he had any sort of obligation to her if he didn't feel like he wanted to continue whatever they were doing and-

"Annie." The way he said it brought her back to the present with a start. She looked up at him, and he looked down at her. His mouth parted, tongue darting out to wet his gorgeous lips. Sudden hunger gnawed at her gut, tugging deep inside of her. She wanted his mouth on hers, more than anything. She didn't know whether or not he noticed her focus, but he bent down and she pressed up on the balls of her feet. Her breath caught as his lips brushed against hers and then pressed firmly.

They were as perfect as she imagined they would be. He tasted so much like the cherry salt water taffy he had stored in his car cup holder, and it was so enticing she could hardly handle how good it was. She could feel her heart, like a tiny bird flapping wildly in her chest as if attempting to break free of the cage of her ribs, and hand itself right over to him and his perfect goofy crooked smile, and hands that grasped hers without hesitation, and kind, warm, beautiful eyes.

They pulled away to breathe. Finnick's eyes were wide, and he released a shaky breath.

"Wow." Finnick said, quietly.

"Yeah." She agreed rather anticlimactically, blushing, fixing her purse on her shoulder. "I'll see you later?"

Annie turned to go to her door when Finnick suddenly caught her hand. He pulled her to him pressing his lips against hers again. Annie intertwined her fingers in his soft, luscious curls, and his hands touched her waist as her toes curled, before Annie took a step back.

"Good night, Finnick." Annie said, and Finnick smiled right back at her.

"Good night, Annie." Finnick said, as Annie gave him a final peck before walking back into his house, tapping once before closing the door behind her. She couldn't help but touch her tingling lips as she peaked over at the window, only to see Finnick fist pumping outside.

Annie couldn't help but smile.

9:05.

* * *

"You little bitch! You totally tapped Finnick O'Daire's gorgeous ass!" Johanna said, rushing up to Annie as they walked to the Arts center, nearly putting Annie in a choke hold.

"I didn't tap anything!" Annie said, looking around at the large group of people who were staring at them and turned crimson. "We just kissed."

"Like how much did you kiss? Like lips touching or eating each other's faces? And how much petting was involved?" Johanna asked and Annie scoffed.

"Just lips. No tongue, and definitely no petting. It was just a good night kiss!"

"So you totally wasted the opportunity to fuck the most gorgeous guy on this side of the planet?"

"I don't want to fuck anyone! It's not like that!" Annie said sternly and Johanna rolled her eyes.

"Annie, this is Finnick O'Daire we're talking about. Voted number one Hottest Single by every sorority on campus. His transgressions have basically risen into legendary status. I mean, did you not hear about last spring break? He's fucked his way through every eligible hot girl on campus, and they always want more." Johanna said, "And you're telling me all you did last night was give him a good night kiss?"

"Yes." Annie said firmly, "That's all that happened, and there was no other intent. We went on a date, he took me home, we kissed good night, and that was it."

"Such a wasted opportunity." Johanna sighed, "You have to be mental to pass that up."

Annie rolled her eyes as they walked into the classroom. Annie took her regular seat next, pulling out her notebook and organizing her pens. It was just then that Finnick walked in. Annie expected there to be a tiny hint of awkwardness, but instead he smiled a brilliant smile and sat down right next to Annie.

"Good morning ladies." He greeted easily, and Johanna gave him a mock salute.

"Morning Finnick." Annie said back.

"So, I was thinking… on Friday we have a home meet. I was wondering if you would want to go." Finnick asked and Annie blinked.

"To your swim meet?" Annie asked surprised, before frowning, "I'm sorry. This Friday I have to go to a doctor's appointment."

The disappointment was obvious in Finnick's features, and she felt her stomach twist up in guilt but there was nothing she could do. She had to go to her doctor's appointment, otherwise she ran the risk of getting behind on her vaccinations, and if she did that then she could catch an awful disease like meningitis or tetanus or HPV and then she would be sick or infect her family and then burden them with the costs and she couldn't do that because that would be irresponsible, and possibly worse than all of those things she needed to make sure she was refilled for her antianxiety and antidepressant medications which were one of the only things that kept her grounded to this earth like a weight on the end of a balloon string and if she didn't get them refilled the string would be snipped away and she would be torn away from reality and completely lose control because her existence was really that precarious like the string and the balloon and if she wasn't careful she would explode and destroy everything in her path.

Class went on as normal, and Finnick acted as normal as ever. Annie honestly started to think that maybe he had forgotten about the blisteringly hot kiss they had shared. As they walked out of the Arts Center, and Annie was so absorbed in those thoughts when suddenly a yell came from the side.

"Watch out!"

And that was when Annie was smacked in the side by a snow ball and effectively slipped and fell right on her ass.

A couple of fraternity guys, obviously in the middle of a snowball fight hastily apologized before returning to their competition, leaving Finnick to have to help her off the ground.

"Jesus, I'm soaked." Annie groaned, peeling off her sopping wet sweatshirt and shivering as the winter air stung her skin.

"Shit, wait. Here." Finnick said, taking off his letterman jacket and offering it to her, "Take this. You can't go walking around like that."

"What about you?" Annie demanded, and he smiled.

"I'm going to swim practice. I've got my warm up in my locker." Finnick said as Annie put his jacket on.

"Thank you." She said, rolling up the sleeves. Just like him, the jacket was gigantic. It fell nearly to her knees and the cuffs had to be rolled up multiple times to see her fingers.

"Oh, here." Finnick said, popping her collar jokingly. "Now no one will mess with you."

"Ha ha, funny." Annie laughed, as he fixed the collar of his jacket, his fingers brushing her collarbone.

"See you later?" He asked quietly and she smiled a strange, wobbly smile at him, because all she could think of was how nice it would be if he kissed her again.

But they didn't kiss, and she smiled at him.

"Yeah. See you later."

She went to her car and she drove back home carefully, making sure to obey all of the speed limits. When she got home she parked her car in the same spot she always did, tapping the door as she left and the wheel with her foot before walking inside, tapping on the door, making sure she wiped her shoes thoroughly. Her brother was sitting on the couch playing some sort of video game on the screen.

"Hi." Annie greeted and Kai didn't even look at her.

"How much did you pay that guy last night to pretend to be your boyfriend?" Kai scoffed and Annie felt her face heat up.

"First off, he isn't my boyfriend. And second off, what I do with my spare time is none of your concern." Annie snapped at him.

"Whatever, I'm guessing you didn't tell him how much of a freak you are." Kai snapped, and this time Annie marched around the couch, and yanked the cord that connecting his controller to his Xbox. The whole system detached from the wall and smashed on the ground.

"What the fuck?!" He screeched and Annie just shrugged.

"Oops! I'm sorry. I can't control myself. I'm crazy, remember?" Annie said in a sing-song voice as she shrugged, and her brother turned purple and steam nearly poured out of his ears.

"Fucking bitch." Kai muttered under his breath as Annie walked upstairs to her room. She sighed as she closed her door behind her and fell right on her bed.

"He's such a creep." She muttered to herself, staring up at the ceiling. She turned her head, cheek coming into contact with the collar of the jacket…Finnick's jacket, and she stilled. The scent of detergent, men's shampoo, and again cherry salt water taffy. A scent that was clean, and delicious, and nearly made her mouth water. It was the scent that had enveloped her in that kiss that had sent every nerve ending in her body on fire. The jacket too, was warm, it had been warm when Finnick had first put it upon her. Warm like his smile, his skin, his gentle large hands and fingers-

She sat up with a start.

No way in hell was she going to let herself fantasize about him. No way, no how.

She groaned and fell back on the bed. Goddamn perfect, stupid, wonderful Finnick O'Daire. She couldn't help but see his disappointed frown again and again.

Annie had to do something.

* * *

Did you know that doctor's offices are cesspools of bacterium?

It makes sense when you think about it. People who are sick go to the doctors. Sick people who don't care where they sneeze or touch or cough, spreading infection and virus and contamination go to the doctor. And like sponges, innocent perfectly healthy people absorb the sickness like sponges. Annie sat in the car as long as she possibly could, even though her appointment was at 12:30 and it was 12:20 and being late was sloppy and unacceptable but her nails were digging into the wheel and she sat there, locked in absolute terror because she couldn't do it she couldn't walk in there and then she would get sick and she couldn't, she wouldn't but she had to.

After another agonizing minute, Annie woodenly got out of the car, making sure to tap the wheel and lock the doors. She was thankful for her gloves as she opened the door, holding her breath as she walked past a woman with a disgusting cough that rattled her chest. And bile rose in Annie's throat as she stood there locked in fear as she watched the woman cough and cough, the lungs probably rotting in her chest and she couldn't do this she couldn't. The secretary behind the sliding window looked at her pleasantly, before her expression turned concerned as she slide open the window.

"What's your name, sweetheart? Are you hear for a walk in?"

"No…no, I'm here for an appointment." She said, placing her shaking, gloved hands on the counter, steadying herself because she felt weak and nauseous.

"What's your name?"

"Annie Cresta." She said, feeling a cold sweat breaking out and rooting herself to the spot because otherwise she would run back out to her car. The nurse asked her the normal questions, and then let Annie go into the waiting room but she couldn't because the faces were spinning and all she could see was sickness everywhere slathered all over the walls, dripping down like black pus, filling the air with spores, infecting her and everything.

She ran to the bathroom, locking the door. She gripped the sink, turning the knob and wetting a towel. She patted her face with the towel, before throwing it out, before peeling off her gloves and washing her hands, shoving her gloves into her pants pocket because she couldn't put it in the jacket's pocket because-

She touched the sleeve bringing the collar to her face and breathing in. Finnick's scent soothed her, and she hugged herself to bring it closer.

God, it was embarrassing. She had washed it last night with all of her clothes, and had put it in a plastic bag and was going to give it back to him if she could get to the meet after this appointment…and she shouldn't be wearing it because what if he caught something because she had worn it here? But… it was so comforting. Annie could always lie, bring it back to her house and wash it again. She had just needed something to get her through this so she could get to his swim meet.

She walked back out to the waiting room, standing apart from everyone else and not touching anything until the nurse called her name at 12:42.

Then she waited in the room, nervously rocking on her heels, not willing to sit on the bench-thing as she was handed a sheet that was filled with questions as she changed into her smock.

 _Do you feel physically restless or rundown?_ Yes.

 _Do you experience insomnia or excessive sleep every day?_ Yes.

 _Problems with concentration or making decisions almost every day?_ Yes.

 _Do you have loss of enjoyment of things that were once pleasurable?_ Yes. But I'm always miserable, so it doesn't really matter.

 _On a scale of 1 which is hardly never to five which is constantly, how would you rate your anxiety?_ How about a solid 10?

 _Do you experience feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, or guilt on a constant bases?_ Well, golly gee. Thanks for fucking reminding me.

By the time her doctor, a nice woman by the name of Dr. Mallard, came in she was feeling even more frazzled then usual. She kept looking at her watch because she needed to get out here more then anything. 

12:57.

"Hello, Annie. How are you feeling today?" She asked and Annie swallowed.

"Um…not good. The whole doctor's office thing." Annie said and the doctor nodded in understanding, scribbling down something on her file. 

"But you did come here by yourself. That is certainly a big accomplishment." Her doctor said and Annie managed a wobbly smile.

"My psychiatrist said I should try to push myself." Annie said, rocking back on her palms.

"You're doing a good job. How's school going?"

"Very good." Annie said quietly.

"Eating well? No loss of appetite?"

"Yes and yes."

1:04. 

"Still on your regular medications?"

"Yes, and I need refills of both."

"Alright, I can get that call in. You're still going to the CVS on Main St.?"

"Yes." Annie said, breathing out in relief as her first priority was taken care of.

"Alright, how much exercise would you say you're getting on a daily basis?"

"1-2 hours a day. I run, use an elliptical, and weight lift."

"Any aches or pains or anything else I should be aware of?"

"No."

"How about your periods? Still coming regularly? You're on birth control, correct?"

"Yes and yes."

"Have you been sexual active recently, or are going to be?"

Annie stared at her.

1:06. 

"Um…well…" Annie was wracking her brain for an appropriate answer. She was sort of in a relationship, but they certainly hadn't had sex or had talked about it. "Potentially."

"Alright, as you know I recommend a trip to the gynecologist and tests for both of you."

"Yes of course."

"Alright, now let's get on with the physical exam, and I'll get your shots ready."

The physical exam went without a hitch, and Annie kept nervously looking at the clock (more than usual) because if this didn't move along faster she would completely miss Finnick's swim meet. After the exam, Dr. Mallard left and she was forced to wait for another agonizing ten minutes as the nurse lackadaisically came in with her shots and disinfected her arm.

"Alright sweetie, make sure to keep your arm loose alright?" She said, and Annie tried to do that because she needed to get this done to keep everyone safe but the nurse was literally poking holes that could get infected into her arm and injecting illness into her arm by a hollow needle and-

A prick of pain, and then it was done. She took a shaky breath as another prick came, and then the nurse wiped down her arm, and applied bandages.

"Alright you're all set." She announced and Annie nearly ran passed her, running to the window, setting up her next appointment, and then running to her car.

1:32.

Shit. She thought, absolutely panicked. She wasn't going to get there on time. Annie was going to miss his meet completely!

And so Annie did something that wasn't normal at all.

Annie drove five miles over the speed limit, but it didn't seem to help. She was hitting every single goddamn light on the way to the college. She wasn't going to make it. In fact, she might get there two years later. With a growl of frustration Annie stepped on the gas, ignoring the screaming voices in her head because she needed to get there.

Annie flashed her ID when she finally got through the gate, doing the worst parking job of her life, before running to the athletic center, not even caring that she was frazzled and still wearing Finnick's jacket.

Annie finally made it to the pool…and it was packed.

She pushed her way through the crowd, ignoring how sweaty gross disgusting it was until Annie could see the pool, the men's 400 freestyle relays appearing at the end of the lanes behind the blocks, and then the scoreboard.

The meet was coming down to the last relay. A relay that Finnick was anchoring.

A whistle blew, and the first swimmers got up on the block.

"Men's four hundred freestyle relay." The official announced, "Swimmers, take your mark."

The first swimmers went down, and for a moment the entire pool went completely silent. Then, the buzzer went off and the swimmers dove into the water. For the first leg the Mockingjays were a little ahead, and then during the second leg of the relay the other team was a little ahead. By the third leg the teams were neck in neck, stroke for stroke. Annie saw Finnick at the block, face tense as he pressed his goggles upon his face.

"Finnick!" Annie screamed, and even though the pool was so loud Finnick's head snapped up to look right at her, "Kick some ass!"

A goofy grin spread across his face, and he got up on the block as the two swimmers flip turned at the wall in near synchrony. Everyone was screaming at the top of their lungs as the third legs of the relays swam into the wall.

Finnick stepped into his start, swinging his arms, and was airborne before slicing through the water in a perfect streamline. It was a sight to behold, really. Finnick was truly a creature of the water. His powerful arms and legs propelling him so quickly that it was nearly unreal. The two of the swimmers were neck in neck, neither of them giving in, until they slammed into the wall.

The scoreboard froze, and the entire pool waited in baited breath until numbers lit up the screen.

Finnick had won by .03.

The bleachers erupted into cheers, as did Annie. Finnick was pulled out of the water, slapping high fives to his other team mates and getting hugs. He walked out of the pool, down the side, to the bleachers as someone threw him his towel and he put it over his shoulders. Annie assumed he was going to talk to his parents, however instead he walked right up to her.

"Nice jacket." He said, his breath still coming quickly, his face flushed with exertion.

"Great job out there." Annie choked, trying to unstick the words from her throat, as the sight of his gorgeous, nearly naked body glued them there. He gave a brilliant smile.

"Hey Annie?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for coming." He said and Annie smiled and rolled her eyes.

"You're such an idiot." She said, pulling him down by his towel, and into a kiss.

Annie could feel his lips smiling against hers even then.


	5. Siege of Loving Terms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "However, having lived in a world so out of her control for most of her life, she just wanted to be able to be in command of herself." A young woman living and struggling with OCD, falls in love with a young man chasing his dreams. But life isn't as simple as just that. Modern AU Odesta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last prewritten chapter! I hope you all enjoy! And don't worry, an update will be coming some time in the very near future! :)

"Annie Cresta! Is that you?" A voice called as Annie was looking at her options of shredded cheese at the grocery store because some types had more sodium then others which could lead to higher cholesterol and heart diseases while others were on sale and she didn't want to get the most expensive one because that would just be wasteful. Annie twirled around to see Mrs. Sherman, a woman that she had most especially not ever wanted to see. She was one of those PTA, God-fearing, housewives who lived in their neighborhood and couldn't keep her nose in her own damn business. Annie took a deep breath, and tried to steady her hands as she turned around and tried to smile.

3:04.

"Hi, Mrs. Sherman." Annie greeted as pleasantly as possible.

"Oh sweetheart, you look so grown up!" Mrs. Sherman said, "So beautiful. Tell me, how's school going?"

"Good, good. I'm getting my degree in engineering." Annie answered shortly, tucking a hair behind her ear, hoping her lack of enthusiasm would make Mrs. Sherman go away.

"That's wonderful, Annie." Mrs. Sherman said, "I always knew you were meant for great things, sweetheart. You're an inspiration."

"Inspiration?" Annie asked, befuddled.

"With what you're dealing with, sweetheart. You know, God gives greater challenges to some people. And you make everyone who knows you so proud." Mrs. Sherman said, and Annie stared at her in actual disbelief before she felt herself flush with embarrassment and anger. She wanted to physically attack this dumb woman because what on Earth did she know? What did this woman know about challenges? The people who lived with her day in and day out weren't proud of her, they were desperately dreaming that one day that her OCD could be cured, even though it never would. And most especially why on Earth did she think she had the authority to be the mouthpiece for God? Because God should know by now that Annie didn't believe in Him and would appreciate it far more that on the off chance he did exist that he could stop being interested in giving a challenge to insignificant Annie Cresta and focus his energy on doing something meaningful like solving world hunger. This was exactly the precise reason why Annie had stopped going to Church in the first place because it didn't make any sense and she didn't want to talk to Mrs. Sherman anymore all she wanted was to go home and onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnine eight is good, seven is bad because it is odd and prime, but nine is okay because it is divisible by three, and she would make the bed, with her sheets and covers, put away her clothes, put on her robe and grab her towel, she wash her hair right to left and her body from down to up because that was right and dry from down to up and brush her teeth and floss and use Listerine and then she would wash her hands and get dressed in her pjs and then she would go to bed and she would try to forget she had ever seen Mrs. Sherman.

These were the people that Annie hated the most. The people who lived thinking that they were good and tolerant, when in fact it was they were being completely condescending.

3:06.

Annie gave her best smile.

"Thank you, Mrs. Sherman." Annie said and just before Mrs. Sherman could continue to the conversation Annie's mother walked down the aisle, with the cart.

"Ah, hello Andrea." Annie's mother greeted pleasantly, and Mrs. Sherman looked positively delighted.

"Laurie! How are you?"

"Good, good. Kai is bringing his first girlfriend over for dinner, so we're just picking up some things." Her mother explained and Mrs. Sherman sighed dreamily.

"Ah, I remember those days. It was so stressful going through them, but now with all of my boys out of the house how I wouldn't dream to go back. And you know, speaking of which, Annie, you know my youngest son Kyle. You two all but grew up together. He's also in an engineering major, you know. He's coming to visit from WPI on Valentine's Day weekend and I'm sure he'd love to hang out or whatever you kids do nowadays." Mrs. Sherman said and Annie flushed with embarrassment because this was so embarrassing and Kyle Sherman was the last person on earth she would go out with because in 3rd grade he had fallen off his bike and then scraped up his hands and then tried to touch Annie when he was bleeding and that was so disgusting and bad because he could've gotten an infection that way or had touched Annie with blood and that thought was enough to make her feel woozy and sick.

"I'll have to decline, Mrs. Sherman. I'm kind of already seeing someone." Annie said, with a dismissive wave of the hand.

"Lucky boy! Well, anyways, I'll leave you two to your shopping." Mrs. Sherman said before flouncing away. Annie released a sigh of relief, while her mother nudged her side.

"Since when are you seeing someone?" She asked her and Annie cleared her throat. "Is it that boy you were telling me about before?"

"Mom, you're being embarrassing." Annie said, her ears heating up.

"Will you at least tell me his name?" Her mother asked and Annie couldn't help but feel her lips tug up into a smile.

"His name is Finn, and you are not allowed to Facebook stalk him!" She said, attempting to snatch her mother's phone from her as her mom had begun typing something into her Facebook App.

"Alright, alright. But you do realize I'll have to meet him eventually." Her mother informed her, "Why don't you invite him to dinner?"

"What? With Kai and his girlfriend? He already thinks that I get all of the attention. I can't undermine this for him." Annie said with a sigh. "Besides, he's really busy with swim team. His championship is right around the corner. I'm sure he'll be at practice."

"You're a good girl." Her mother said, putting her arm around Annie's shoulders. "And the offer stands if you change your mind."

"Thanks." Annie said, as her mom squeezed her arms but not so tightly that she could possibly bruise Annie because bruising was veins bursting and internal bleeding.

"Now, let's go check out." Her mother said with a smile.

* * *

There were a few things that Annie learned about Finnick, pretty much off the bat.

Firstly, he hated wearing shoes and socks, and would've been completely content with walking around with sandals on in the middle of winter. He pretty much had the same opinion on shirts, but for the sanity of the female gender around opted to keep those on. When Annie asked him about it, Finnick told her it was just because he had grown up in Florida, and essentially lived on the beach.

Secondly, he was a night owl who was essentially forced into early-bird habits. Finnick had 6:15 morning practice every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and an 8:00 AM Saturday practice that all lasted approximately two hours give or take, and had weight lifting on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 7:45 for exactly one hour and on Sunday from 10:30 to 12:30. Then of course there was second practice which normally occurred later on in the day. And so as a result, he was constantly napping in between. Often times, just falling asleep at the most random times in the most random places.

Thirdly, because of his rigorous workout schedule, he was constantly eating anything and everything he could get his hands on. It was almost unheard of to find Finnick without having him chewing on something.

And finally, when he wasn't busy working out, Annie could find him in his apartment, bare feet up on his coffee table, and playing video games.

7:01.

Playing Fifa was what Finnick was currently doing, brow knitted in intensity as Annie rolled her eyes and nudged a sock that was laying on the carpet alone which was driving her crazy because socks needed to be matched otherwise how would he know which one was which?

"Finnick, when was the last time you cleaned?" She asked, arms crossed. She knew it hadn't been for a while, and even though it wasn't like he needed to clean all the time because unlike Annie he was healthy but he still needed to clean on occasion.

"Uuuuh…normally Peeta does that." Finnick said mashing the buttons on his controller, "Yes, yes, come on! Come on!"

Annie walked up behind him, putting her arms on his shoulders, squeezing them and kissing his neck four times because four was a good even number and it wasn't excessive and prime like five.

"Well I admire his patience," Annie cooed, running her hands down his front, causing him to go basically rigid, "But you want to know what I can't wait for?"

"Um, uh-" Finnick half stuttered before Annie yanked the controller out of his hand, pressed the pause button and pinched his cheek.

"I can't wait for you to get up and help me clean your apartment. Come on, get up." Annie said pushing him up, and Finnick groaned.

"Damn you." He said, giving her a fake-pointed look. "Fine, I'll clean with you and then I'll make it up by totally kicking your gorgeous butt in Just Dance."

"You think you can beat me in Just Dance?" Annie asked as she raised her eyebrow. "Yeah right."

"I have two younger sisters. I've honed my skills." Finnick said, striking a Kung-Fu pose. "Be prepared, young grasshopper."

"Well sensei, I highly doubt the man who can barely walk in a straight line sober can beat me at dancing." Annie said, sticking her tongue out and Finnick laughed before grabbing the vacuum from the closet.

"We'll just have to see about that." Finnick said, tossing her the Swiffer before grabbing the end of the vacuum and jabbing it in her direction, "En guard!"

"Touché." Annie said, smacking it with the Swiffer wet jet but not too hard or else it might knock the vacuum out of Finnick's hand and land on him and bruise him before beginning to clean.

Annie mopped around the giant rug and the TV and the couch, picking up disgusting amounts of grime, making sure go around each landmark four times exactly and to tap each thing twice with her pointer and middle finger as she went around. Then she tossed the used wet towels, and then went on to dusting. She dusted all the surfaces from right to left and from down to up, making sure to replace all of the knick knacks she moved to the place she had found them so she didn't misplace them and Finnick and his roommate could find them.

The kitchen was clean, and Finnick mentioned that his roommate kept the kitchen clean and organized as he had grown up in a bakery or something of the sort. After mopping the floor and the counters, she walked into the bathroom. She nudged the dirty laundry out of the bathroom, before mopping down the tiles, pulling out the basket full of cleaning supplies before cleaning the counter and the sink.

The medicine cabinet was open. Revealing the usual sorts of things one would expect to find. Bottles of shampoo and conditioner, shaving cream, razors still in their packages. She was thankful for that because razors left unattended could rust and if Finnick or his roommate weren't up to date on their shots they could get tetanus. She spied bottles of Advil, ibuprofen, Benadryl, and an orange bottle or pills that for some reason stood out ominously. They looked normal enough, but vaguely familiar.

7:22.

She closed the cabinet, not seeing anything that needed to be cleaned or organized. Then she reached down to the first drawer. Annie could barely stop her laughter as she saw it nearly overflowing with condoms and about five different flavors of lube.

"What are you-Shit! Shit!" Finnick yelped, reaching over to slam the cabinet close. His face went bright red as she held up one of the packets between her pointer and her middle finger.

"Expecting a fun and eventful night?" Annie teased him waving the condom in his face and he cracked a smile.

"Haha, oh yes. I'm throwing a wild orgy. Make sure you're here at ten o'clock sharp." Finnick said with that wide dimpled smile of his, snatching the condom from her grip.

"I'll keep that in mind." Annie said smiling up at him as he tossed the condom in the drawer before closing it. It was suddenly then that his whole nature changed, his shoulders straightened up, his eyes looked almost deeper and sad, and his mouth was curled into a rare frown. The change was so sudden that Annie couldn't be sure of whether what she had seen before, the smiling-laughing Finnick even existed in the first place, and it was so very concerning because had she teased him too much and was he upset at her? It had to be her fault that he was this way because Finnick was always smiling. It was her fault, she needed to go home. She needed to leave because she was hurting Finnick and onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnine eight is good, seven is bad because it is odd and prime, but nine is okay because it is divisible by three.

"I haven't, you know?"

"Haven't what?" Annie asked, startled out of her racing thoughts.

"I haven't done it with anyone else. Not since before our first date." Finnick admitted seriously.

"Oh." Annie said, because what else could she say? They hadn't really named what their relationship was. And she knew Finnick's reputation, so she wouldn't have been surprised if he had. So this was definitely news to her.

"I'm not going to lie. I've fucked a lot of girls, and I'm not exactly proud of it. I guess you could say I've got commitment issues or some shit. It's easier to fuck for a night then try to make it work, right?" Finnick said almost bitterly, "I'm not perfect. Not by a long shot. But…I'm trying. I want to make this work between us."

"Why? Why me?" Annie asked because she was honestly curious because what on Earth did he see in her? What was so great about a girl who couldn't even look at her own hands without seeing the millions upon billions of germs that only harmed others? What was so fun about someone who couldn't even handle even the slightest deviation of plans and was absolutely stuck in her routine because she couldn't escape or else the world she had meticulously rebuilt would fall apart like a house of cards and she would never be able to build it back up again?

"Because…we get along." Finnick said, "You get the fact I have a rigorous schedule, and don't try to smother me or complain about it but just accept that I can't always hang out or answer your texts. You're kind of a nerd, like me. We both like the same kinds of movies and foods, and just like hanging out without the pomp and circumstance. You call me out on my shit. You laugh at my stupid jokes. And because you always try to help me, unless I tell you I don't need help and then you give me space until I realize that yes, I do need help because I'm absolute shit at math."

Finnick ran a hand through his hair, looking completely frustrated.

"Ugh, I'm totally fucking this up." He groaned, "What I'm trying to say is that I really like you. Like, a lot. I want to be someone important to you."

"You already are." Annie informed him. "Am I someone important to you?"

"Yeah." Finnick answered as if caught off guard.

"Well, then I guess we're all good then." Annie said, standing up on her tippy toes and craning her neck. Finnick ducked down and caught her lips with his. She trailed her hand along his jaw, feeling his scruff. He had mentioned before that he had to stop shaving before championships, but she didn't really mind. Annie personally thought his start of a beard was adorable. Annie curled her arms around his neck and sighed against his mouth as he pressed his hands to her hips.

"You're the best Annie." He murmured, squeezing her close in a tight hug.

"You know it." She joked lightly, resting her head against his chest. Annie was struck again by the overwhelming fact that she was so little in comparison to him, but he had only been gentle to her.

"Hey Finn! I'm back!" A male voice called, and Finnick gave her a smile before walking out of the bathroom, with her following behind him.

7:34.

"Hey Peeta." Finnick greeted the young man. He was their age, a bit stockier in form with bright blue eyes and the palest blonde hair she had ever seen. The smile that graced his lips was the epitome of warmth, and he smiled with his whole self. He seemed to be one of those people that could make you feel like you were the most important person in the room with just a single look.

"You must be Annie. It's really nice to meet you." He said, sticking out his hand and Annie just smiled and tried to take it without feeling her skin crawl because no one should ever want to touch her hands but she couldn't stop the overpowering urge to run back into the bathroom and scrub and scrub and scrub.

"Hi…Peter?" Annie asked and Peeta laughed, obviously not off-put by her mistake.

"Peeta, like the bread. My family owns a bakery. My two older brothers are Rye and Bannock." Peeta explained, "My mom is a little wacky."

"I see." Annie said, trying to contain her laughter.

"Don't be fooled by his sweet expression. Peeta's a bulldog on the football field. No one can tackle like this guy." Finnick teased and Peeta gave him a boyish grin in response.

"Well, excuse me if I don't spend all my day trying to look pretty in the pool." Peeta shot right back, taking off his jacket and hanging it on the coat rack before untying his well-used shoes. He had a duffle bag that smelt like locker room (man musk, bad deodorant, and sweat), and Annie vaguely hoped he would throw its contents in the washing machine because that sort of scent could make anyone feel slightly nauseous.

"It's not called being pretty it's called having technique, you asshole." Finnick laughed, elbowing Peeta in the side. Peeta gave him a little bit of a shove.

"In any case, the place actual looks clean for once. Annie, you must be a miracle worker. In return I'm going to have to make you guys dinner." Peeta announced, "How do you guys feel about pasta?"

"I say, hell to the yes." Finnick said with a smile.

"That sounds good to me." Annie said trying to muster up a smile of her own, because she was going to have to try to eat with the forks and plates and drink with the glasses here that she wasn't sure had been washed because it wasn't her house and she couldn't help the uncomfortable twisting in her gut.

"Hey Peeta? I'm going to run the dishwasher too if you don't mind." Finnick offered and Peeta nodded before turning to the kitchen.

"Yeah, of course." Peeta said, as he began to pull out ingredients. Finnick suddenly bent down and kissed her cheek, and whispered.

"I told you already, tell me when you're uncomfortable. I got you." He told her softly, and Annie was dumbfounded because how could he have guessed? Unless he was far more intuitive then she gave him credit for.

That's when it came back to her. That super cliché thing that her mother had said about the "right one". Annie didn't know if Finnick was the one, but he was the kindest, nicest, most wonderful guy she had ever met. He was considerate and always helpful, and she at least owed it to herself to give whatever they had a real shot and not hold back like she always did in fear, because what they had was worth the chance. Besides, who knew what was to come, but at least she could say she had given it her all and not live with any regrets.

And after all, fuck what her brother was going to say.

"Hey, Finn. On Thursday, do you want to come over and meet my family over dinner?" Annie nearly choked out around the lump in her throat.

"Meet a bunch of people related to you? Hell yes. Sign me up." Finnick said with a brilliant smile. "Hey, Peeta! What should I wear when I meet Annie's parents?"

"Clothes would be preferable." Peeta called back.

"No dude, I was going to walk in there with just my speedo on." Finnick scoffed with a roll of the eyes before joining Peeta in the kitchen.

[Annie Cresta to Mom]: Hey mom, so would it be possible for my guy to come over for dinner?

[Mom to Annie Cresta]: Of course! Does he like steak? P.S. I knew this would happen.

[Annie Cresta to Mom]:…Shut up.

* * *

Ashley was leggy, blonde (though judging by her roots Annie guessed that Ashley was just about as blonde as Annie was), and was obviously one of those "popular" girls who liked bad boys. Even though Kai was just as "bad" as a puppy, he certainly did look the part with his black tee-shirt, ripped jeans, skater shoes, and snapback and definitely had the right attitude. Annie realized that it really was just about appearances, so maybe it wasn't so bad. She was polite enough with her parents, though she cast Cora some rather dirty looks. Annie chalked that up to the fact that Cora was perhaps one of the most gorgeous girls in Panem. Cora was tall and curvy and confident, with perfect style, perfect make up, studying for a great job, and had an amazing personality on top of it all. And Ashley pretty much ignored Annie all throughout the time she had been present in the house, which was fine by Annie, because she guessed that Kai had told her just not to bother with her.

Annie was doing fine with holding back her nerves, half listening to Ashley talk about her position on the student council at their school when the doorbell rang. Annie jumped out of her seat, not even waiting for anyone to say anything before racing to the door tapping under every doorway she went through. She paused, only to take a relaxing breath and tapping on the doorway and then opened it.

5:52.

Added up to twelve, and twelve was a very good number because it could be divided by so many other good numbers. Things were looking up. Hopefully this would go as good as she hoped and her parents would like Finnick, because the idea of them not liking Finnick was nearly impossible to think about because her parents meant everything to her and she wanted their approval more than anything.

"Why, hello there." Finnick greeted before jokingly saying, "Did someone order a pizza?"

"Haha, really funny." Annie said, swallowing nervously because Finnick looked good. Amazingly good. He hadn't shaved, obviously, but under his jacket he was wearing a blue striped button up and black jeans that fit his legs snugly and nicer shoes. He didn't look like he was trying too hard, but then again he always looked like he had just fallen out of an Alexander McQueen catalog.

"Don't be nervous." Finnick said with a gentle smile, tugging her hair that was in her pony tail playfully. "You're making me nervous. You're parents aren't going to kill me are they?"

"No-"

"Well hello there." Cora called from down hall, making Annie jump. She sauntered right up, hands on her hips, and gave Annie her shit-eating grin. "My, my, my. Annie, who is this?"

Before Annie could stutter out something, Finnick just gave Cora a stunningly suave smile.

"Hello," Finnick purred, "I'm Finn Nicholas O'Daire Jr. Though those acquainted with me called me Finnick. I'm the extremely handsome and lovable gentleman caller who's been courting your sister."

Cora's eyebrows shot up, and she obviously tried to contain her laughter as she called down the hall,

"Mom, Dad, Annie's boytoy is here." Cora announced to the whole world and Annie grabbed a nearby shoe and threw it at her, which Cora avoided, stuck her tongue out, and ducked back into the kitchen.

"Such a brat." Annie muttered collecting the shoe and depositing it with its pair so it wouldn't get lost because one shoe without the other wasn't right, "She acts like she's nine!"

"So I'm guessing that's Cora." Finnick said as he popped off his shoes without untying them and motioned to the coat hanger, "Can I hang my jacket here?"

"Wait, those are the parkas." Annie said, opening the closet by the door. All of the jackets were organized by color because that was much neater and she absolutely despised it when Kai and Ashley had just thrown their jackets on the basket with the gloves and hats because that wasn't neat or organized. So she placed Finnick's leather jacket with the rest of the brown jackets.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Finnick asked and Annie nodded as they walked down the hall. "This might be the first time I've ever met a girl's parents like this and I'm really nervous. Stop me if I say something stupid."

"This is the first time that I've introduced a boy to my parents like this. Stop me if I say something stupid." Annie whispered to him conspiratorially, and Finnick chuckled back.

5:54.

Ashley's jaw nearly dropped at the sight of Finnick, and Kai's face immediately turned a shade of red in anger. Her father looked at him amused from behind his glasses, her mother laughed, and Cora just looked pleased.

Annie's dad got up, first to break the spell and stuck out his hand which Finnick took. It was almost comical to see them stand next to each other. Annie didn't come from a very tall family. Her father was barely five foot nine, her mom was just about five foot two, Kai at this point was just about her father's height and Cora was just about an inch shorter than that. Finnick's gigantic form was almost overwhelming in the room.

"You must be the boy my wife's been talking about. I'm Daniel Cresta." Her father introduced calmly. Annie's dad was always like that. He was soft spoken, kind, gentle, and a subscriber of the keep-calm-and-carry-on outlook on life. Nothing really phased him all that much.

"Finn O'Daire. But everyone always calls me Finnick." He introduced, "It's really nice to meet you, sir."

"Oh my God, you're that Finn O'Daire aren't you? The swimmer who's going to Olympic trials and is set to make it?" Ashley squealed, "Ohmygod! Kai, why did you not tell me your sister knew Finn O'Daire?"

"Because this is all news to me." Kai sneered. "So this is the guy you met up with the other day?"

"Kai, would it kill you to be civil?" Her mother said exasperated, before smiling gently. "I'm Laurie Cresta. I can't say my daughter's told me much about you, because she likes to keep things private, but I'm certainly glad to meet you as well."

"I'm glad to meet you too." Finnick said, taking her hand gently, as if she was something he might break. Her mother and father smiled at each other and there was something Annie couldn't place in Finnick's expression. A sort of distant longing, as if her parents had something that Finnick desperately wanted.

6:02.

Annie wondered vaguely what it could be as the oven timer rang and Annie's mom announced dinner was ready.

* * *

"So Finnick, tell me what your majoring in?" Her dad asked Finnick over dinner as Finnick ate happily, shoveling in the food with gusto. He had been gushing over the home cooked meal with such fervor that it nearly made everyone laugh previously, but was now content to stuff his face with as much food he could get his hands on. But that's just how Finnick was, he was personable, capable of nearly perfect charm and manners when he wanted to be, but childlike the rest of the time. But both her parents didn't seem to mind Finnick's childish side and were still very much under his spell.

And her parents weren't the only ones. Ashley was currently drooling over Finnick, with the intensity of the Finn Fan Club at school. As a result Kai was currently glaring at his mashed potatoes, and Cora and Annie both tried not to be too obvious in their amusement. Though Annie should feel bad about stealing Kai's thunder, she was more than glad she had brought Finnick over to meet her parents. She hadn't expected them to get on as well as they did without a tiny bit of awkwardness, but as far as she could tell it was all working out.

"Secondary Education with a focus on history." Finnick explained and Ashley frowned.

"Aren't you going to the Olympics?" Ashley asked and Finnick's shoulders tensed for just a moment.

"Well, I would like to think I am. But, it's always good to get a degree." Finnick explained lightly.

"Are your studies difficult with all of the travels?" Her mother asked worriedly.

"The school has very good resources for tutoring." Finnick said giving her side a little nudge, which made Annie nudge right back though not to hard or else she might knock something over and spill it over her mother's nice tablecloth and that would make Annie feel so guilty because she only brought it out for special occasions and she was pushing herself because her plate and glass and silverware hadn't been sterilized and she itched to tear the glass of water out of Finnick's grasp and run back to the kitchen and scrub it because this was where Annie lived and Annie was unclean and what if she got Finnick sick by having just been around his plates and forks and cups?

6:43.

Annie must have lost track of the conversation because suddenly she heard Finnick say in a loud whisper jokingly,

"And to tell you the truth, I rely on Annie quite a bit. She's a lot smarter than I am."

"Oh, come on." Annie said with a roll of her eyes trying to figure out what they had been talking about but not having a clue. "You're very smart. You got an A in your English and History classes last semester, didn't you?"

"You don't actually need to know what you're doing in English and History." Finnick pointed out and she snorted.

"Well you need to put in the effort, and you definitely do. Don't let him talk himself down. He's the hardest worker I know." Annie said with a roll of her eyes, being very careful to cut the steak into tiny pieces so she wouldn't take too big of a bite and cause it to get lodged in her throat and restrict her airways and cause her to choke and she just say herself falling the ground again and again so she added a bit more force to her chopping. Her steak was on her main plate, and she had a bowl of mash potatoes on one side, and broccoli on the other, with exactly one ladle full of cheese sauce on the broccoli. She made sure to wipe her fork carefully and to alternate what was in front of her each time, so that it would mix because that was contaminating which was bad and made her feel uncomfortable even thinking about it.

"And exhibit A of why I like Annie, she knows how to stroke my ego." Finnick said, with a wink, and Annie felt her lips tug up into a smile.

For the rest of dinner, Finnick indulged her parents questions on where he was from (Florida), why he came to school at Panem U (he was recruited to come here, and just came to love the atmosphere), what his parents did (His mother was a doctor and his father was a real estate agent), did he have other siblings (two younger sisters named Brooke and Adrianne who were six and four respectively), how old he was (Twenty), and what sports teams he followed (his admittance of liking the Miami Heat might have certainly been the only thing her father disapproved of the entire night).

After that the entire family plus Ashley and Finnick sat in the living room and talked about normal things. Annie couldn't help but notice how happy it all seemed to make him, the total mundane nature of her family…well, for the exception of her. Ashley, having realized that she couldn't catch Finnick's attention announced she would be going home, and Kai who looked as pissed off as usual drove her back.

8:12.

Finnick got up, wiping his hands on his pants.

"Thank you so much for tonight but I think it's time I went home." He said, and Annie didn't want him to go but she had to start her routine if she was going to go to bed that night at a reasonable time because even though she knew what to do (onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnine eight is good, seven is bad because it is odd and prime, but nine is okay because it is divisible by three, and then she would make the bed, with her sheets and covers, put away her clothes, put on her robe and grab her towel, she wash her hair right to left and her body from down to up because that was right and dry from down to up and brush her teeth and floss and use Listerine and then she would wash her hands and get dressed in her pjs and then she would go to bed) she had to give herself time to make mistakes so she could redo her ritual or else she would lay in bed as the mind-wasps stung her brain and refused to let her rest in peace and her father took Finnick's hand again in a firm shake, and to his obvious surprise Annie's mother hugged him, which he woodenly returned.

"Feel free to come over any time. I know that sometimes it's nice to get away from the college, and it's hard to get to Florida. A home cooked meal is always good for an athlete as well." Her mother told him gently, and Finnick looked touched.

"Thank you." He said honestly.

"I'll show him out." Annie said, and her family turned to start cleaning up as Annie showed him down the hall, letting him get his shoes and jacket and then opening the door and following him out. She was surprised by his lips on hers, the spontaneous passion that sent shivers of delight down her spine as he half-pressed her to the door, hips pressed flush against each other, little moans coming from both of them as Annie tugged at his hair and Finnick grasped her hips firmer.

They pulled back, both equally breathless as Annie leaned against the door for support.

"Tonight was…awesome." Finnick admitted after catching his breath, "Your family is perfect."

"It's far from perfect." Annie teased him before saying honestly, "But…it's alright. I wouldn't change a thing…except for my brother's attitude."

"Hey Annie?" Finnick asked and Annie blinked.

"What?" She said, and he gave her the most tender, loving smile she could imagine as his eyes lit with warmth and pure bliss.

"Have a good night. Sleep well." He wished her and she jumped up to kiss his cheek.

"Have a good night too. Drive safe." Annie said, and just as Finnick was halfway down the path to the drive way she called, "And, the offer is real. If you ever want to come over here, at all, you can."

"Alright!" Finnick called, waving his arm.

"Oh, and one more thing!" Annie said, gathering up her courage, "Will you be my boyfriend?"

Finnick pivoted, trying to turn around before tripping over his own feet and falling on his ass into the snow with a yelp. Annie laughed as she rushed over to him, where he was splayed out, making a snow angel as his face burned. He reached up and pulled her into a hug right there in the snow getting her totally wet and cold but Annie didn't mind one bit.

"Only if you'll be my girlfriend." Finnick teased.

Annie smiled.


	6. Serpent Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "However, having lived in a world so out of her control for most of her life, she just wanted to be able to be in command of herself." A young woman living and struggling with OCD, falls in love with a young man chasing his dreams. But life isn't as simple as just that. Modern AU Odesta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this chapter and for the story in general, I think it's important to understand that maybe, perhaps, the story is being told through the lens of an unreliable narrator. Just some food for thought.   
> In any case, keep being awesome my friends! You guys are always a delight! :)

On their eleventh date, Finnick's mouth tasted like red velvet cake.

Annie didn't know what was so different about Finnick. Annie normally wasn't the biggest fan of sugary things. They made her feel ill because sugar wasn't good for people in large amounts, and could cause obesity and damage to the liver that could end up with diabetes. However, after Finnick had taken her to an extremely wonderful, but very expensive restaurant, and had indulged in dessert as he usually did and Annie couldn't get enough of the taste that lingered upon his lips as they kissed on his couch.

Annie had her hand resting on his jaw, feeling the beard that Finnick was growing. That was the thing about Finnick, he looked gorgeous no matter what he was wearing or freshly shaved or with scruff. He was just…perfect. And he definitely was also perfect at kissing, she thought as she felt him touch the small of her back, the other hand resting on her thigh as he continued to kiss her slowly and luxuriously.

"God, you're gorgeous." He murmured tugging at her hair which she had curled for that night as he kissed her neck, "You look so beautiful in that color."

"You think?" Annie said with a hitched breath, the weight that was always heavy on her heart, the indecisiveness that was always driving her mad was slightly alleviated. At least on that matter. Because that day was a purple day and she didn't own anything dressy enough in purple, she had to go to the mall and buy a cocktail dress. It was a pretty wine purple sheath dress that she had paired with her sister's silver heels and earrings. And at least now that she knew that Finnick liked the color, it made her feel like the mall trip was worth it because a lot of times when she was forced to buy things to fit into her color schedule it made her feel so guilty because she was spending money that could be used on something else to appease her unappeasable compulsions.

"Oh yeah." Finnick chuckled his voice husky as he leaned forward, "I've wanted to take you out of it all night."

"Mmm…did you?" Annie teased wrapping her arms around his neck, feeling him pull her closer on the couch. Her legs were parted, and he pressed her upper body to his as they continued to kiss with more and more heat, as she curled her hands in his hair-

Did she wash her hands?

Suddenly her mind was racing. Had she washed her hands? When was the last time she had washed her hands? Had she made sure to wash her hands with exactly two pumps of antibacterial soap and lather and rinse twice making sure to get under her nails? Oh God had she been touching his face with her dirty hands and who knows what sort of bacteria was on them-

She tore her mouth away from his and scooted away.

"I'm sorry-I'm sorry I-I-"

"Annie, woah. Hold your horses." Finnick said trying to calm her down. "Where's the fire? What's wrong?"

"I don't remember." She said, "Oh God, I don't remember when I last washed my hands."

"At the restaurant." Finnick said, "Before we left you went to the bathroom."

She remembered. She went to the bathroom, making sure to wash her hands and scrub until her hands were almost raw. Relief welled up in her, despite how guilty she felt that she had just completely ruined the mood. It was better to feel guilty then to give Finnick an illness during the competition season, the final meet of which was going to be in New Jersey but she couldn't travel even though she wanted too. Annie was in the middle of taking deep calming breaths like her therapist told her too when Finnick gave a sad sort of smile.

"How about we call it a night?"

7:49.

No. No she did not want to call it a night. She wanted to pull his face back to hers and kiss him furiously until her legs went numb and she was dizzy from lack of air. She wanted him to press her underneath him, to slide his fingers across her skin like he had been. Annie wanted Finnick to do more. She wanted more. But she had already ruined the mood, and she was embarrassed. So embarrassed in fact she thought she might cry, because she was so stupid and weird and crazy and she had promised herself she wouldn't. But it wasn't fair. Annie just couldn't hold back from all of the disappointment she had been feeling. And like always, Finnick caught on immediately as she sniffed.

"Annie?" Finnick asked, voice squeaking. "Are you crying?"

"No." Annie lied as her voice cracked just like her, her mind was fractured and her head just didn't work right and that's why she couldn't go five minutes without ruining everything. So she turned away and she wiped her face, probably smudging her makeup. "No, y-your right. I-I should go home. I should just go home because I can't go anywhere without making a scene."

"Aw shit. Ann, I'm sorry." Finnick said trying to pull her back to him, and at first she tried to pull away but eventually just cocooned herself in Finnick's arms as he rocked her back and forth like a tired child. "I'm sorry I was short with you. I just…thought for a second that you were just making up an excuse to stop. Not that it matters because we can stop whenever you want it's just-"

"I'm not that upset. Really." Annie hiccupped into his shoulder.

"Well you're at least a little upset." Finnick said, kissing her hairline.

"I'm just having a low day." Annie tried to explain. "And I was finally feeling happy when I went and ruined it."

"You didn't ruin anything." Finnick told her firmly. "I'm the one who was a douche. I'm still glad to be here, with you. But listen, I don't think either of us is in the right place to be making out on my couch."

"What place are you at right now?" Annie asked and Finnick gave her a secretive smile.

"The sort of…in-between place. Not that that makes sense even at all. Makes sense even at all? God, English. Do I speak English?" Finnick struggled and Annie couldn't help but roll her eyes.

"It's fine." Annie said tiredly, leaning against him, hoping to rekindle some of his heat but she could already tell it was a lost cause, because Finnick's hands didn't rest on her thighs but rather on the floral print of the couch.

"It's alright."

"I'm sorry." Annie apologized, for what, Annie didn't really know. But she was so sorry. Finnick just smiled a little sadly at her.

"I told you already, it's alright." Finnick said, touching her face as if she were a porcelain doll. All finger tips grazing skin, with no passion or hunger. For a moment Annie wondered if he could hunger for her in the way she hungered for him, because she knew that she adored everything about him, she wanted all of him in every way possible. But it just didn't seem like her dreams would ever come true.

8:03.

Annie went home.

* * *

Annie didn't really know what possessed her to try to ruin her day, but she decided to go on a google search adventure anyways.

Normally Annie tried to avoid googling her difficulties. Most the time she ended up on Web MD, with her subconscious tricking itself that it had some inoperable kind of cancer or some rare genetic disorder. Most of the stuff online was pretty much worthless anyways because when it came to her disorders she already knew everything like the back of her hand and knew in theory how to deal with it (because in practice it was a lot easier said than done). Annie had never come across any sort of Chicken Soup for the Depressed Anxious OCD Woman's Soul, but for whatever reason she decided that she wanted to try google searching to see if she could find any tips for people like her who were trying to be in relationships.

So, she google searched: OCD and relationships.

The first link was of course her usual nemesis Web MD. Second was a link from ocduk highlighting different types of OCD which she already knew about. Thirdly was of course Wikipedia with a page on Relationship obsessive-compulsive disorder which Annie didn't have, she had contamination OCD with a side of intrusive thoughts and that was all she wanted to have to deal with thank you. Then she finally saw a link that looked slightly promising, with the title of Overcome the impact of OCD on Your Relationship.

What she found was definitely anything but that.

_My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months and I love him, but his OCD really wreaks havoc on our relationship. It's just so frustrating that he's always so overwhelmed…_

_Just keeps breaking up with me, telling me he's not sure I'm the one…_

_I just don't think I can keep going like this. It's just not healthy because neither of us is really happy at all anymore…_

_…Counting numbers of letters in the words I say has definitely stifled my love life. So here I am, forever single._

Frustrated, Annie pressed the back button until she arrived at the homepage on google.

Why had she even bothered with that in the first place? Annie asked herself with a sigh. But she already knew the answer was that she had a penchant for making herself miserable. It was like the previous night, just as she had finally been getting somewhere she ruined it for herself with her stupid anxiety and she hated it and was so goddamn frustrated that her hand were shaking and she tapped the leg of the table she was sitting at in the library but it just wasn't working. So, she got up and began to pack up her things. Each pen she had used was firmly capped, and each mechanical pencil's lead was retracted before being counted. Onetwothreefour black pens and onetwothreefour pencils just like she had come to the library with. They went into her pencil box, before going into their specific place in her bag. Her onetwothreefour notebooks went were placed back in order Computer Science, English, Math, Theatre, then her lap top which was powered down, wiped quickly with a sanitary napkin, before being placed back into her laptop case which was also wiped down before being placed in her bag carefully. She zipped up her bag from right to left, never from left to right that just felt wrong. And then she wiped her hands with cleansing wipes, because she didn't want her skin to dry out so fast.

4:56.

Annie normally should be studying in the library until it was 6:45, but today was just not happening. Annie was just too anxious now, and she was just planning on heading home just like she always did making sure to follow the speed limit and to park her car in her spot and to tap the tire with her foot two times exactly. She had just walked out of the library when she heard a voice call her name,

"Hey Annie!" Peeta Mellark called to her, blonde curls bouncing and blue eyes alight and Annie waved back shyly.

"Hey Peeta, how are you?" Annie asked and he smiled.

"Good, just finished my lift for the day. How are you?" Peeta asked curiously and Annie gave a weak smile.

"Not as well as I would like." Annie admitted, and Peeta frowned before opening his bag and pulling out a paper bag with the Mellark's logo on it.

"I was saving these for later, but I think giving them to you would serve the common good." Peeta said with a smile, "My dad's famous cheese buns."

"Wait, your dad is the Mr. Mellark? Owner of Mellark's bakery?" Annie asked surprised and Peeta's smile went even larger as his chest puffed out in pride.

"Yep! That's my dad! I'm taking business courses so I can inherit the bakery." Peeta explained, "Also art courses…because that's my second passion. But in any case, take them. My dad's cheese buns work wonders."

"I really couldn't…"

"Oh you really could."

"Thank you. But in any case that's amazing." Annie said honestly as she took the bag, "I don't have a creative bone in my body, so I really look up to artistic people."

"I'm sure that isn't true." Peeta said before asking, "You heading home?"

"I don't know. I guess." Annie said quietly as she began to walk to her car, Peeta walking with her.

5:02.

5:02 added up to seven which odd and prime and was a bad number and she should not leave campus on a bad number. Annie should be studying until 6:55 and then onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnine eight is good, seven is bad because it is odd and prime, but nine is okay because it is divisible by three, she would go home and then she would make the bed, with her sheets and covers, put away her clothes, put on her robe and grab her towel, she would wash her hair right to left and her body from down to up because that was right and dried from down to up and brush her teeth and floss and use Listerine and then she would wash her hands and get dressed in her pjs. Annie should be doing that but she was so anxious that she just couldn't sit in that damn library anymore and look at homework that she had already done because there was no amount of math problems she could do to solve her problems and it killed her on the inside.

"Don't just guess." Peeta said, "Listen, everyone has their down days. Just keep picking yourself up, and keep trucking along. No matter what's going on, everything will get better eventually."

"You're a really nice guy, Peeta." Annie told him honestly.

"Don't worry about it." Peeta said ruffling her hair, making her swat at him. "Also, by the way, talk to Finnick today. He was all mopey, and he only ever gets like that when he's made you upset."

"He didn't make me upset." Annie said with a sigh, "I made myself upset."

"Finnick still blames himself." Peeta said, "I think he does that for a lot of things. He bottles everything up until he just bursts. It's not healthy."

Finnick bottled? Annie thought about that for a moment. That did make sense. They were very close to being opposites where most things were concerned. It shouldn't be surprising that while Annie was a giant open book with her feelings basically tattooed to her forehead, Finnick held everything inside. She had seen it too. When things obviously bothered him, he shied away from it or just didn't talk or redirected conversation. Annie had just never had the courage to continue to push him, just like she didn't have the courage to do a lot of things.

But if she didn't want her relationship to end up like one of those anonymous people online, she would have to start mustering her courage up soon. Annie needed to at least try her hardest so she wouldn't have regrets with this, because God knows she had regrets about everything constantly.

5:06.

"Annie, aren't you just a freaking hottie magnet lately?" A voice Annie knew very well called from the side and she felt and arm wrap around her neck and squeeze.

"Johanna! Get off! Can't breathe!" She whined as Johanna smiled devilishly at her.

"What kind of medication you on, Crazy? It's doing wonders for your pheromones." Johanna teased and Annie pushed Johanna off of her with a huff as Katniss and Madge caught up to them. Annie immediately noticed the blush that stained Peeta's cheeks as he watched Katniss walked up, playing with the end of her braid.

"Hi." He croaked, his voice cracking which only caused him to go a brighter red. Katniss blinked, her expression neutral as always before softening into a tiny smile.

"Hi." She said back.

"Johanna, Katniss, Madge, this is Finnick's roommate Peeta Mellark, Peeta these are my friends." Annie said motioning to each of them in turn, breaking Peeta's obvious internal revelry.

"You an athlete?" Johanna asked with her hands on her hips, "I swear I have seen you before."

"I play football." Peeta said shyly, before giving that million dollar smile of his, "I knew I recognized you from somewhere. You're on the softball team right?"

"You better believe it." Johanna said proudly. "Hey Annie so we were going to swing by Haymitch's. Heard it's going to be fun tonight, and I'm definitely itching for a good time. Do you want to come?"

"Yeah." Annie said, "I would love too. It's been a while."

And that was when she had the brilliant idea as she turned to Peeta to see him still trying not to obviously stare at Katniss, who was oblivious as usual. Annie was always caught in her head, but she was pretty sure she wasn't that oblivious. But Katniss had a lot on her plate, and Annie knew how that could be. So, as Annie good friend should do she nudged Peeta's side.

"Do you want to come Peeta? I'll invite Finnick."

"Yeah!" Peeta said hastily, "I'd really like that. Can you text me or Finnick the details when you get them?"

"Of course."

"See you later then!" Peeta said cheerfully, casting Katniss a final glance before nearly skipping off.

"Doing your civic duty I see." Johanna teased and Annie just smiled at her.

"Just trying to do my best." Annie teased back.

* * *

9:24.

"Damn girl, throwing those back like a champ!" Johanna announced as Madge threw back another shot, wincing before taking a sip of her Gatorade.

"I want to get laid tonight." She announced and Delly whistled appreciatively.

"What happened?" Delly asked, fixing her neon blue bandeau and zipping up her skirt.

"Fucking Gale. He's such an asswipe. I don't even know why I bother with him sometimes." Madge said, swaying slightly.

"Gale is unable to comprehend other people's feelings." Katniss said, "Don't take it too hard."

"Is there any sort of invaluable wisdom you could bestow upon us, oh wise one?" Johanna asked, measuring out a shot of her tropical flavored Smirnoff into a glass. Katniss rolled her eyes.

"He's got only good intentions, but he's too stubborn for his own good. You should've seen it when we were growing up together. When we fought neither of us would speak for days. Our younger siblings would have to play mediator." Katniss said and Madge swiped the shot from Johanna as Johanna finished mixing some sort of cocktail out of Smirnoff and cranberry juice to stick in her bag as she muttered,

"Fucking great." She said as she tossed it back.

"Hey, don't let him get you down. Let's go out and have a blast. Annie, is your boyfriend going to meet us there with his friends?" Delly asked Annie who shrugged.

"As far as I can tell." Annie said, looking down at her phone. They had sort of texted since their argument the other night, the plans of their night clubbing being the most extensive of their talks. "Are you sure you guys don't want me to drive instead of getting a cab?"

"It's too much of a hassle. Besides, we all know how you are with driving and parking." Johanna scoffed.

"Alright, fine." Annie said with a sigh, knowing for a fact that Johanna was right.

"Madge, try to at least appear sober. Everyone else, let's go flag down a cab and get going on this night out!" Johanna announced, and the rest of them grabbed their purses and walked out of their suite and to the elevator.

"So, what's the plan Annie?" Delly asked her and she frowned.

"What?"

"You're totally dressed to kill right now." She gushed and Annie shrugged. That day had been a black day, so she wore her sheer black sleeveless tank, underneath that she wore a black lace bandeau which one of the only things she owned from Victoria's Secret because Victoria's Secret was so expensive and she could get perfectly good bras from TJ Max or Target but her sister had given her a gift card for Christmas and she had tried to use it or else she would feel guilty, and leopard print leggings that had once been a gag gift from Johanna but found use in her going out attire, and five inch black wedge heels. With help from Johanna she had accessorized with a gold necklace and earrings. "You're totally looking to get laid too, aren't you?"

"I'm looking to having a good time." Annie said good-naturedly, internally wondering if she maybe looked like she was trying too hard. God knows she had a hard enough time being sexy. Annie was probably one of the least sexy people she knew. She couldn't even make out with her own boyfriend without ruining it with her magical ability to complete suck the fun out of everything she touched. But she wanted that night to be different. She wanted to get Finnick to stop treating her with little kid gloves and get him to start looking at her like a woman.

"Cheers to that!" Madge slurred, and Katniss had to physically help her stand.

9:37.

Eventually they managed to flag down a cab and get to Haymitch's without Madge pucking all over the place. Haymitch's was a popular club in town, mostly because they had great music, good and inexpensive liquor, and they didn't card at the bar. With Panem being a college town, business was always booming, and on some nights Haymitch stood outside the door with a handle of Jack Daniels and made fun of the most blitzed of the patrons while also making sure they got wherever they needed to go safely. It was safe to say that most of the college kids at Panem U viewed Haymitch as their cool uncle.

And he was out that night, chilling in his lawn chair with his handle and joking with the bouncer. When he saw their group he immediately smiled and raised his handle.

"Hello girls. Sweeheart, if you don't stop pulling that face it'll get stuck like that." Haymitch said as Katniss scowled, before pulling her water bottle out of her purse and sticking it in the cup holder.

"Make sure you don't drink all of that." Katniss told him sternly. "Your liver will give out. Have some water."

"Always knew you were a bleeding heart, sweetheart. Just like her daddy." Haymitch said, "Let them all in. Just take care that Undersee doesn't throw up. I just got the floors clean."

They all gave their thanks to Haymitch, exchanged a brief hello to the bouncer who checked their IDs to affirm they were above eighteen before being let into the club. It was packed with people, the music was so loud that it was actually reverberating in her bones, and it smelt like sweat and cheap vodka.

"Hey Annie, your date is by the bar." Delly giggled and Annie looked over to see Finnick leaning against the bar.

Holy sweet Lord Jesus. She thought, nearly having to fan herself. It's not like he was trying hard at all, he was just wearing a white tee shirt and ripped jeans. But he was just so tall, and muscular, and perfect. Like some sort of Greek sculpture, just too perfect to be real and he was hers and now she just wanted to make him know it.

"I need to go get me a glass of that cool drink of man." Johanna laughed, "So tell me how it is that your boyfriend is friends with the hottest guys on campus?"

"Johanna, you still have that water bottle?" Annie asked, blatantly ignoring her question. Johanna produced the bottle of homemade cocktail that Annie grabbed from her hand, opened, and took a long swig from, letting the liquid courage burn in her throat.

"Damn Annie, way to get spirited!" Johanna hollered, "Alright, let's go get some!"

Annie didn't drink very often. That was a pretty well-known fact. Mostly because A) she was a light weight (literally and figuratively) and B) she was on anti-anxiety medication which heightened the effectiveness of alcohol. Normally she would be going on and on in her head about how when used alone anti-anxiety medications rarely cause overdose, and when those medications mixed with other central nervous system depressants the toxic effects increased which could lead to side effects such as confusion, dizziness, changes in blood pressure, internal bleeding, and liver damage. But at that moment, Annie just wanted to not be like herself for a little bit. To not be totally uptight and party-pooper Annie, and instead be fun and sexy and wild Sophomore Year Annie.

Hopefully Finnick liked her like that.

So she walked over to where Finnick was lounging against the bar, grabbing a few shots on the way. When he saw her he immediately straightened up and looked at her with wide eyes.

"Wow." He said, "Wow, you look amazing."

"Thanks you don't look half bad yourself." She said, feeling warmed all the way through from the liquor. With her heels on she didn't have to crane her neck to kiss him. Good. She hoped to be doing that a lot tonight. He pulled away, looking a little concerned.

"Annie, you taste like vodka." Finnick said, offering the rest of his drink to her which she downed, "I thought you didn't drink."

"I don't." Annie teased before intertwining her fingers with his, "I just wanted a little something. Come on and dance with me."

"You don't need to tell me twice." Finnick laughed in her ears as she tugged his hand onto the dance floor.

His hands were on her hips, pressing her to him. And Annie liked it like that, just like she loved the slow primal rhythm they were grinding too. The room was swelling and contracting, like giant lungs, pressing them closer, just as the crowd all but disappeared when Finnick trailed his mouth down her neck. Annie felt oddly dizzy, and she dimly wondered if she really shouldn't have drank. But then Finnick's hands were on her hips again, hot and calloused and so good, and she didn't even care anymore…

She was playing with the tiny curls on the back of his neck and he had just finished kissing her more as their damp skin was pressed together and he leaned in to say,

"Do you want to get out of here? Come to my place?" He asked, and Annie looked to see Katniss dancing with Peeta, Madge dancing with a boy who wasn't Gale, while Johanna and Delly were nowhere to be seen.

"I should text everyone." She smiled, she hoped because her face was vaguely numb and she couldn't feel it. "Tell them where I'm going."

"Alright, works for me." Finnick laughed right back, "We'll catch a cab."

Annie squinted at her watch, but the roman numerals just weren't making sense. She thought that maybe she could pick out an eleven…

Annie managed to work her fumbling hands long enough to type out a brief message on the group chat, before hand in hand they walked out to catch a cab. When they got in, Finnick settled her on his lap and they kissed even more ravaging the insides of each other's mouths as Annie ran her fingers along the contours of his gorgeous abs, and he slipped his hand under her shirt to grasp her breast through her bra which had her moan into his mouth as her spine erupted into flame.

They kissed more as they got into the elevator, Finnick pressing her against the door and laughing as they nearly fell out when it opened all too soon. And they continued to make out as he opened the door to his apartment. Finally after a few moments and her getting the door closed Finnick pulled his mouth away.

"Why are we stopping?" Annie asked confused because she didn't want to stop anymore. She wanted to do something wild and fun and out of character for once, and forget about her problems and her stupid math test next week and the fact she wasn't sure if she had done her laundry before she left and the fact that no matter how hard she tried, even when she tried to drown herself in vodka, the thoughts just wouldn't stop whirling in her brain making her feel dizzy and sick and completely out of sorts and always remind her that she wasn't in control she was coping and they controlled her every waking moment and she just wanted it to stop for one goddamn second.

"Annie, don't you think this might be…God. I'm going to sound old fashioned or whatever. Listen, you're tipsy right now, I'm tipsy right now. I don't want to do something you'll regret." Finnick said, and Annie shook her head. "Maybe you should just sleep it off."

"Why would I regret having sex with you?" Annie demanded before blurting out, "Finnick, I'm in love with you."

"Wait a second! What?" Finnick asked sounding extremely shocked and to be honest frightened. "Love? Annie, you don't know what you're saying!"

"I know what I'm saying." Annie said, bolstered by her liquid courage because the vodka was making her feelings make so much more sense, and then suddenly getting very pissed off. "Don't talk to me as if I'm hormonal and don't understand my own goddamn feelings. If there's anything I know, it's my feelings. Even if I am crazy."

"You are not crazy." Finnick said firmly, "And I'm not saying you don't know your feelings it's just-"

"No. You are saying that and thinking that." Annie snapped, turning her back and crossing her arms over her chest. "I'm not the virginal little girl everyone seems to think I am. I've been in love before. I know what love is, and what I feel right now is love. If you don't feel that way, fine. Just be honest with me."

"Annie, the one who doesn't know their feelings is me. And right now we shouldn't be having this conversation because you're not totally here." Finnick said, and Annie scoffed.

"Right, because of your 'commitment issues'. Please Finnick, just tell me what your problem is." Annie said using air quotes. "You know what, whatever. I'm going to go home."

"If you think I'm going to let you drive you're even more out of your mind then I think you are."

"Don't belittle me. I was going to catch a cab."

"Don't walk away from me right now." Finnick said sharply. He sounded frustrated, and Annie was glad. For once she could almost see the cracks in his perfection, as if he was a soda can thrown into a fire and just about ready to burst. But for once, maybe she would give him something to chew on.

"Or what? It's not like you'll tell me anyways. You'll just avoid the problem like you always do. Go on then. Tell me. Tell me what your problem is with me telling you that I love you, I want to hear it." Annie demanded and Finnick just stood there, hands balled into fists at his side, face a shade of red, and jaw locked, "That's right. You won't say anything. You don't want to talk about it. That's fine. I get it. Well you know what, I love you. And I'll still love you in the morning, so text me. Or don't. That works too."

Annie stormed out of his apartment, walking down the stairs precariously because she just couldn't seem to get her footing right with those stupid heels and the walls were spinning uncomfortably but she didn't want to take the elevator because she might lose her nerve and turn around and go apologize. But she didn't want to apologize because her heart hurt and her head was killing her and she wanted Finnick to hurt too, just for a little while.

She hailed a final cab home, knowing it wouldn't be safe for her to drive her car back. While she stood on the curb, she let the cold wind bite into her feverish skin.

And like a candlelit flame, she felt the tingle of Finnick's hands on her skin fade away.


	7. Fume of Sighs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "However, having lived in a world so out of her control for most of her life, she just wanted to be able to be in command of herself." A young woman living and struggling with OCD, falls in love with a young man chasing his dreams. But life isn't as simple as just that. Modern AU Odesta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone's had a wonderful spring so far!   
> Trigger warnings for this chapter is that religion is discussed. I always aim to write things that are realistic and human, and nothing is more realistic or human then belief and struggling with that belief. Just keep in mind that these are the character's beliefs, and not meant to make anyone angry.   
> Hope you guys enjoy!

It was 11:01.

11:01 added up to three, which was prime and odd and exactly how she felt. She should have gotten up at 5:21, stripped her bed of the sheets, tapped her bedside table four times with her index and middle finger as each sheet and blanket and pillow case came off, before folding them and placing them in her hamper. And then she should have taken off her pajamas, starting with her shorts, then her tee shirt, followed by her underwear, each folded separately and then placed in her laundry hamper. The she would have picked up her laundry hamper, from its place at the end of the bed, turning it counter clockwise then turning it back and placing it back down. After that she would have chosen what to wear for the day, taking into consideration that that day was a grey day, before taking whatever clothes she didn't decide to wear and put them into the laundry hamper. After that Annie would go to the bathroom and comb her hair thoroughly, taking time to undo every knot, before spraying it in place to reduce flyaway hair. She would wipe down the counter to remove of her stray hair, because stray hair made her feel ill. Then she would take her electric toothbrush, squeezing out a pea sized dollop of tooth paste neatly upon her brush before pulling out her phone and starting her timer. She had to brush for at least one minute and thirty seconds, before flossing each tooth twice and rinsing with Listerine for forty-five seconds. Then Annie would wipe her toothbrush on her specific toothbrush towel, and clean the toothpaste from the tip of the tube, making sure that no toothpaste would congeal there before screwing on the cape and placing it back in its spot before washing her hands thoroughly, scrubbing with exfoliating cream, rinsing, and squirting exactly two pumps of antibacterial soap into her palms, making sure to lather for a count of ten before rubbing over all the surface of her hand, making sure to get under her nails, before rinsing off. Then she would have gone on to eat breakfast, trying to push herself by eating without disinfecting her silverware, and then started her list of other things to do for the day.

But she hadn't done any of those things. Annie was still in bed, curled up under her covers. Her head was pounding, her stomach was churning, and she felt downright ill as disembodied memories tumbled inside of her brain, bobbing in and out of sight like buoys being tossed in the sea during a storm. Fragments of Finnick's hands on her hips, the taste of his mouth as they tumbled out of the elevator, and of course the one memory that she could have done without-her failed confession.

This was what happened when she tried to have fun. Annie thought with a sarcastic laugh that did nothing but cause her temples to throb. She ended up fucking everything up like usual. Annie really could never escape who she was, no matter how hard she tried. Maybe it would be better if she just lived as a hermit from that point on. If the zero texts on her phone said anything about the situation, Finnick probably wouldn't be talking to her anytime soon. The thought that her stupid decisions last night had totally wrecked everything made another torrent of sobs be released from her throat. All Annie could do was cry and just feel sad, which just made her feel even more upset and downright miserable.

"Annie?" A tentative voice came from the door she turned only to see Kai, standing with a glass of apple juice. Annie quickly wiped up her tears and tried to smile.

"Oh, um, hi Kai. Did you need anything?" Annie croaked and he placed the cup of apple juice on her bed stand.

"I thought you were sick…I was thinking that you might need hydration or whatever." Kai said awkwardly.

"Thank you." Annie said, grasping the cup and taking a sip.

"Are you okay?" Kai asked and Annie placed the cup back on the table.

"Let's just say…I didn't have the best night last night." Annie said, "I really screwed up everything."

"Been there, done that, got the tee shirt." Kai said, ruffling her hair and she reached out to punch him in the arm. "Can I get you anything else?"

"Cherry Garcia that's in the freezer."

"Girls." Kai chuckled before suddenly the doorbell rang. "I'll go get that."

`11:04.

Kai walked away, closing the door behind him. Annie lay back down, hearing his footsteps down the hall before the door creaked open.

"Hey, is Annie home?" Finnick's voice asked, causing her to sit up in bed, her heart pounding in her chest. No. No, what was he doing at her house? He hadn't texted or called and she was absolutely sure he was here to make their break up official and she didn't want that at all. He should just go away, let her wallow in one day of misery and try to formulate some sort of excuse before ending it for good.

"I didn't get any memo that you were coming here. Annie sure as hell didn't say anything. So, how about you try again later." Kai said snarkily.

"Listen, I don't know what I ever did to you, but last night Annie and I ended in a bad way, and I need to talk to her." Finnick said, sounding exasperated.

"She's been crying all morning." Kai said, voice nearly dripping with hatred.

"What?"

"My sister, Annie. You know, your girlfriend or whatever? Yeah she's been crying all morning and it's your fault, you dick." He growled, "I think that gives me enough of an excuse to hate you if I didn't dislike you already."

"It's nobody's fault. We both weren't in a good place, I want to make up for that and I came to give her car back. She left her keys and her car at my place." Finnick explained, "And why do you hate me? I haven't done anything to you."

"My sister's gullible." Kai said sharply, "Always believing the best in people. And I mean, she's certifiably loopy. She ends up in the psych ward every five months because she can't handle it. Imagine growing up with that? With your sister that way, and wondering if it will ever be you. It blows. Everyone looks at you like you're some sort of time bomb, or they ignore you because she needs the attention. And sometimes, yeah, she pisses me off with her ridiculous shit. But she's still my sister. I don't care how big you are, if you hurt her like this again I'll kick your ass."

"I never meant to hurt your sister." Finnick said tiredly, "She's too important to me."

"Well you haven't been acting like it, have you? What your stake in this?" Kai demanded, "You don't strike me as the bleeding heart kind of guy. Do you have someone in the family like this? Want to fix all of her problems as a way of justifying."

"Can't I just want to be with Annie because of her amazing laugh, her beautiful smile, and awesome personality?" Finnick said, sounding exasperated, "She just…reminds me of myself."

"Pretty rich boy like my psychotic sister? Yeah, right. Whatever, I don't care. If you want to try making it up to her, start with the Cherry Garcia in the fridge." Kai said, before Annie imagined he stalked off.

She heard some more shuffling downstairs, before footsteps came up the stairs and a knock on the door. She immediately lay back down, her back to the door and pulled up her blankets before calling back,

"Come in."

Finnick opened the door and she turned to look at him. He looked tired, and stressed out. She could tell because his hair was sticking up, meaning that he had been running his hands through it constantly.

"Hey." He greeted awkwardly, thumbing the lid of the ice cream container.

"Hi." She said just as quietly.

"Look, we need to talk." Finnick said and she rolled her eyes as she sat up.

"No. You need to talk, I said all I needed to say yesterday. I need to eat ice cream." Annie said, taking the pint of ice cream from his grasp, "So, talk."

"Are you okay?"

"No. No, I'm not okay." Annie said, "My head hurts, and I generally feel like crap not that you helped that last night."

"Annie, last night you said…you love me." Finnick said slowly as she opened up the pint of ice cream, sitting Indian style on her bed as she took her first spoonful of ice cream.

"Yeah, I remember. And I meant it, still do."

"We've only been going out for two months-"

"You don't need to reciprocate my feelings. I just…wanted to let you know."

"You can't just drop a bomb on me like that without warning!" Finnick said, sounding more annoyed then he ever had, but Annie quirked an eyebrow.

"Without what warning?" Annie asked, "In case you don't remember I've been going out with you for two months. Kissing you for two months. Hanging out with you and going on dates exclusively with you for two months. I even know your regular Chinese takeout order by heart! How this could be a surprise to you is pretty baffling from where I'm sitting. I thought my feelings were pretty clear. It's you I have no clue about."

Annie took his silence as an opportunity to shove another three spoonfuls of ice cream into her face, before he sat down on the bed with her.

11:12.

"You're right." Finnick said, his eyes nearly piercing hers. "You're absolutely right. Listen, I haven't really talked about this with anyone. For a while."

Annie gave him the simple motion to continue with his story, before digging into another bite and he sighed,

"I don't want to sound all…I don't even know. It's just, with my family being what it is, I didn't really grow up with the rose tinted glasses I wish I had. I saw my fair share of relationships going sour. I just didn't want this to go fast because I was scared of that happening to. I just need more time. I'm sorry." Finnick admitted and she nudged his side.

"Good. Finally we're getting somewhere." Annie said with a smile, offering him a spoonful of the ice cream which he ate before making a face.

"Ugh. You actually like this stuff?"

"Don't knock the Cherry Garcia." Annie said with a laugh, before patting his leg. "Listen, I'm okay with that, if that's where you're at right now. But all I wanted was for you to be honest with me."

"You're okay with that?" Finnick said, sounding in shock.

"Yeah. Finnick, I'm a big girl. I can handle it." Annie said with a roll of her eyes.

"Then why have you been crying?"

"Because maybe I wanted to cry." Annie said with a scoff.

"Annie, we both know you hate crying. And also you never eat dessert before an actual meal. And the fact you haven't gotten up." Finnick pointed out, "Is this still…about last night?"

"No!-Yes…maybe."

"Honesty is a two way street…"

"Fine." Annie said, "I'm…embarrassed."

"About…?"

"Well, last night I kind of was wasted and did some things that…weren't really in my character." Annie explained. "And I was also extremely critical of you."

"You were…not in a good place yesterday. I was worried about you." Finnick said, "But I don't regret kissing you like I did. I hope that maybe we can do that when we're both not…like we were."

"Is that a suggestion or a promise?" Annie asked him, dipping her spoon in again.

"Both?"

"Well, maybe not now considering I taste like the ice cream you hate oh so much." Annie teased, letting her tongue sweep off the ice cream on the edge of her spoon, feeling smug as she felt Finnick's gaze lock on her as she wrapped her mouth around the spoon.

"We can work around that." Finnick said, "I'm a big boy. I think I can handle it."

"Really?" Annie asked, eyebrow quirked.

"Let me make it up to you. Whatever you want to do today, I'm on board."

"I want to cuddle, eat ice cream, and watch movies." Annie explained and Finnick laughed.

"Could I also order sushi?" Finnick asked, and when Annie made a face he laughed. "Come on, you can't say you don't like something you've never eaten."

"That's why I don't like it. I can't eat things I'm not used to." Annie muttered, "You can never get me to eat raw meat. Never."

"Annie, sushi isn't raw. That's sashimi, which, by the way is awesome, but I wouldn't ever make you eat something that's raw. Sushi is just fish and vegetables, wrapped in seaweed and rice. Nothing that outlandish." Finnick said, "If I'm going to lie in bed with you and watch movies and eat ice cream all day, I also want sushi."

"Is this you trying to compromise?" Annie asked and Finnick laughed as he kicked off his shoes and climbed into bed with her.

"This is me asking for permission." Finnick asked and Annie bit her lip, smiling as demurely as she could.

"For what exactly?" She asked, and he leaned in, his lips nearly brushing hers as his breath tickled her.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked, and Annie smiled.

"Just a little bit. My ice cream will start to melt." She warned, placing her carton of ice cream on the bedside table.

"No I see your game, but I do have concur. Ben & Jerry's ice cream is one of the essentials of life, though I'm more of a Phish Food kinda guy." Finnick chuckled before learning in to kiss her.

She was in his arms then, and he was kissing her in a way that made her skin flush and her lips tingle. Annie twined her fingers in his curls, stroking the back of his neck as she raised goosebumps on his skin. He pulled back, eyes dark and licked his lips, a sight that sent shivers of delight running up and down her spine.

"I think I might be coming around to Cherry Garcia." Finnick admitted and Annie wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Impossible to resist, right?" Annie asked and he leaned down again.

"I agree." Finnick said leaning down to kiss her neck, trailing to her collarbone. She rolled her eyes and swatted at him.

"Stop! Stop. My brother is in the house." Annie said, "I cannot make out with you with my brother in the house, it's like a rule or something."

"I'm sure your brother wouldn't care."

"Well considering he hates you, making out with his sister while he's in the house might not be the best idea of how to get him to like you." Annie pointed out and Finnick just flopped on his bed.

"Ugh…you heard that conversation didn't you?" Her asked, hands covering his eyes and Annie laughed and kissed his cheek.

"Loud and clear." Annie said and he just put his head on his arms, laying back comfortably.

"You Crestas are just get me all flustered, you know that? I haven't had anyone talk to me like that since the time that my dad tried to parent me once or twice in seventh grade." Finnick said and Annie blinked.

11:23.

"Your dad?"

"Yeah. I have one. Why?"

"Well everyone's got a dad, obviously. You just never talk about yours. Or your mom. You talk about your sisters and your grandma all the time, but never about your parents." Annie observed and Finnick just sighed heavily.

"My parents and I aren't really…close." Finnick explained before saying his story with an extremely obvious sarcastic lit, "I have the stereotypical rich kid woes. Don't let me bore you with the details, but Mom and Dad were too busy with their jobs to pay attention to each other, and me. Just hired nannies and made my Grandma watch me for as long as I can remember. They argued, Mom had an affair, there was a messy custody battle which was more about pissing each other off then about me, and they dumped me into boarding school. Sex and the City and Housewives of Orange County, you know, that shtick. I consider it a miracle that I'm a functioning member of society."

"That's awful." Annie said, surprised at her own distress. "Finnick, that's absolutely awful."

"It's alright. I didn't mean to upset you." Finnick said, touching her hand. "It's all ancient history, I promise. The reason I don't talk about it is because it makes people…I don't know, get either judgey or pity me."

"I'm just…sad. I wish everyone could have the family I do. I'm really blessed, I guess." Annie admitted and Finnick just smiled at her, the smile that showed so much more going underneath the surface, but she didn't know if the right time to brooch the subject was at that moment.

"Your family is awesome." Finnick agreed, "It's perfect."

"It's far from perfect." Annie said with a roll of her eyes, "But…I wouldn't change it for anything."

"So…because I told you my sob story, could I possibly get you to agree on sushi? Because I really really want sushi." Finnick asked, battling his eyelashes and Annie laughed and punched his arm.

"Alright fine. I might even try some."

"Sushi, ice cream, and my favorite girl on the planet. Can't think of a better day. May I also suggest Frozen as our movie of choice?"

"I haven't actually seen Frozen yet." Annie said thoughtfully, "That's the one with Idina Mendzel right? The woman who was Elphaba in Wicked?"

"Yes, and what? Do you not have a soul?" Finnick asked, totally aghast. "I can quote the entire movie!"

"You've seen it that many times?"

"I have six and four year old sisters. Of course I have. Frozen, along with every other Disney movie."

"Then you'll just have to help me get cultured." Annie teased and he reached up to kiss her.

"We have a lot of time for that."

Annie held the two dresses up to her body. That day was a pink day so she had chosen from her outfits accordingly. One, a floral dress with pink flowers and button up front, the other a pale pink dress with a Peter Pan collar. Both could be paired with the white sweater she had chosen and silver flats.

9:17.

* * *

"What do you think, Cora? Which one says, 'Yes, I believe that Jesus died for my sins'?" Annie asked and Cora hit her with the magazine she had in her hand.

"Come on. It's sweet that your boyfriend is trying to include you in on the things that matter to him. You have no idea how many girls would kill to have that. It's just Church. It won't kill you."

"I don't know. According to Mrs. Sherman I might burst into flame for my inability to accept the Truth of God is a result of the claws that Satan has sunk into my eternal soul." Annie muttered. "I hope I don't see her today."

"For the record, go Peter Pan. And don't let your inherent pessimism ruin today. I know you believe that religion is a sham made so helpless and uninformed flock feel better about their insignificant lives and the powerful can prey upon that lack of information and blind trust, if God exists he's not only cruel, but random and merciless, and that nothing happens after death besides decay, blah blah blah. But it's pretty obvious that Finnick doesn't. Who knows, maybe you'll have a revelation or something." Cora said and Annie scoffed as she pulled the dress over her head.

"Revelation? About what?" Annie said, fixing her dress, "In my point of view, everything can be explained by science or will be explained in the future. Anything else is just bullshit done for profit."

"Revelation on how you managed to score the sexiest, most attractive guy on the planet. Just think of it this way, light filtered through stained glass striking Finnick's godlike features will be a great mental image to keep forever as you ponder your luck, won't it?" Cora asked as Annie put on her diamond studs before placing her hands on her hips.

"I'll play nice." She promised Cora, "I won't mention anything about my tragic lack of faith in fairytales."

"Good. Does Finnick find that side of you endearing as well?"

"I haven't really mentioned it."

"You might want to at some point."

"It doesn't really matter, does it?" Annie asked with a shrug. "Finnick asked me to come with him, and I'm going to suffer through it for him because this means a lot to him. Also he said if his Grandma is feeling up to it she's going to be there. I can't back out of meeting Finnick's family, and I have to try to get her to like me."

"You don't need to try." Cora said, "Just be yourself."

"Because we all know how well that turns out on a regular basis." Annie said with a roll of the eyes.

"Well, when your evil scheme blows up in your face, I'll be over here saying I told you so." Cora said with a devious smile as the doorbell rang. "Your boytoy I presume has arrived to escort you to Church."

"I presume so."

"Keep your militaristic atheism in check?"

"Check."

"And be hot and irresistible, give him something to confess about." Cora said in a faux-sexy voice that made Annie laugh and throw the closest pillow at her face and run down the stairs to the door.

9:27.

Finnick was dressed obviously in his Sunday Best, a perfectly ironed, crisp grey button up, black slacks, and shiny black dress shoes. His hair instead of being its usual tousled curled was combed and neat, and his scruff was trimmed. He gave her a mischievous grin as he offered his arm.

"Good mornin', Miss Annabel." Finnick twanged in a rather convincing southern accent and Annie just rolled her eyes as she took his arm.

"Good morning, Finnick. You're all dressed up." Annie observed as she closed the door behind her making sure to lock it and unlock it before locking it again and testing the handle to make sure it was really closed and Finnick's smile just grew wider.

"Do you think my Grandma would just let me go to Church in a tee shirt and shorts?" Finnick said, "She thinks it a shame that I don't show up in a tuxedo like my Grandpa used to. But today, I do get to show up with the most beautiful girl in all of Panem on my arm. By the way, you look gorgeous Annie."

"I do want to make an impression on your grandma." Annie said, leaning against Finnick's arm.

"You will. Grandma is going to love you." Finnick promised as he kissed the top of her head, "Technically she'll have to because you should never dislike people while at Church."

"Right." Annie murmured as Finnick opened the door to his car for her and she got in.

Finnick drove to the church on Miller St., Annie knew the way because after Finnick had told her which one he went to Annie had looked it up online and she knew that it was approximately 8.3 miles from her house and the three different ways to get there and it would take about 17 minutes to get there and the mass started at 10:00 so Annie had wanted to make sure to get there on time because she absolutely could not stand tardiness. Finnick talking about how his practice went yesterday morning and the insane amount of yardage he put in. Annie couldn't help but tap as she tried to calm down and reviewed what to say in her head. She would avoid talking about her problems if she could, be polite, try not to let the enclosed building and the multitude of people unnerve her, and just smile no matter how weird it felt on her face sometimes. Avoid touching things if she could, because with lots of people came lots of germs, especially in public spaces, and that's why she had her hand sanitizer in her bag.

They finally pulled into the parking lot that was almost completely full by the time they got there. Finnick parked the car and they both got out, and he immediately beamed as he spotted some older ladies in the parking lot.

"There's Mrs. Harris, and-oh! Grandma!" He called, and immediately half-ran over to scoop the old woman in his arms. Finnick was oozing happiness as the old woman, Finnick's Grandma spoke to him, using one of her hands as the other one steadied her on her cane, before giving his cheek a pat. Annie was nearly frozen in place, her palms sweating because what if she opened her mouth and said something stupid and Finnick's Grandma hated her? What if she didn't think she was pretty enough or smart enough or good enough for Finnick, and Annie just wanted his Grandma to like her and not think of her as a nervous wreck and onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnine eight is good, seven is bad because it is odd and prime, but nine is okay because it is divisible by three.

"Grandma, this is Annie." Finnick introduced and her Grandma gave him a jab in the side with her cane.

"Did you tell the poor girl that I would eat her? She looks half-scared to death." His grandma said, her voice strong and with the tiniest remnants of an Irish accent though on occasion wavering as she attempted to sort out her words. She smiled at Annie, a smile that was a bit lopsided on her left side before reaching out to give Annie a gentle touch on the arm. "Don't let this old woman scare you. My name is Margaret O'Leary, Finnick's mother's mom. Feel free to call me Mags, or Grandma, or whatever you prefer."

"It's really nice to meet you." Annie choked out.

"And it's very nice to meet you. Tell me about yourself, I'm dying to know about the girl who has my grandson so enamored." Mags said conspiratorially, looping her arm through Annie's and Finnick pouted.

"Grandma…don't embarrass me please." He whined and she shook her cane at him.

"You go say your hellos to my friends. Shirley wanted to congratulate you on your last meet. Now shoo!" Mags said, inciting a laugh in Annie as Finnick bowed and went off to do as Mags had said.

"There's not much to tell." Annie murmured and Mags patted her arm as they walked through the parking lot.

"Oh boo. Don't be shy."

"Well…I was born in Panem, grew up in Panem, and am currently going to Panem University with Finnick. I met him in one of my classes." Annie explained and Mags nodded.

"He told me that, what are you hoping to become?"

"I'm in the engineering program. I've got an internship again this summer at Hover Craft Inc. and I'm mostly focusing in aeronautical engineering." Annie said and Mags' smile grew.

"What a wonderful thing to be a woman of sciences. Back when I was a young woman I was a nurse you know, after I finished my swimming. My mother was adamant that I be a good housewife like her, and let's just say I was always a free spirit." Mags told her.

"You swam too?" Annie asked curiously.

"Oh yes, I was in the 1948 London Olympics, dear." Mags said, "Won gold in the 400 freestyle, the only gold won by Great Britain in swimming."

"Woah." Annie said, amazed at the fact that on her arm was a gold medalist for the Olympics. How strange was that? "So does excellence run in the family then?"

"Oh I don't know about that. Back then was a totally different world then today. There were only five events for women, and imagine, it was the first televised Olympics ever. How fast I was in my prime isn't anything compared to how talented these young folks are today." Mags said, waving her off. "But I dare say that I was the one that pushed my daughter to have Finnick start swimming. I could see his potential from a mile away."

"Finnick is extremely talented." Annie said, "I used to swim as well, so I understand how insane his times are."

"You did? What were your events?"

"Distance freestyle." Annie said and Mags chuckled.

"I knew I liked you for a reason." Mags said, "Do you keep up with it?"

"Sometimes I do it for exercise but…I quit competition when I was fourteen." Annie said quietly. "Health problems and all that."

"I see. Well, no matter. Tell me more."

With Mags' insisting, Annie was persuaded into telling a short story of her life, though completely edited of her issues. Annie found herself warmed to Mags. She was a spitfire wrapped in a tiny package, and her opinions were as clear as day and her attitude just made her all the more endearing. Annie definitely understood why Finnick obviously adored her so much.

Finnick slid into the pew next to Annie, giving her a smile and a thumbs up before the service started.

The priest was old but obviously passionate about what he did. Annie tried not to be judgmental about what was going on and the topic matters and just attempted to accept the situation at hand as it was with grace. Though of course it was hard for her, because she didn't divulge her lack of faith to many people. In fact, only her family members and closest friends were currently aware. She herself found her lack of faith sad. Annie had often wished she could be as idealistic about the world as those with true, good faith were. It was a beautiful thing, to believe that the world meant something, and that the good would eventually be rewarded. From the way Finnick was so absorbed in prayer, the light in his eyes, anyone would wish to be like that. But Annie simply couldn't, and she certainly couldn't go back because she couldn't bare to believe that her issues, something totally beyond her control, were part of some plan. It was just too cruel.

11:25.

It all ended much quicker than Annie had expected, and Finnick looked almost refreshed.

"Wanna go get lunch with Grandma and me?" Finnick asked as Annie slid out of the pew.

"I would really like that-" Annie started to say but another voice that made Annie cringe interrupted her.

"Annie Cresta! Is that you?" Mrs. Sherman asked while she ran over, and Annie flushed.

"Um, hi Mrs. Sherman." She said awkwardly and she just smiled that stupid fake smile that made Annie want to slap her.

"So Finnick Odair is the lucky boy!" Mrs. Sherman said, "Such a good choice, and so talented."

"Thank you, Mrs. Sherman." Finnick said graciously.

"He even managed to get you to come back to Church." Mrs. Sherman said, "I knew it, you know. God brought you two beautiful young people together and of course with Finnick's help you can be welcomed back in the faith."

"Brought back?" Finnick asked, as if confused.

"Annie, you didn't tell him? About your little crisis?" Mrs. Sherman said before taking the liberty to say, "Well, it's pretty much ancient history now! But after Annie's mental health issues she had a bit of a falling out with Jesus. But she's back, aren't you sweet-"

" _Will you just shut up?_ " Annie demanded, half-way to hysterical. Her heart was pounding and her breath was coming too quick and Annie was sure that she was shaking. "Stop talking about me like I'm five years old and stop spouting your stupid bullshit! God didn't bring me anywhere or do anything so just leave me alone already!"

Annie ran out of the Church and was half way down the street when she decided to rest her hands on her knees and start to hold back her tears. Why couldn't she do anything right? She should have just let Mrs. Sherman go on. She should've just swallowed her pride like a grown woman and just dealt with it.

11:39.

"Annie!" Finnick called, running up to her, looking ruffled and concerned. "Annie, are you okay?"

"I'm an atheist." She blurted out and Finnick blinked.

"Um…okay?" Finnick said as if confused.

"No, I mean I'm really an atheist. I think God doesn't exist or if a higher power does exist it's something beyond our understanding and that the Bible is just a bunch of stories written about a Jewish Carpenter who lived a hundred years before anyone bothered to record anything. I just didn't want to tell you because you wanted to spend the day with me and I wanted your grandma to like me." Annie blathered, her head spinning because she was just vomiting out incriminating words and they had just gotten back to being good again and here she went and was ruining it.

"Okay." Finnick said and Annie stared at him.

"You're okay with that?" Annie said, astounded.

"I'm okay with you being an atheist. I'm not okay with the fact that you didn't tell me." Finnick said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I totally dragged you to Church based on assumptions. I made you sit through something that you don't believe in and it makes me feel bad."

"We just got over our fight and I didn't want to fight about anything else." Annie said sheepishly, looking down at the ground.

"Annie, that's total bullshit. I want to hang out with you." Finnick said, "The real you. I thought we agreed on honesty?"

"We did! It's just…people don't normally react well." Annie admitted and Finnick shrugged.

"I mean, I don't agree with every single thing that the Church says. Like I totally think condoms are a good idea. I've never met a single girl who didn't take the pill nor do I think it's realistic not to take it. And I think marriage is a right everyone should have no matter what." Finnick explained, "Just because I believe that there's a God who's loving and forgiving, doesn't mean that you have to believe too."

"You don't need to be forgiven for anything besides your obsession with Fifa." Annie joked, and Finnick gave that sad smile that made her heart hurt and was hiding something just below the surface, but Annie never worked up the nerve to ask what it possibly could be.

"I'd…like to believe that." Finnick said with a rather heavy sigh before smiling brighter, his mask up in full force and Annie was too tired to point it out to him, "Grandma was busy chewing Mrs. Sherman out about how despicable divulging someone else's personal business is when I left. I think she'd be done about now, if you still want to do lunch."

"I would really like that." Annie admitted, taking Finnick's hand.

"Stay honest with me?" Finnick asked her, and she smiled.

"Always. Even if it's tough." Annie said, and Finnick gave her a smile.

"Good. Because it helps me to fall in love with you faster." He teased and Annie elbowed him in the side.

"One day you'll be looking back on this and wondering how you could have possibly resisted my feminine wiles." Annie teased back.

"I'm sure." He said as the walked back to the parking lot hand in hand.

Even though Annie itched to grasp for her hand santizer because her hands were so dry and dirty and gross, she was sure her hair was a mess from her run, and she needed to take a shower or wash because her sweat made her skin crawl because that was gross, Annie felt like for the first time in a long time she could breathe easy.


	8. This unbound lover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "However, having lived in a world so out of her control for most of her life, she just wanted to be able to be in command of herself." A young woman living and struggling with OCD, falls in love with a young man chasing his dreams. But life isn't as simple as just that. Modern AU Odesta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Hope you've been having a great day!   
> I felt bad that I hadn't updated this in a while, so I went ahead and wrote the longest chapter ever. Like oh my god.   
> FIRST LEMON. HURRAY! :D   
> In other news...  
> I've been honored to have been asked to donate a fic for Fandom4lls, which is using fanfiction in order to raise money to cure leukemia. If you want to donate and receive one of the fics from me or any other amazing author go check out fandom4lls(dot)blogspot(dot)com

This unbound lover

Sometimes Annie really disliked eating.

It's not that she didn't like food itself, nor was she trying to lose weight. Despite her constant worry, her weight was something she didn't worry about too much. That was because she was thin, not as a result of dieting but of just her constitution. She was constantly told that she was skinny, which sometimes unnerved her because Annie was sure they were all just whispering behind her back about all the other possible diagnoses she should have on top of her OCD because she was obviously mentally ill so she had to be broken in every way. But the real reason she didn't like eating was because it was a constant source of anxiety, the careful preparing, the washing, the cutting, and the exact portions. If there was even the tiniest bit extra of flour, a piece of apple dropped on the counter, the sliver of an egg shell, it ruined whatever she was making. It sucked any of the fun that cooking could have possibly held for Annie, and on more than one occasion she was pushed to the edge of tears of absolute frustration that made her give up completely and go hungry until it was the appropriate time for the next meal. If she did managed to finish making a meal, the second course of ritualizations started, and even when she got through those between her bites her racing thoughts never seemed to stop for a single second. Most of the time, she mechanically shoveled food into her mouth, chewing so she wouldn't choke, but scarcely giving herself enough time to ponder. Certainly that was enough to make any food taste like ash in her mouth.

And so Annie was always comforted by Finnick's absolute joy when it came to eating. She would finish her little portions of the food that she didn't have to stress as much about preparing, and she would soak in Finnick's joy. Just like with everything, Finnick relished every bite with the sort of gusto one could only imagined came from doing something he loved.

So when a few days before Finnick was leaving for his championship meet his dinner only consisted of a PB&J that he barely nibbled at, it gave Annie ample cause for concern.

"What wrong?" Annie asked, everything that could ever be wrong swirling in her head and panicking her. "Are you feeling okay?"

"'M okay." Finnick dismissed.

Except he wasn't okay. It was so obvious that Annie knew she had to do something. So she immediately got up, walked over to the kitchen where she pulled out the spaghetti she knew Peeta had made a few days before, heated it up in the microwave before peppering it with a good amount of cheese before serving it to Finnick.

"There." She told him. "Have that instead, you need the carbs and calories."

Finnick looked down at the spaghetti before putting his head in his hands and taking in a shaky breath, his shoulders visibly trembling.

Oh God. Was he crying?

She stood there, rooted to the spot like a complete idiot before almost mechanically sitting beside him and rubbing his shoulder.

"What's wrong, Finn. And don't say nothing." She told him and he looked at her, more exhausted then she had ever seen him.

"My mom." He said the disappointment and anger boiling over and Annie had never seen him so obviously upset and then he suddenly exploded, "She promised me that she would bring Mags and Adrianne and Brooke to my meet. But she just totally flaked out! Made up some dumb bullshit that she has some sort of board meeting. It's just…damn it! It's the same time every year and this was months in the planning! Mags can't drive anymore, and I just wish my mom could pretend to care!"

"Finnick-"

"What?" He snapped and she touched his hand.

"Breathe." Annie said, and the irony wasn't lost on her that she was currently giving the advice that had been given to her about a hundred thousand different times in vain. "Breathe. You're going to make yourself sick."

Finnick released a shaky breath, and Annie opened up her arms. He immediately scooped her up into his lap, resting his head on the slope of her shoulder. For a few moments, he simply breathed, his face pressed against her hair as if the smell of her hair comforted him in the same way her arms and kisses could. They stayed like that for a few minutes, before Annie rubbed his back.

"It's okay, Finn." She reassured. "It's okay."

"It's not okay." He said, his voice muffled against her skin, as she rested her cheek on the top of his head, kissing his hair, and rubbing his shoulder. But she could certainly tell from the way he was relaxing, that he was much more okay then he had been before.

It was then she made her decision. It wasn't a smart decision, but she couldn't let this happen. She couldn't let Finnick go to one of the biggest competitions of his life without anyone cheering him on.

"I'll go with Mags." Annie told him and he stared at her.

"But…Annie, you can't travel." Finnick said, surprised.

"I can. I'll make it work. I know how devastated Mags must be, and I won't let either of you down." Annie promised him and suddenly Annie saw something that made her laugh, "Are you still crying?'

"No." Finnick muttered rubbing at his eyes were moisture was welling up. Annie smiled, cupping his face and brushing his tears and kissing his eyelids.

"It's okay, baby." She said and he pressed his forehead to hers.

"You have no idea how much that means to me." He told her honestly. "You really don't know how amazing you are, do you?"

Annie rolled her eyes.

* * *

"I can't believe you'd do something so stupid." Cora said, shaking her head.

"It wasn't stupid!" Annie exclaimed.

"No, it's impossible. Annie, you haven't ever traveled anywhere by yourself before. Ever! And your father and I can't get out of work so last minute. How do you expect to make it to New Jersey without having a break down?" Her mother tried to beg, obviously appealing to Annie's reason. But she wasn't having any of it today.

"I'm not expecting that. I expect to have 911 on speed dial." Annie muttered stubbornly.

She was currently sitting at the kitchen table, her parents staring at her with a mix of disbelief and bewilderment, her sister was shocked, and Kai was nowhere to be seen. Her mother just gave a heavy sigh and shook her head,

"And is there nothing we can say that wouldn't make you try to do this?" Her mother inquired and Annie shrugged.

"I don't think so. I want to do this. I want to try. It's too easy to just…give up." Annie explained softly.

She had been giving up for so long. With just the little things, which in her life weren't little at all. All the little things just kept adding up and adding up onto a mountain of things that were always pushing against her and standing in the way of her achieving the life she had always dreamed of. Even if Annie failed at this huge endeavor, at least the fact she had been willing to give it a chance was a sort of victory on its own. Maybe a few months ago, Annie wouldn't have felt any obligation strong enough to let her defy her broken instincts. But now she wanted to do this for Finnick, but to also do this for herself. She wanted to prove to herself that she was capable of being on her own and handling herself in the sort of situation in which she didn't have her safety net.

"I owe it to myself to try." Annie said, and Cora just got up.

"Well, if this is what you want, I say go for it." Cora said, sounding proud as she clapped her hand on Annie's shoulder. "My baby sis has finally grown a backbone. I'm proud of you."

"Gee…thanks." Annie scoffed, her parents just both shaking their heads.

"Please…just try to be careful. Don't push yourself too hard." Her father pleaded.

"I'll do my best." Annie promised, before leaving the table and beginning to get her things in order.

Annie had checked and checked and checked again the address of the hotel and the address of the pool that Finnick was competing in. She had both addresses put into her GPS, as well as the directions printed off of the internet as well as a map in her car and the phone number for the hotel plugged into her phone just in case. She was glad it was still winter, because at least she didn't have to worry about what the weather was going to be like because she already knew, and all of her clothes were chosen to fulfil her color schedule, as well as a planner detailing all of the things she needed to know in her purse. She had already checked and the hotel did have a laundry room that she could use to wash her clothes after she had worn them, checked the hotel restaurant to make sure she could eat the food there, and made sure to pack her utensils and her medications and her toothbrush and tooth paste and her medication.

Finnick obviously was going to his meet with his team, and on the day Annie drove with her full tank of gas over to Mags' house at exactly 8:20 because it added up to ten which was a good even number and she smiled as she watched Mags brought over her suitcase and Annie helped to put it in the back of her car next to her own suitcase after tapping the wheel twice with her foot once she got out of the car. Mags climbed into the car and rested her cane against the chair as she buckled in.

"Are you ready dear?" Mags asked and Annie sighed, trying not to let the knot in her stomach distract her as she plugged in her GPS.

"Yes, I'm ready. Do you have the tickets we need?" Annie asked, as she pulled out of Mags' driveway, and she held up the envelope.

"I do. Thank you so much for doing this, Annie." Mags said, "I'm so glad that you could do this for Finnick."

"Well…let's not thank me until we get there." She said nervously, feeling a cold sweat already breaking out on her skin as she passed the town lines, making sure to follow the speed limits exactly and get onto the highway.

8:24.

Annie absolutely abhorred driving on the highway because people had absolutely no control, they went ninety miles an hour or they went forty five miles an hour in a sixty-five and it just didn't make sense and it was so dangerous to see everyone cutting in front of each other with little no regard for human life, texting on their phones or blasting music so loud they couldn't even hear themselves think and Annie couldn't control it and make it stop. She had made sure they had left early so they wouldn't be stuck in the middle of a lot of traffic, so that knowledge assuaged her a little bit, but not enough to calm the ever tightening knot in her stomach.

"Annie, dear. Calm down." Mags said gently, and Annie blinked, and hadn't realized she had been gripping the wheel so tightly. She wanted to hit herself except she wouldn't take her other hand off the wheel.

"I… sorry." Annie said weakly, "I'm a nervous driver.

"My dear…I can tell it's more than that." Mags said knowingly. "Don't forget that I was a nurse."

Her stomach dropped. No. No, could she just tell? No. That wasn't okay! Normally she was so good at hiding it! She didn't want anyone other than the people who had to know, or to talk about it to anyone but her therapist. She was getting to the point in her life that she wasn't so much terrified at her thoughts (though sometimes she would be ashamed and shocked and horrified at the images that twirled around and around in her head like some sort of possessed and convoluted merry-go-round of doom), but just so damn tired and frustrated.

"I-I'm fine." Annie squeaked her voice getting higher with her distress. She was so embarrassed. She didn't want Mags to think she was hiding it for some reason even though that was exactly what she was doing and she was just waiting for it all to come crashing down on her, Mags wouldn't approve of her relationship with Finnick. Of course not. Who would want their shining star of a grandson to go out with a nutcase like her? It just didn't make any sense at all. Their relationship was just downright strange, but Annie really did love Finnick and Finnick at least liked Annie a lot and that was all there was to it.

"If you're not comfortable talking about it, that's perfectly fine." Mags said with a shrug.

"Okay." Annie said in relief, though she was sure that she was being so awkward that Mags must have been wondering how she had gotten herself together long enough to form a relationship with her grandson.

8:37.

"Um…where are you from?" Annie finally worked up the nerve to ask.

"A small town on the coast of Ireland." Mags said with a smile, "I had a mother and father and one elder sister named Elizabeth and a young brother named Charles."

"When did you immigrate here?"

"In the fifties, my husband was an American." Mags said with a warm chuckle, "From Boston."

"Huh."

"Where is your family from?"

"The Cresta side is from Italy." Annie said shyly, "The Longshore side is Irish and Lithuanian."

"I could've guessed the Italian side, you have the most gorgeous, luscious dark hair. But it does have some nice Auburn highlights in it."

"In the summer my hair definitely gets lighter and redder. Though I can't say I tan much. I definitely didn't inherit the Italian skin. I burn when I walk outside." Annie murmured, "My brother and sister are lucky."

"Do you happen to know what part of Italy your family was from?" Mags asked, as if very interested.

"They were farmers from the South. That's about all I know about that side. The Longshores though I know a little bit more about. My Great-Grandfather and Great-Grandmother came over from Lithuania around 1900 with their seven children, my Grandmother being just a baby. They had an incomprehensible last name so it was changed into…something like Carpenter. She married my Grandpa Richie and then had my mom." Annie said before sighing, "I guess I never really took much an interest in my ancestry."

"I do think that's one of the best things of this country. There's so much cultural blending, it's amazing." Mags said with a wide smile. "There's really not many other places where you can list off a dozen nationalities in a bloodline."

"You're right." Annie agreed before finally working up the nerve to ask, "What are Finnick's parents like?"

"You mean my daughter and her ex-husband?" Mags asked back and Annie nodded, her curiosity getting the better of her. "My daughter Lynn is very ambitious, in that way she and Finnick are very much alike. Extremely driven and a perfectionist. That has made her extremely successful in life, and I am proud of her for that. But…she lacks patience and sometimes I believe her to be selfish. She thinks of her success first, and consequences after. I fear that maybe I pushed her too hard."

"I can't imagine that." Annie said softly, to her Mags seemed like the perfect grandmother. She was spunky and funny, and yet unbearably sweet and a pillar of support for Finnick. Annie couldn't imagine her being the strict, pushy parent that Mags seemed to be painting a picture of.

"I did though. The world isn't kind to girls, my dear. That is something all women must face. The daunting weight of the expectations held for us. For my day, I was very much a subversion of regular norms. I wished for my daughter to be as much a trail blazer as I was. And she was and is in every sense of the way. But I believe that high pedestal I put her on harmed her." Mags said with regret just filling her features. "Now, her ex-husband Finn Sr. is also extremely successful and ambitious, her equal in every way. However, I think that the constant competition wore them both out. In life we shouldn't look for a partner who is our exact match, nor our exact opposite. We should compliment."

"Compliment?" Annie asked, confused.

"I believe that you and Finnick complement each other quite well. Though you do have your differences in behaviors, in values you are very much the same. You're both bright, you both have goals you strive for, and you are both caring and sweet individuals." Mags said suddenly pulling from her purse some yarn and needles and to Annie's amusement began to crochet. "You have been very good for my grandson, so I thank you for that."

"He's been good for me." Annie admitted, her grip tightening on the wheel as her throat ached, "I wouldn't be doing this now if it weren't for that fact."

She felt Mags pat her leg, and Annie didn't feel her skin crawl nor the mind wasps stinging her brain again and again about how digustingdirtterrible she was and that Mags shouldn't touch her because she was so disgustinggirtyterrible and she didn't want to infect her with her flaws. She just felt the gentle warmth of a maternal figure, and her features that were nearly brilliant with care. She had a way of looking at you that made you feel like you were the most important person in the world, and Annie could really see why Finnick loved Mags so deeply.

"That's what love is supposed to be, dear." Mags said and Annie turned her whole attention back to the road as the car lulled into a comfortable silence.

8:43.

If only love could be that simple, Annie thought sullenly.

* * *

11:45.

Annie half collapsed on the bed. She had finally made it to the hotel, brought Mags to her room and was currently lounging in her own room. She had checked the bathroom and the closet and the bed and all the counters and found them all to be clean, as expected of a nice Marriot she thought to herself. Finnick's family had already paid for the two rooms in the Marriot for the three days that the competition was going on. And she was grateful because the Marriot was the closet hotel to the swim venue so she would only need to drive ten minutes to get there so if they left every day at 8:15 they could take five minutes to get to the car, drive there and then be at the venue ten minutes early which is good because she absolutely hated being late.

So she just sort of lay there after neatly putting all of her clothes in the assorted closets and bureaus, organizing all of her pills and toiletries in the bathroom, and after having made sure to tap on every door way and all the pieces of furniture two times with her index and middle finger as she circled the room counter clockwise and around each landmark four times in order to get a feel for how big the room was and where everything was placed because it was different than her room and she didn't like that it was set up so different and if she didn't know exactly where everything was, if she woke up in the middle of the night she could trip and hurt herself and then she wouldn't be able to see Finnick swim and he would be so disappointed and she would be so guilty. This whole experience was very reminiscent of her own childhood so far. Spending every few weekends traveling and going to swim meets was what used to be her norm…and now she had trouble sometimes leaving her house. She couldn't even remember what it was like to enjoy being in new places because nothing was right, it was the way she wanted nor was she used to and everything was out of place. And yet somehow she was there and the first time she went off on her own ended up being for another swim meet. She supposed life just ended up working out like that.

A knock on the door startled her out of her day dreams, she rolled off the bed and went to answer the door only to find a man wearing the hotel staff uniform and holding what looked to be chocolate covered strawberries,

"These are for you, from Finnick." He said and visibly flustered, Annie blushed.

"Oh…um…put them on the desk!" She squeaked, giving the guy a tip before sitting at the chair in front of the four decadently presented chocolate covered strawberries. She reached for her phone, tapping on his name in her contacts, hearing it ring twice before he picked up.

"…Hello?" He sounded sleepy. It made sense, because Finnick had been out late at a shaving party, where he had gotten squared away and was now sporting his clean-shaven look, and had some sort of morning practice to loosen up that morning before getting on the bus. Annie figured he was still traveling to his own hotel.

"You're an idiot." She told him, "A sweet, lovable idiot."

"So you got my present?" Finnick said happily, "Grandma texted me and told me that you guys got to the hotel, so I figured I'd get you something nice."

"I'll save one for you." Annie said, picking one up and trying it, letting the fresh and sweet berry be complimented so well by the warm and melting milk chocolate. "They're good."

"Hey Annie?"

"Yeah?"

"Great job." He said earnestly, "I'm proud of you."

"For what?" She scoffed, feeling her cheeks burning. "I just drove to the hotel."

"I know that this was a big deal for you, and I can't really imagine what you were going through. But…you did this for me. That means a lot." Finnick said and Annie tried to formulate a response but was simply unable too. "So thank you, Annie."

"Just go finish taking your nap. If you don't come in first place in all your events then none of this will be worth it." She said jokingly and Finnick's laughter warmed her straight through to the core.

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow during the Prelims right? I'm swimming the 200 IM and the 50 free."

"Alright, see you then. Bye." Annie said, before hanging up the phone.

11:46.

She sighed and placed her phone on the desk and popped the second strawberry in her mouth. She liked chocolate covered strawberries. Annie had told Finnick that once during a morning coffee at Mellark's as she admired the extravagant cakes and pastries behind the glass. She hadn't had them when she was with Finnick, so that had to have been the only time she had ever mentioned her love for the confections. And yet he had actually remembered.

It was those sort of romantic gestures that endeared Annie to Finnick more than she could've ever thought possible. He was just such a good person, and such a sweet boyfriend. Sometimes it just confused her that he had such a prominent reputation as some sort of lady killer, home wrecker, and more importantly a straight up player. People were always commenting to her about how that they were "shocked" that they hadn't broken up, or that he hadn't cheated on her yet. Annie always rolled her eyes at the last remark. It wasn't as if Finnick was some kind of untamable beast that couldn't control his bodily urges. He was just a guy. A very attractive guy, but just a guy nonetheless. In fact it was disgusting and insulting to hear people to about him like that, and act as if they really knew him because if they did really know him they would see that Finnick was just a giant dorky teddy bear with great abs and a great taste in Disney movies. Whenever she tried to argue for his honor however, Finnick just shrugged it off and told her not to worry about it. That what they had was their business and no one needed to know about what was actually going on. To let the masses speculate as they would, and they would eventually get bored of it.

That was the thing that really confused her. For someone who seemed to thrive under commitment, whether it be to his sports or academics, it was strange he had such a bad track record with relationships and had even divulged to her that he had some commitment issues. She just sighed, maybe she was thinking about it too much just like she always thought about everything too much. It was probably all just the way he had dealt with the stress of being an elite athlete on top of being a student with an obviously semi-dysfunctional home life. After all, it wasn't as if Annie was the best at dealing with stress. She had enough involuntary stays in the psyche ward under her belt that she could be the poster child for Mental Health reform. But for someone who obviously liked having a girlfriend, it was rather odd.

But being the girlfriend of the supremely popular Finnick O'Daire was also a challenge in its own right, as she found out the next day. And she definitely was feeling the heat of judgment rain down upon her like acid rain as she sat next to Mags in the section next to the Finn Fan Club, which had drove to the meet just to watch Finnick compete and to ogle at his bare chest (That Annie admitted was quite a sight to be ogled at). Annie just continued to squirm and attempt to engage in the small talk with the parents as the swim teams began to file onto the pool deck. It was just when she was starting to wonder where Finnick was that she heard a cheerful voice call to her,

"Annie! Mags!"

8:32.

And there was Finnick, wearing his technical suit, the latest LZR Racer swim suit that hugged his form in a way that left nothing to the imagination, and his warm up sweat shirt that was left open so view his perfectly sculpted and utterly ripped chest. If that wasn't enough to make her feel woozy his megawatt smile that spread over his face was, as he hopped down the stairs in order to hug Mags first, to which she gave him a chuckle and then embrace Annie. God, being pressed against Finnick Odair's bare chest was good enough that it made her legs turn to jelly and a strange sort of smile worm its way on her face as he bent down and she pressed up on her tippy toes to kiss him, their mouths melding together for a sweet, but all too short moment.

"Hey sweetheart." He chuckled, before tugging on the rolled up sleeve of his letterman jacket that she was wearing yet again even though it was too big for her, she didn't have many Panem U themed things, and none of them corresponded to her color schedule so even though the pool area was humid and warm she was still wearing it because Finnick had let her keep it. "Nice jacket."

"Thanks." She said, "Why are you already in your technical suit?"

"The 200 IM is the first event. There isn't enough time after warm up to change into it. Also, it's new so I need to get a feel for it when I'm doing breaststroke. Otherwise it could throw me off my stroke count." Finnick explained rolling his arm. "I really need to get a good warm up, being cooped up in that bus last night wasn't that good."

"Don't let me stop you then." Annie said, "Good luck."

"Scream loud, I want make sure I hear you guys. The 200 IM I'll make finals for easily, but the 50 is going to be a little closer." Finnick said, leaning down to give her another kiss, and then peck Mags' head before walking up the stands and out of sight.

"You two are quite the pair." Mags chuckled, and Annie flushed.

"Mags!" She protested as the elder woman just continued to smile.

"I'm just happy for you two." She said, "You both deserve to be happy."

"I…thank you. But that's a little more difficult than it sounds." Annie explained, and Mags just touched her shoulder knowingly.

* * *

Finals.

Annie, when she had competed had been to many finals in her day as a swimmer. She had once been a very talented distance freestyler, and most long distance events went straight to finals instead of having to compete in the prelims, except for the 500 (or 400 if you were in a meter pool), which then you were forced to swim twice. She understood the huge pressure of having preform to the best of a person's ability, and what that could do to your swim.

The teams all began their warm ups, and on the other side of the pool Annie could make out Finnick expertly completing whatever ritual he went through to prepare for his race. After warm up ended, all the teams did their cheers, and then the first heat of the 100 breaststroke went off, the first event. Like most prelim-finals meets, the prelims were circle seated, essentially meaning that the fastest swimmers were broken into heats of all the regular swimmers and each individual competed, attempting to outdo the last fast swimmer for the time that would get them into the finals. Finnick had gained the top heat in everything, and so far had won every event he swam in, an insane feat that had certainly not gone unnoticed. In fact, everyone couldn't stop talking about the kid from Panem U who was shaping up to be quite the swim prodigy.

And today was the biggest test. Finnick's signature race, the 400 IM.

In the swimming world, there are two titans. Two races that if you are put into you desperately barter with your coaches to try to get out, fake stomach ailments, and try to scratch from the day in order to get out of doing it. First, the 1650, or the mile, a grueling 66 lap race that leads most swimmers to tears and pain. And secondly, the 400 IM. A high speed battle against the four strokes and excruciating shoulder pain. If you are found to be good at those events, your fate is sealed and you will be forever referred to as a distance swimmer, a title in the swimming world that nobody really wants to have.

5:03.

She was so nervous for Finnick it was ridiculous. Annie knew what it was like to be known for being good at a difficult race. The pressure was horrible. All she wanted was for everything to go well, and for Finnick to win his title.

Finnick was in the last heat, his time totally outranking all the other guys in his heat, as he nearly towered over all of them. His cap and goggles were fixed into place, and he stretched and jumped and pumped himself up before the started called the swimmers to their positions on the blocks.

It happened like always. Annie went deaf to all the sound in the world, she clenched the seat in anticipation because all she wanted was for Finnick to do well and to accomplish what he had planned.

"Swimmers, take your mark." The official called, and all the swimmers stilled in their diving positions.

The starter went off.

Finnick tore through the water, powerful strokes of butterfly propelled him forward, of all his strokes butterfly was perhaps one of his weakest so some of the guys in the heat kept up with Finnick well enough until he went into his backstroke. At that point Annie, as well as the entire stands was going nuts as Finnick managed to pull away in the backstroke, and get even further ahead in his breastroke before turning into his freestyle. At that point he was nearly a length ahead, the crowd and all the swimmers were going nuts, and Annie's eyes were glued on the clock because the real race was there. Finnick against the clock.

"Oh my God, he's going to go under 3:50!" Someone cried from behind her, and the welling of emotion burned through her chest and she screamed,

"Go Finnick! Go!"

He slammed into the wall, for a moment the scoreboard froze, the pool went silent.

3:49.04.

The entire pool burst into cheers, Finnick released what must have been akin to a war cry as the entire swim team rushed over to the lane to slap him high five as the thunderous applause continued. Annie just collapsed back into her seat, feeling utterly spent before Finnick waved to her, and pointed at his ear before giving a thumbs up. He had heard her! Annie couldn't help but release a strange laugh of relief, and for what felt like the first time in a long time her anxiety lifted just momentarily.

After all the rest of the swimming had been completed and the Panem U Mockingbird had been crowned the victory of their division, with Finn O'Daire being awarded the Most Valuable Swimmer award, Annie met him on the pool deck, and allowed him to envelop her in a giant bear hug that she attempted to return.

"You did so amazing Finnick." Annie said, kissing him.

"It's all thanks to you." Finnick chuckled, taking her hand. "So…I did something that I probably shouldn't have."

"What?" Annie asked, confused before Finnick cracked a smile.

"I told coach that I'm going home with you guys." Finnick said, picking up his swim bag and a duffle bag before giving a devious smirk, "If you don't mind? I'll drive us home tomorrow."

"That would be wonderful, Finnick." Mags said, walking over to give Finnick a hug of her own, "Give Annie a break from being my chauffeur."

"I don't mind." Annie lied weakly, because she was sure everyone was aware of how much of a freak she was and how much it did bother her to drive around placed that she didn't know like the back of her hand and how she got so nervous that sometimes she wanted just to pull over on the side of the road and cry because she couldn't take the crippling anxiety.

"And I don't mind driving back." Finnick said before Mags gave him a kiss of her own, cupping his face in her ancient hands.

"Congratulations, my boy. A job very well done."

Finnick took both of Mag's hands and kissed them both, before forcing Annie to hand over her keys and drove the car, first to a gas station in order to fill it up, infuriatingly paying for it himself, before bringing them back to the hotel. They ate a very late dinner in the hotel's restaurant, both Mags and Finnick telling stories of his childhood swim meets, Finnick exaggerating and Mags correcting him, and Annie just laughed along and told them of her own misadventures at the swim pool. The one time she got sick after eating a food stand hot dog, the other time she counted for her friend in the 1000 but put the counter in backwards the whole time, the light-hearted stories that made her mostly miserable childhood not seem so bad.

It was then that they reached the rooms, Mags wished them both a good night with a mischievous grin of her own, leaving Finnick to deposit his duffle on the chair. Annie just blushed furiously.

9:47.

9:47 added up to seventeen which was prime and odd and was a bad number and why hadn't she thought of this? What if he didn't want to sleep in the same bed as her? What if it made him feel awkward or uncomfortable and she didn't want him to feel that way at all.

"I…I can go sleep in Mags' room tonight." She offered, and Finnick dismissed her with a wave.

"It's fine. Just hand me some of the pillows and blankets and I'll sleep on the floor." Finnick said and she shook her head furiously.

"No way! You can just…sleep with me." Annie said, rubbing her arms. "I…need to go take a shower."

"Okay." Finnick said, cheeks warmed with a blush as Annie began her regular routine, trying to ignore the fact that Finnick was there and it was embarrassing because she just needed to get this done and onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnine eight is good, seven is bad because it is odd and prime, but nine is okay because it is divisible by three, and she made the bed, with her sheets and covers, put away her clothes. She went to the bathroom put on her robe and grabbed her towel, she got into the shower and washed her hair right to left and her body from down to up because that was right and dry from down to up and brush her teeth and floss and use Listerine and then she would wash her hands and get dressed in her pjs and then she would go to bed.

When she finally came out of the bathroom, he was sitting there on the bed, looking oddly nervous. And it was odd because she was supposed to be the nervous one, not him.

"Finn…is there something wrong?" She asked, and he stood up.

"It's hard for you, isn't it?" Finnick said, and Annie looked away.

"It's always hard for me." Annie said simply. And it really was always hard for her, it wasn't a problem that never stopped. The thought rabbits and mind-wasps never stopped for a moment, the anxiety never ceased, and the depression always clung to her like morning fog. There was never a time when it didn't.

"It doesn't bother me." Finnick reassured her taking her cold dirt disgusting disgusting disgusting hands in his hands, his warm, large, gentle hands. "I wish I could make it better…but obviously I can't."

"You do make it better." She told him honestly, "You make me happy."

"And I want to make you happy always. I want you to know that all this stuff you did for me…it means so much to me that sometimes I wonder how I ended up with a girl as strong and amazing as you are." Finnick said and Annie's throat felt like it was closing.

"I'm not strong."

"You're the strongest person I know." Finnick said, squeezing her hands. "You strong and beautiful and selfless and I…I love you. I didn't realize how much I did before I saw you there in the stand rooting for me like that. I want to be there for you too."

"Finnick." Annie sobbed because her heart felt like it was just going to burst into a million pieces as it swelled up in her chest. "I love you too."

"Good." Finnick laughed, a relief sounding laugh. "Wow…that felt really good to say."

She smiled at him and laughed and he smiled at her, before she reached up to wrap her arms around his neck, and he pulled her close so he could kiss her.

They were moving together desperately, Annie clawed off his shirt and Finnick nearly growled as he moved them onto the bed and began grinding against her, causing moans to erupt from her throat while he continued to kiss her silly. Annie opened her mouth to him, and their tongues swirled together for a few moments before he pulled away, straddling her and looking down on her with so much affection it made her blush.

"Are you…okay with this?"

"I'm more than okay with this." Annie said, touching his face, "I want this."

"Good, because I don't think I can hold back anymore." He said with a chuckle before leaning to capture her lips again, before he slowly pulled off the tank top she was wearing to reveal her breasts. His eyes were wide at the sight, and he gently touched her cool skin with his hands which were to warm it melted her right through. She sighed as he gently cupped them, before writhing in perfect wonderful pleasure as he closed his mouth around one of her nipples and began to lavish her with his tongue.

"Finnick!" She hissed as he grazed her with his teeth, the pleasure making her clench her legs as she tried to find friction. She reached to grasp one of his hands, and lead it to where she needed. Under her guidance he slipped past her pajama pants and her underwear before pressing _there_!

He pulled away, giving a groan and Annie shuddered, his fingers tracing her teasingly.

"You're so wet." He sighed, pressing them in and making her gasp hitch in her throat.

"I-I haven't done it in a long time." Annie admitted, between gasps as he began to pump his fingers slowly.

"I'll take care of you." Finnick said, giving her a kiss on the forehead, "Just let me know if it's not good."

Annie nodded and he continued to prepare her with his fingers, causing her to squirm and desperately grind against them. Oh God it was so good. She was almost reduced to a drooling mess as his experienced fingers pumped and stroked and opened her up further to him, experimentally tried angles before he found the spot that wrenched a cry from her throat and a rush of pleasure that left her sweaty and breathless and he pulled down her pajama bottoms and her underwear and discarded them. Annie eagerly yanked down his sweat pants to reveal his sculpted hips, rather impressive bulge…and Jolly Rogers themed boxers. Annie's eyebrow quirked up as Finnick broke down into manic giggles and her expression,

"Nice."

"I totally forgot I was wearing these." Finnick said snapping the elastic band, before reaching into the pocket of his pants to pull out his wallet and a condom he kept stashed in there, "They were a gift for Swim Team Secret Santa."

"I see." Annie laughed, before Finnick shimmied out of the boxers, tossing them unceremoniously to the side, and of course she made the utterly unsexy note to herself to make sure to fold all the laundry, and wash it before leaving tomorrow. "Finnick…I…I haven't done this in a long time…"

"Take it at your pace, babe." Finnick said before laying down and striking an artsy pose, reminiscent of a Michael Angelo. "Ravish me."

Annie could help but roll her eyes before leaning down to kiss him and his perfect chest, hearing him nearly whimper as she took him in her hand and gave him a few pumps, making him thrust up into her hand before she rolled the condom on, straddling him with him just at her entrance and bracing herself on his chest as she slowly lowered herself down, sank upon him until he filled her completely.

Finnick looked like he was about to faint.

"Oooooh…" He moaned, his mouth ajar and pupils dilated, "Oh God. Oh God your tight."

"You're big." She hissed, it was such a good ache, she felt filled to the brim. It made sense because she hadn't been with a man since high school, and had been leading somewhat of a celibate lifestyle for the past few years. Finnick pulled himself up, encircling her body in his arms, pressing them chest to chest as Annie slowly began to rock, creating a friction between them that was just too good to deny. Annie desperately moved her hips, feeling Finnick rock against her in rhythm as she desperately clung against his chest, to his skin, the warm skin, dewed with sweat that just felt so good pressed to her that she just wanted more. Their eyes met, his so dark with desire, pupils large, hair sticking to his brow and they continued their delicious rhythm, Annie wasn't sure what her expression was, she was barely lucid enough to keep the gaze as he grasped her hips and thrusted in deeper making her smother her keen of pleasure against his chest. Because he was hitting there there there right where she needed it and she needed this and as if he was in tune with her body he swiveled his hips and kept inspiring her desperate moans as she felt him swell inside of her.

"Come on, Annie." He whispered to her, in her ear as he kissed it. "Come for me, baby."

"I'm close! I-I'm close." Annie nearly sobbed with pleasure, and his mouth tugged on her ear, just as she gasped, "Finnick!"

She came, shuddering and clenching around him making him moan and come with a groan of her name, rocking through the aftershocks. They sat there, still lock in and embrace before Finnick fell backward, depositing Annie with little grace on his chest as she pulled up to throw away the condom and lay limply. Finnick hummed and kissed her back.

10:34.

"Love you." He said with that sleepy smile she adored.

"Love you too." Annie groaned as she tried to sit up, her legs feeling like jelly and she felt actually woozy as the sweat on her skin began to cool and reminded her that she needed to get in the shower and wash her hair right to left and her body from down to up because that was right and dry from down to up. "I really need to take another shower."

"Can I come in with you?" Finnick asked, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. Annie just rolled her eyes and tossed a pillow at his face.

"Sure. Come on." She said with a chuckle as Finnick happily skipped to the bathroom.

That night, with her body curled up next to Finnick in bed, there were no need for blue capsules.


	9. Sweet Sorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "However, having lived in a world so out of her control for most of her life, she just wanted to be able to be in command of herself." A young woman living and struggling with OCD, falls in love with a young man chasing his dreams. But life isn't as simple as just that. Modern AU Odesta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this update is dreadfully late, but June was devoted to finishing Reaching You, and I also worked on my submission to Fandom4lls which I somehow finished and the teaser and info should be going up on the website tomorrow which you guys should all go check out, and I was suffering with writer's block because I thought I was going to write this chapter one way but it completely turned into something totally different and I had to totally re-write it from scratch. Anyways, now that's over I can finally devote my time to this fic just like it deserves!   
> I hope you enjoy!

Finnick collapsing back into bed was what woke her up.

8:12.

Eleven. Not a good way to start the day she thought vaguely to herself as Finnick lightly kissed her mouth and her neck, before she rolled over on her front. He smelt like chlorine, and Annie knew he had just gotten back from practice.

"How was practice?" She asked him, brushing his damp hair from his face. He looked at her with a dopey sort of grin.

"Tiring." He murmured, "Happy to be back, kissing my gorgeous girlfriend."

"And I'm glad you're back too." Annie said, kissing him back. "But you really should take a shower. You have to catch your plane."

"Don't remind me." Finnick groaned, falling over next to her and staring up at the ceiling. "Are you sure I can't just tell my mom that I slept through my flight and I'll see her in the summer? She'd believe me."

"You have to go home." Annie said, "You've been missing Maximus and your sisters so much, I can tell. At least go home so you can see them."

"I know." Finnick sighed, "I do. I'll just miss you too."

"It's just for a week." Annie reminded him, "You'll have to be away for more when you make the Olympics and you go for training."

"That will be the suckiest part." Finnick told her, "Not being able to see you…touch you…feel your naked body which, by the way, is totally making me horny."

"Everything makes you horny." Annie observed, as Finnick slowly pulled down the sheets.

"Forgive me for trying to milk this for what I got. I won't be seeing you for a week." Finnick whined, before kissing down her neck and to her chest, making her moan as he cupped her breasts.

"I know…oh…this is your stalling tactic." Annie moaned, "Stop. Stop, you need to take a shower and finish packing….and we need to get you to the airport."

"Multitasking." Finnick said, "I'm sore. I need to stretch out if you catch my drift."

"Just get your ass in the damn shower." She told him, rolling her eyes and pushing him off. He laughed, giving her a kiss on the forehead before going off to do just that.

She stripped the bed of the sheets, tapping her bedside table four times with her index and middle finger as each sheet and blanket and pillow case came off, before folding them and placing them in the hamper. Normally she would have closed the door and taken off her pajamas, starting with her shorts, then her tee shirt, followed by her underwear, each folded separately and then placed in the laundry hamper, but since she wasn't wearing any of those and Peeta had already left for spring break, she then picked up then laundry hamper, from its place at the end of the bed, turning it counter clockwise then turning it back and placing it back down and then placing it into the hallways so she didn't forget to bring it home to wash.

Then it was time to decide on what to wear. She checked her calendar that she had uploaded on her phone, reminding herself that today was Saturday. And according to the calendar it was a blue day. So she opened her overnight bag and went through the things she had packed, all having been organized by color, and chose a blue floral tunic shirt and grey leggings. Following this, she walked into the closet, walked out, turned the light on and off again just to make sure before closing the door.

After that, Annie went to the bathroom. She made sure to comb her hair thoroughly, taking time to undo every knot, before throwing it up in a messy bun and spraying it to reduce fly aways. She wiped down the counter to remove of her hair, because in her opinion nothing was more disgusting then stray hair. Then she took her electric toothbrush, squeezing out a pea sized dollop of tooth paste neatly upon her brush before pulling out her phone and starting her timer. She had to brush for at least one minute and thirty seconds, before flossing each tooth twice and rinsing with Listerine for forty-five seconds. After she finished brushing her teeth, and wiping her toothbrush on her specific toothbrush towel, and wiping clean the toothpaste from the tip of the tube, and making sure that no toothpaste would congeal there before screwing on the cape and placing it back in its spot. Then she placed the containers and tubes back into their little pouch, before washing her hands thoroughly. She scrubbed with exfoliating cream, rinsed, squirted exactly two pumps of antibacterial soap into her palms, lathered for a count of ten before rubbing over all the surface of her hand, making sure to get under her nails, before rinsing off, and drying her hands and then walking into the kitchen to get breakfast after she had dropped off her things in her overnight bag.

Figuring Finnick would be hungry when she he got done changing, Annie went into the pantry and pulled out the pancakes that she had made both Peeta and Finnick before Peeta had left for home the day before because pancake mix had exact instructions she could follow and if she didn't have instructions she got worried because what if she messed up and the people eating it got sick? So she taken out, cooking oil, flour, baking powder, salt, white sugar, nutmeg, the carton of milk, and a carton of eggs, as well as sticking the butter in the microwave. With shaking hands that she washed after each ingredient was added, she mixed them in the bowl, before oiling up a frying pan and beginning to ladle the batter onto it. She was very careful, making sure each pancake was browned before turning it over and then placing it onto a plate. She heated up the pancakes, and after that she began to brew some coffee, and sliced up some fruit to serve in a fruit salad.

9:12.

Finnick appeared in the door to the kitchen, wearing sweatpants and a Panem U tee-shirt, and looking downright exhausted, but he smiled at her so nicely that it made her stomach twist into knots like it always did.

"Sweet, breakfast is ready?"

"Yep." Annie said as she finished pouring her own coffee, and Finnick grabbed the orange juice from the fridge.

"I cannot wait until we live together." Finnick told her, "You making me breakfast after a hard practice? That's like the best thing ever."

"Well considering that when we move in together I'll be working, I doubt we'll have time for me to make us breakfast."

"You just said when." Finnick said, sounding very pleased and Annie blushed.

"Um…well yeah." Annie said awkwardly. "When."

"Well, I can't wait for that day." Finnick chuckled, before sitting down at the table. "But breakfast first, I'm starving."

They ate their breakfast enjoying each other's company for the last time for a while and talking about unimportant things, before picking up the rest of Finnick's bags and Annie's laundry hamper and overnight bag, packing them into Annie's car, before driving to the airport, making sure that she followed all of the speed limits and traffic signs in near silence. It was only when Annie pulled up her car to the terminal and got out after tapping the wheel with her foot in order to help Finnick with his bag that he reached out to hug her close. A hug that Annie returned fiercely, trying to absorb as much of his delicious body heat that she could.

11:02.

Just about an hour before Finnick's flight went off. A tiny knot of worry formed in her gut because airports were such hassles and she hoped he got through security and everything on time.

"I'll be back in a few days, okay? Skype me." Finnick said, before leaning down to kiss her. "I love you."

"Love you too." Annie said, still feeling that shiver that ran down her spine because those words coming out of Finnick's mouth was just so good and it was going to absolutely suck to not hear them in person for a little while.

And so Annie watched Finnick walk away through the automatic doors, and Annie shivered as the cold airport air cut through her cool skin.

* * *

"Hey baby." Her mother said as she got home, she was doing the dishes and cleaning the counters, and Annie naturally placed her stuff by the coat hanger and wiped off her flats on the mat before going over to help her mother, "Did Finnick get on his flight alright?"

"Yeah. He texted me when he got to his terminal, so he should be fine. He told me he'd let me know when he landed."

"Good." Her mother said, "And did you have a good time last night on your date?"

"Yes." Annie answered shortly.

"So…how long have you been having sex with Finnick?" Her mother asked her, causing her to choke on the air and her face to flush.

"Mom!" She cried, absolutely horrified.

"Well, you weren't going to keep me in the dark forever." Her mother said before placing her hands on her hips. "So, tell me. Are you being safe?"

"Of course." Annie said, "Tests were clear, using contraceptives, etc. Mom, if there's anything you should know about me by this point…it's that I'm a little anal when it comes to safety."

"That I do. I remember when your period came late when you were thirteen you were absolutely terrified that you were somehow pregnant." Her mother chuckled, "I had to sit you down and calm you down for an hour and explain again and again that sometimes periods don't always start the day we think they will."

"I think there's a point in every girl's life that they worry about having the second Immaculate Conception." Annie said, before sighing, "But yeah. It's…really great actually."

"Make sure to talk to your psychiatrist about it."

"Mom, no. I don't have any issues with my suddenly occurring sex life. I'm fine."

"Just because you don't have problems doesn't mean you shouldn't discuss it." Her mother said, "I just want to make sure that you are healthy, that's it."

When Annie didn't answer, she was sure her mom got the idea that this was not a subject that Annie wanted to continue with, so she let it drop. And instead she asked,

"So what are your plans for this break? Are you going to hang out with any of your friends?"

"They've all gone home." Annie said awkwardly. Katniss, Delly, and Madge were back in Seamsburg, while Johanna had gone back home to Lumberton, and all were visiting their families and doing their miscellaneous home-from-college things which included attempting to vegetate and working, leaving Annie very much alone for the week. "So I guess I don't really have much to do."

Her mother frowned when she heard this, and it was no surprise. Spring break for Annie normally consisted of her curled in a ball watching Netflix for hours at a time, trying to drown out her constant anxiety. At least with summer vacation she had her internships, but it was hard for her to hold down a lot of other jobs, especially in a college town, where some of the only jobs that were available for most people her age were in department stores or restaurants. And if there were two things that Annie was not cut out for, it was the food industry and customer service. Sometimes it was a struggle for her parents to keep her from just sinking into a listless melancholy and to sleep all the day. But really, what else could she do? Everything else in her life involved constant self-torture. At least if it was just sleeping, showering, and eating she had three distinct rituals and she could just stay in her room for the most part. Her brother could have his friends over, and her sister could have people over, and her parents could just relax. Sometimes, as she lay there in bed, curled in the warmth of her covers as she listened to her family downstairs she would think how wonderful they all were. Because even though she and Kai had their moments, he really was such a good kid, and Cora was so beautiful and smart and was going to be a doctor and her parents deserved a break from all the havoc she had wreaked on their lives because even if she managed to move away she would probably always have to rely on them and they didn't deserve that, they deserved a better daughter then her and if only she could just be better their lives would just be so much easier and it was all so hopeless.

"Just promise me you'll get out of the house, okay?" Her mother half-begged her and Annie gave a non-committal shrug. She hated lying to her mom, and she definitely wasn't going to make a promise she couldn't keep. "Well, how about I tell you about my day so far."

1:02.

After her mother had told her about her day and then told her that she was going to the store and had left, Annie made herself her usual lunch, a small salad with lettuce, tomato, carrots, and cucumbers, a container of creamy Caesar dressing that she ate first, Wheat Thins, hummus, and of course carefully washed and cut apples and a small container of Jiff to go peanut butter for dessert. After waiting thirty minutes she went down stairs and ran exactly four miles because four was even and could be divided by two, and then because she was so sweaty and sticky and absolutely hated being sweaty and sticky because it was unclean and her body fluids were literally clinging to her skin and all she could think about was how Finnick hadn't contacted her yet and all she could see was the plane going down and Finnick dying and the plane going down and there was nothing she could do to stop it so she took a look at her phone with trembling fingers,

[Finnick]: Made it 2 Flordia safe. Txt later when Im over jetlag.

Immediately relieved Annie texted back,

[Annie Cresta]: I'm glad, have a good time with your family.

Feeling a bit better, Annie went into her room and closed the door and took off her work out clothes, starting with her shorts, then her tee shirt, followed by her underwear and sports bra, each folded separately and then placed in the laundry hamper. She then picked up then laundry hamper, from its place at the end of the bed, turning it counter clockwise then turning it back and placing it back down before going into the bathroom put on her robe and grabbed her towel, and then getting into the shower and washing her hair right to left and her body from down to up because that was right and dried from down to up before putting on a tee shirt and underwear and shorts because she wasn't going to be doing anything for the rest of the day and she made sure to comb her hair thoroughly, taking time to undo every knot before leaving it wet and loose because she didn't like using hair dryers because it was unhealthy for the hair and what if it caused her to go grey early or burn?

Finally Annie grasped her laptop and booted it up. She turned it on to her first love, Netflix and began to binge watch Supernatural.

That night, as Annie lay in bed as she waited for her pills to kick in, she felt the empty side of the bed and wished that Finnick could be there.

* * *

The next day was Monday and after she woke up and went through her routine and as she always did after driving following all the speed limits and rode laws took her car through the car wash, choosing the third option called the Diamond wash. After the car was sufficiently washed she drove to the grocery store with the list her mother had given her, parking it and tapping her foot on the wheel and before heading in. Annie tried not to deviate from her mother's lists because sometimes with all the options at the grocery store that were available it would leave Annie feeling entirely overwhelmed by the sheer amount of choices and what if she chose the wrong one and had her parents spend money on something they didn't want? And so, Annie got through her grocery trip, driving back home and making sure to follow all the speed limits, before tapping her foot on the wheel yet again and going through the door to put all the groceries in their respective fridges or shelves. After that was all set, Annie went out to vacuum her car, trying to go over each surface four times because four was even and could be divide by two, but she ended up doing it about eight times because she was missing something she was absolutely sure and then she had to clean the inside of the windows and the whole process took her so long that instead of eating lunch like she should have even though it was late, she grabbed a popsicle and lay down on the couch because she was just so goddamn tired and no one had texted her for a long time and she felt like her head was about to explode and tried to marathon Supernatural again but by the time she went to bed even though she took the capsules she was lost in rabbit chases down holes that looped around the garden of her head.

The next day to her horror she slept late. This was most likely due to the fact that she had been awake until about two in the morning the previous night but nonetheless it was still stressful. She tried to rush through her rituals but ended up having to repeat them and by the time it was all done it was nearly afternoon and she had barely gotten anything accomplished. She had just sat down at the kitchen table with her nearly pounding head on the cool wood when her phone buzzed. She picked up her phone, only to see to her surprise that it was her sister calling her. Not sure what to expect, she picked it up hesitantly, half expecting it have been a butt-dial.

"Hello?"

"Hey Annie. You doing anything right now?" Cora asked her, and Annie frowned.

"No. Why?"

"I was wondering if you'd want to come get lunch with me."

"Is this because mom told you she doesn't want me becoming a hermit?" Annie asked suspiciously, and yet Cora laughed on the other end.

"You already are a hermit. And no, mom did not tell me that. So get your butt over to Cheesecake Factory at 1:30." Cora told her, and Annie sighed, not exactly having any option of turning down the invite.

"Alright, alright. I'll be there." She told her sister.

"Alright, bye."

Annie hung up the phone and fell back onto the couch, unable to resist looking at the screen.

"What's taking you so long?" Annie asked her phone. "There's not a hurricane or anything going on in Florida and I know you're with your family and I know it's selfish for me to ask…but why haven't you texted me? I just…miss you. That's all."

She sighed and let her hand fall off the couch.

"I really am a weird kind of person aren't I?" She asked no one in particular before she got up.

Annie very rarely dressed down, mostly because she hated being sloppy. But that day had been a yellow day and a day when she had been running late, and she had just thrown on a tank top and put her only Panem U sweatshirt on, as well as jean shorts and sneakers, and had put her hair up in a messy bun that because there was no one she should be dressing to impress in her empty house. She figured that it would be fine as she locked up the house turn the key and checking twice before she left, driving to the mall where the Cheesecake factory was. To her embarrassment Cora wasn't alone, but instead was sitting at the table with her friends Clove, Glimmer, and Valerie. And she was embarrassed because firstly she wasn't dressed nicely, and secondly because Annie didn't like Glimmer or Clove very much, while quiet and intelligent Valerie was someone she could handle but she had just been expecting lunch with her sister. It wasn't like Cora's friends had ever done anything to her or something, it was just always weird being with them because despite the fact Annie was only three years younger than them, when Annie was with them she felt like she was an awkward girl hanging out with women, and almost to prove her point they were already sipping on mimosas. Cora gave Annie a smile and a wave before Annie sat in the chair next to Cora.

1:32.

"Hey. I got you one." Cora said, motioning to the drink, while Annie did no such thing but instead produced her own water bottle.

"I'm not legal, remember?" Annie reminded her and she rolled her eyes.

"You're nearly legal. You're going to be 21 in June."

"Still not 21 though." Annie said before giving Cora's companions a weak smile. "Hi. How are you guys doing?"

"Good, though from what Cora told us you're doing better." Glimmer said, just about licking her lips. "You're with Finnick Odair."

"Yes." Annie said awkwardly before Glimmer gave a sly smile.

"And I was just telling Cora about I how hit that."

"Really." Annie said, trying to sound uninterested.

"Best lay of my life." Glimmer giggled, "It was during spring break. He was so…passionate. But I'm sure you know all about that."

"Well, he's a great boyfriend." Annie said, trying to steal her thunder. "Besides being…as you put it, passionate. He's also so sweet with me, is way too generous, extremely ambitious and hardworking, and will do just about anything to make me smile. I love all of those sides of him."

"Oh." Glimmer said, sounding strangely disappointed. "Well, be sure to keep him on a leash."

"No need. Annie's got him so whipped he doesn't even know what to do with himself." Cora laughed, and thankfully the topic was dropped for the rest of lunch and instead she listened with half an ear as the girls complained about teachers while she attempted to get over the embarrassment of having to use disposable forks and knives because what if the staff hadn't cleaned her things enough. It was when she got to the dessert that she faltered. Normally she just got a strawberry cheesecake, but she looked down on the list and saw the Kahlua Cocoa Coffee Cheesecake she just ordered it on a whim. As she took the first bite she nearly winced because it was just overwhelmingly heavy and chocolately.

"Why did you get that?" Cora asked confused as Annie just looked at the mostly intact cheesecake on her plate.

"It tastes nostalgic." Annie said, and just left it at that.

* * *

"Come on in, Annie." Dr. Aurelius called as Annie sat outside his office and it was 2:49 and her appointment was at 2:45 just like it was every Wednesday, but Annie had gotten there at 2:35 because she hated being late and had sat there as she attempted to not sweat and become nervous over her session. Dr. Aurelius had been her psychiatrist since her freshman year of high school and had been helping her to improve her condition as much as he could even though she knew that a cure was just about impossible she needed to learn to be in control and not let her OCD control her.

"Good afternoon Dr. Aurelius." Annie greeted sitting down on the chair across from him. He smiled at her from over the rim of his glasses.

"So how are you feeling today?"

"Okay. It's been sort of a down week for me." Annie explained, "My boyfriend's back in Florida, and I'm kind of stuck doing what I always do on vacation."

"Are you getting out of the house and interacting with others as we discussed."

"I'm trying." Annie said defensively before sighing, "I'm trying to keep busy. It's just that without Finnick nearby I worry about him. Like I'll just start worrying about if he's eating right or if he gets bitten by a mosquito and contracts a disease or if on the way back his plane crashes. But I-I haven't texted him just to check up on him for those reasons. I've been really trying to give him space for this vacation but it's hard."

"And you are giving it a valiant effort and it's paying off, I promise. So, how have things been with Finnick?" Dr. Aurelius asked and immediately Annie knew what she had to talk to Dr. Aurelius about, but was dreading it so she just decided to get right to the point in order to get the embarrassment over with.

"Good." She said awkwardly, "We've…gotten intimate."

"And how was that? Were you feeling any sort of anxiety?"

"Not really it's just…" Annie said, feeling her face flush with heat because talking about it made her feel ashamed. "I can't…do oral. I just can't."

"Annie, there are plenty of individuals without the challenges you face who dislike oral sex. It's a pretty common occurrence." Dr. Aurelius told her confidently, "As long as your partner understands your reservations and you are comfortable and safe, and are not having any sort of anxieties about becoming intimate with your partner or are ritualizing to a destructive degree afterwards, then I'd say that your relationship seems to be blossoming at a wonderful rate, and I'm very happy for you."

"I have to take a shower and clean the sheets afterwards." Annie offered, and Dr. Aurelius smiled.

"Plenty of people do those sort of things anyways. Most of us don't like being sweaty." Dr. Aurelius, "Annie, you've made some very significant strides these past few years. But of course we still have work to do. Are you ready for your exposure therapy?"

"Yes." Annie said even though she never was.

"Alright then." Dr. Aurelius said, getting up, and taking one of his glasses from his desk, before pouring some water from a water bottle in it and then sliding it across to her. "Right now, how are you feeling?"

"Okay." Annie said, her hands clenched. "It's just a glass of water."

"But would you drink it?"

"No." The answer was absolute. There was no doubt in her mind that she could not force herself to drink from the glass.

"And why not?" Dr. Aurelius asked and she just stared at it and the single bead of water running down the side and then spreading onto the table where it garnered filth.

"I-It's dirty." Annie tried to explain, but Dr. Aurelius shook his head.

"It's not dirty, I made sure to wash it before I offered it to you. And the water is from a bottle you just watched me open and pour in."

"I know that but…but what if you missed a spot?" Annie offered helplessly, "I didn't clean it so how am I supposed to know if it's dirty or not?"

"Just because you don't know for sure, doesn't mean I'm not telling the truth. Remember, maybe you will get sick. But most likely you won't, and since the odds tip mostly in the favor of you staying as healthy as you are, I'd say it'd be a good thing to drink from the cup."

"Maybe I will get sick, but mostly likely I won't." Annie said picking up the glass in her shaking hand, and the statement just tasted wrong in her mouth because she needed to know. Everything in her was screaming to put down the glass and to rub her hands raw in the sink in the bathroom outside of the office but she kept fighting to raise the glass to her mouth. And her hand was shaking so hard that she was worried she would spill all of the dirtycontaminatedfilthydirtydirtydirty water all over herself and then she would be even dirtier and she almost had it pressed to her lips and she just wanted to go somewhere and hide and she couldn't do it because onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnine eight is good, seven is bad because it is odd and prime, and nine is okay because it is divisible by three and she just wanted to be in control-

3:04.

The tiniest bit of water wetted her mouth and nausea rolled in her gut as bile rose up in Annie's throat, and to Annie her nausea and complete aversion was the taste of victory because she had done it. She had drank from a cup that she hadn't cleaned even though she wanted to run to the bathroom and scald her mouth with boiling water but soon the shame and embarrassment would come again and tear up her insides.

She placed down the glass and Dr. Aurelius looked at her earnestly,

"How do you feel Annie?"

Annie tried to smile, but like always it felt so wrong because she was on the verge of tears because this was her victory. Some people climbed mountains,other people became presidents. But this was all she could accomplish and she could only think of one word to describe the excruciating pain.

"Pathetic."

* * *

Her phone ringing is what woke her up Thursday night. She had already gone to bed in hopes of sleeping away the rest of her boring, stressful, and unproductive day. But despite her tiredness, at the sight of Finnick's name lighting up her screen, she happily sat up and turned on her light as she picked up the phone.

"Hey." She said and she heard him chuckle.

"Hey. Sorry for the late call. It's been sort of…busy around here." Finnick said, sounding tired.

"Well you haven't been home since August. How's your family?"

"The only way to describe them is my family." Finnick said, "But Brooke and Adrianne are good, and Max is laying down next to my bed so that's all I can ask for. My mom and Kyle and dad were all trying to convince me to transfer to a college down here."

"Do they want you closer to home?"

"That's one way of putting it." Finnick said, sounding frustrated. "They're on one of their parenting kicks. They want to 'make up for lost time', they said. They'll be over it by summer break."

"I hope not." Annie said, and she could almost imagine the way he shook his head.

"They just want me here for appearances. Because I'm a good swimmer and could possibly go to the Olympics. My dad's agent thinks it would be a good angle for a reality show, I bet."

"Reality show?"

"My dad's a real-estate mogul, remember? I'm pretty sure HGTV wants to give him a show or something. I got into it with my parents about it. Just whatever. I've just been trying to go to my club practices and hanging out with my sisters and my dog, dodging them is the best way to not fight with them." Finnick said, obviously wanting to drop the conversation. "I just want to go back to my real home with you and Grandma Mags. But anyways, tell me what you've been up to."

"Not much." Annie admitted, twirling her hair around her finger. "Got my car cleaned, went to my psychiatrist, had lunch with my sister and her friends, one who says she's slept with you. Do you remember a girl named Glimmer by any chance?"

"I'm conjuring the image of a busty blonde with an Inferiority complex and wears too much eye shadow?" Finnick confirmed and Annie laughed.

"That would be her."

"Yeah, that was a bad decision." Finnick said, "She was really jealous and would want me to text her every five minutes. I couldn't deal with that especially because I work out for just about six hours a day."

"I see."

"Don't worry, Annie. Glimmer was a fling. She's nothing compared to you. I definitely love you the most out of anyone." Finnick reassured her easy, "I miss you."

"I miss you too." Annie admitted, "It's just so empty here without you."

"You're lonely then?" Finnick asked, and Annie couldn't help but roll her eyes.

"Would it make you feel better if I said I was?"

"Harsh as ever. But I think that straightforward side of you is cute too." Finnick chuckled into her ear, "I might be feeling a little lonely."

"It's not like you're staying away for that long. You're coming back on Saturday." Annie said, trying to ignore her flush.

"It still seems like a long time." Finnick said, "And I miss being with you, waking up with you, among other things."

"What other things?"

"I don't know. Making love to you is probably one of my favorites."

"Finnick!" Annie squeaked.

"What? It's true." Finnick said, "I love making love to you. I love everything about you and I being naked in one bed. Why? Do you just pretend to like it or something, because that would be a huge blow to my ego."

"That isn't true. I like it just as much." Annie said, "I miss it."

"What parts? Tell me." Finnick said, his tone deepening, going into what Annie would mostly likely describe as "sexy voice".

"All of it, but especially when you hold me." Annie said, "I like feeling so close to you."

"I love holding you." Finnick told her, "The way that gorgeous tight body of yours fits in my arms so perfectly. The way your skin feels pressed against mine. It makes me horny just thinking about it. And granted this morning's practice was a distance practice so I had a lot of time to think about pleasurable things."

"Everything makes you horny." Annie reminded him, trying to ignore the pulse beginning in her lower half because she had already showered and it was late but God she just want to touch herself at the sound of that absolutely gorgeous laugh that sent her nerves on fire.

"Everything about you makes me want you." Finnick corrected, "But yeah, that's pretty true. It's just that it sucks here. It always has. The only thing that I can do to keep myself amused is just think about you and everything that I'm missing at home."

"I know the feeling." Annie admitted, "Except that I'm always thinking about too many other things. I would love just to think about you for the whole day."

"How has that been?" Finnick asked, concerned.

"It's been okay." Annie said softly, "It's just that I'm just kind of stuck in my schedule right now. I feel kind of like I'm running in a hamster wheel. But I always feel like that."

"You are doing alright though, right?"

"Of course. It's just a stressful time. Finals are right around the corner and all." Annie said, "But I'll be okay. I've just got to get through it."

"I wish you didn't have to get through it." Finnick said regretfully, "I wish-"

"It's okay." Annie said, "I understand."

"I don't want to keep you up too late, I'll call you again tomorrow, okay?" Finnick promised and Annie smiled.

"Sounds good."

"Love you." Finnick said, his voice full of tenderness and Annie just wanted to bottle it up and hide it somewhere where she could revisit it for the rest of her life.

"Love you too."

They hung up, and Annie went to sleep without the need for capsules.

* * *

By the time Saturday came, Annie was just about a nervous wreck. Finals were in two weeks, she had been trying to set up her internship and there was just too many people in the airport and she couldn't see Finnick as people filed off the plane. Immediately she was set off with about ten other things to worry about so she didn't even see him walk up until he tapped his book on her head.

"Hi." He greeted, and Annie rocked back on her heels for a moment, before grabbing his face to make him look at her. He looked good, but she almost could swear she could see the stress he kept hidden from her lurking in the pools of her sea eyes.

"You're sunburned." Annie said, annoyed and deciding not to bring up what she saw in his face because if he wanted to tell her she would always listen. He was gloriously tan, his normal copper-gold hair a shade more gold then the last time she had seen him, but on the bridge of his nose was a bit of peeling. She immediately reached into the pocket of her raincoat and pulled out the tube of aloe vera she had bought, and gently spread it on. "You need to be more careful. I know you don't burn easily, but you should at least take care of yourself."

"I knew you'd say something like that." Finnick said, smiling brightly. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." Annie said before he bent down to kiss her.

"Finn Nicholas Odair!" Mags called, hobbling over from the Dunkin Donuts where she had ordered coffee, "I know you're busy kissing your girl, but come over here to give your grandmother a hug."

"Grandma!" Finnick said, delightfully, rushing over to envelop the woman in a giant bear hug. "I missed you too."

"How is your mother?" Mags asked and Finnick sighed.

"Good. Busy, like always." Finnick said, deflating at the topic of conversation before trying to smile, "But the girls are good. They send their love."

"How wonderful." Mags said, touching his face. "But nevertheless, welcome home my boy."

"I'm glad to be home, with my two favorite ladies in the universe." Finnick said, looping his arm with Mags and taking Annie's hand. "Let's go get something to eat. My treat."

Annie smiled and interweaved her fingers with his, feeling Finnick squeeze back.

Finally, she thought. That day was a good day.


	10. Fortune's Fool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "However, having lived in a world so out of her control for most of her life, she just wanted to be able to be in command of herself." A young woman living and struggling with OCD, falls in love with a young man chasing his dreams. But life isn't as simple as just that. Modern AU Odesta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm late, adult stuff like work takes priority unfortunately. But what matter's is I'm here!  
> Trigger warning for sex talk. Real talk.  
> Get your bodies ready, next chapter we're going two years into the future.  
> And on another note, I SHIP ANNEETA FRIENDSHIP SO HARD I HELLICARRIER IT MOFOS.

Annie had only been to one funeral before in her entire life.

Her paternal grandfather had died the summer before second grade, but for almost her whole life he had been fighting a losing battle against two packs a day-and even three after her grandmother was diagnosed of Alzheimer's and eventually died of complications to a surgery. Annie had loathed going to her grandpa's house, because it always smelled like smoke and not like old people candy and laundry detergent like her mom's parents, and his fingers were stained and his teeth were yellow and his eyes were reddened and he had this horrible cough that made him seize in pain as his lungs tried and failed to give out and the air was so heavy with sadness. And he would reach out and stroke her face with those skeletal, stained fingers and smile at her with those yellow teeth as if she was the most wonderful thing in the world while those tubes that were stuck in his nose pumped oxygen into his deflated lungs that barely worked.

Annie had thought that if death had a face it would have been like her sunken, old, suffering grandfather.

He died on a nice summer day in July when he had a stroke, and in the days that followed everyone dressed in black and Annie could recall seeing her Dad cry for the first time (the next time she would see him cry was over a hospital bed as she awoke from her overdose) as he sat on his bed and tears dripped from his nose. And Annie stood next to her mother at the funeral and held her mother's hand as she was practically dragged up to the casket and she saw the body, and even though her grandfather was dead her mother kept referring to the corpse in the wooden box as her grandfather and she just wanted to scream that the thing in the box wasn't that person because even if he had scared her with the rattling cough, she knew that at least he could smile and know every answer on jeopardy and reminisce about how he had met her Grandmother at the lake and the way her dark hair shone in the midsummer sun. But the thing in the basket wasn't alive, it was a dead thing and Annie hated it because it dared to look like her grandfather, a person who Annie had loved and who was gone forever. Annie absolutely hated it, despised it, loathed it.

And then her mother had told her to reach out and give her grandfather one last touch on the hand and Annie cried and told her mom she didn't want to do it and begged her to let Annie leave and never look at the thing again. Her mother had gotten upset because she thought Annie was being very disrespectful and Annie had to reach out and touch the hand of the dead cold horrible rotting disgustingdisgustingdisgusting thing that wasn't her grandfather anymore-!

And then Annie threw up helplessly all over her hands and the floor and the image was forever burned into her head and branded into the back of her eyelids of her bile coating her fingers and her grandfather's corpse's fingers touching her hands and that coldness and stillness that was death that was forever burned into her psyche. She had touched death and disease and now was forever tainted by it.

During those few years leading to her diagnosis and ever since then she had never looked at her hands the same way again.

Dr. Aurelius told her that she had been traumatized when she was very young, and that disposition on top of that trauma and the repetitious thinking that something was wrong with her had a hand in what triggered her OCD a few years later.

All Annie knew was that sometimes she could hear her grandfather's helpless rattling cough in her dreams.

* * *

11:34.

She placed her papers on her teacher's desk, causing the Professor to look up, smile, and wish her a happy summer vacation. She had just finished her multivariable calculus final, and had just finished double checking it. As far as she knew, she had gotten all the answers correct. However it wasn't until she had left the room that the sweeping sensation of relief finally overcame her. A tidal wave of happiness overcame her, and she was just about skipping down the hallway because she was done for four whole months, nor more labs, nor more papers, she was done!

Annie had just left the building when she caught sight of Peeta Mellark walking along the sidewalk. She gave him a tentative wave, only to be returned by him walking right up to her and giving her a smile.

"Hey Annie, you just finish?" Peeta asked, and Annie nodded.

"Yeah, my calculus final. Are you done?"

"Nah, I've got one more paper to turn in tonight. I've heard from Finnick that you're really good when it comes to grammar. Could I inconvenience you for a little bit and could you go over my paper before I turn it in?" Peeta asked politely, and Annie smiled.

"Of course. Could we do it in the dining hall? I'm starving."

"Yeah of course." Peeta said and they began to walk to the dining hall. "So what are you going to be up to during break?"

"My internship mostly." Annie explained, "What about you?"

"Oh, I'll be working at the bakery. Make sure to come by and visit sometimes." Peeta told her and she smiled.

"I don't think I could go without the bake goods for too long." Annie admitted before saying, "So…are you going to be seeing Katniss over vacation?"

"Katniss?" Peeta half-squeaked, his face flushing pink.

"Yeah. Katniss." Annie said, and Peeta shook his head.

"I don't know…I have no clue where I stand with her."

"What do you mean by that?" Annie asked him and Peeta kicked a pebble on the sidewalk.

"I don't know. When I ask her to go somewhere with me, she does. It's just that I don't think she thinks of it as me asking her out. It always feels like I'm friendzoned with her, even though I'm pretty sure that I'm being horrifically obvious." Peeta admitted, rubbing the back of his neck, "Do you have any girl wisdom you could spare on me, Annie?"

"It's not girl wisdom as much as it is Katniss wisdom." Annie said, "Katniss is a great person. But she's really dense. And I don't mean that as if saying she's dumb or something, it's just that she's always very concerned about a lot of other things and so sometimes she gets stuck in this very narrow view of the world of "this is what I need to do and this is how it needs to get done". Subtly escapes her, she sees things at face value and doesn't look deeper. So what you need to do is be really clear with her, and spell out your feelings. Otherwise she's not going to get it."

"I'm such a coward, though. And she's pretty intimidating because she's so intense. Do you think that if I just told her, she wouldn't freak out?"

"If you start going too fast and corner her you sure as hell will freak her out. Tell her your feelings, and let her stew over it." Annie said, "But Katniss likes you. And you're a great guy, Peeta. If anyone in this universe can make Katniss Everdeen happy, it'd be you."

"Thank you." Peeta said, with a smile.

"No problem." Annie said, as they approached the dining hall.

Annie bought a can of apple juice, not disinfecting the lip of the can because she had been working so hard with Dr. Aurelius, before opening it and beginning to unpack her lunch from her lunch box carefully. Everything else was in carefully labeled Tupperware containers, sealed and cleaned. A small salad with lettuce, tomato, carrots, and cucumbers, a container of creamy Caesar dressing came out first, Wheat Thins, hummus, and of course carefully washed and cut apples and a small container of Jiff to go peanut butter for dessert. She took out the salad first, pealing the lid off the container before taking the lid off the salad dressing and pouring the dressing over the salad, rotating around four times before wiping clean the side of the container and closing it, placing it back in her bag as she set the first napkin aside to be thrown out later. She took her stash of plastic utensils out of the box in her bag, placing a fork, spoon, and knife on a napkin beside her and slowly began to eat as Peeta booted up his laptop. As soon as Peeta had done so, she began to read through his paper, which was focused on the subject of role of women during World War 2, making sure to correct any grammatical mistakes as she went.

For the rest of lunch Annie ate and chatted with Peeta, happy to help out Peeta as well as to continue to talk about the activities they were going to do over the break. By the end of lunch, Annie promised to visit Peeta at the bakery, and went on her merry way.

1:56.

She was nearly at her car by the time her phone buzzed.

Annie looked at the phone, only to see Finnick's name lighting up the screen. She picked up the phone and cradled it between her shoulder and ear as she opened up the trunk.

"Hey, what's up Finn?" Annie asked, as she loaded her stuff in the trunk.

"Hey Annie. Just want to let you know that everything went through and I'm staying in the apartment this summer." Finnick explained to her and Annie smiled.

"That's awesome!" Annie said, "So you're staying this summer with Mags and I."

"Yeah. I mean, I'll go down in July to see my family. But, I'll be up here with you for most of vacation so I'm pretty pumped about that."

"So how was your history final?"

"It went awesome. Thanks so much for helping me study. How did your final go by the way?"

"I survived and I'm talking to you aren't I?" Annie joked, "No but it went good. I was done pretty early and helped out Peeta with his paper. By the way, is he going to be staying at the apartment this summer with you?"

"He'll be visiting a lot. Just to make sure I don't burn down the building I'm pretty sure."

"I'll have to make sure that he has a nice apartment to visit." Annie said, "So what's going on tonight with you?"

"One last hurrah with the boys." Finnick said, "What about you?"

"Nothing really." Annie said, "I'm just going to be chilling, and recovering from finals."

"Alright, go get some sleep, okay?"

"Will do. Don't go too hard."

"I won't promise anything." Finnick laughed, "Talk to you later."

"Alright, talk to you later. Bye."

Annie let her phone drop into her cup holder.

* * *

Annie was someone who wouldn't describe herself as sexual.

The fact of the matter was that she had some issues getting in the mood, though sometimes attributed to her medications, it was mostly just due to her personality. Sex was not really essential to her everyday life. Something she accredited to as the reason she had chosen to live a celibate lifestyle before Finnick came into the picture for about three years after her very unsatisfactory stint as a party girl in sophomore year. It wasn't that she thought the act was gross, because it was a part of human nature and there really wasn't anything that weird about it, it was just that she had a certain level of uncomfortableness due to her own issues with her body. Sweat and her other body fluids were distasteful, and she didn't particularly like other people's private parts and fluids either. It was good as long as it lasted and then the battery of things she had to do to clean herself off left a bad taste in her mouth. And that wasn't even considering the sorts of diseases or other side effects such as pregnancy that could arise from the act. All in all, in Annie's point of view, sex was more trouble than it was worth most of the time.

Her sister, who was going into the medical field at one point had gone to the trouble to diagnose Annie as an asexual after she had explained why she didn't find the idea of clubbing to look for boys appealing after Cora had tried to persuade her to go to the clubs with her and her friends. Annie had thought on it for a little bit, but had ultimately decided that wasn't really the case because it wasn't as if she was adverse to sex or didn't like sex or didn't want sex in a relationship. But the idea of having sex with someone who she didn't trust or know anything about was what was actually nauseating to her. It was at that point that she had done a little bit of research and had decided that she comfortably fit into the category of demisexuality, meaning that the person being identified as a demisexual does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection to another person, more commonly in the form of a romantic relationship but not just limited to such. In her own mind, as she had been only honestly sexually attracted to probably two people in her entire life, one of them being Finnick and the other being her first boyfriend, this made the most sense. And she really didn't feel like she was missing out on much.

On the other hand, Finnick had to be possibly the most virile person she had ever met. His sexual exploits were something of a legend on the campus, a streak of broken hearts and a web of affairs that could only be compared to that of adult entertainment books or HBO shows. People had been constantly telling her that it was that nature of Finnick's that would get them in trouble, and that it was only a matter of time before Finnick bored of her and went back to his old days of "pussy-slaying" as Johanna had so eloquently called it. And though there was truth in the matter of Finnick's sexual appetite, as it was just as voracious as people made it out to be, he just liked sex and it was as simple as that and there was certainly nothing wrong with it in Annie's opinion because she was currently having the best sex of her entire life.

It was those very unsexy thoughts that were banging around in her skull as Finnick's lips melded to hers, his body pressing oh so wonderfully against her as his tongue swirled with hers in her mouth and the hardness of his pants pressed against the part of her that was just dying for attention. She stroked the back of his neck causing him to shiver before pulled her mouth away from his mouth and kissed his jaw.

"Oh God, Annie." He groaned, his hips jerking against her. "You're so hot."

"Finnick…" She sighed in pleasure grinding against him because the only thing separating them was the fabric of her underwear and his pants, opening her legs further. "Please."

"You don't have to ask me twice." Finnick said reaching down to pull off his pants.

Unfortunately it was at that exact moment that she heard the very distracting noise of Finnick's phone begin to vibrate on the bedside table and just kept going. Finnick groaned and reached out to grab it before whatever sort of heat between them actively dissipated.

8:14.

"Fuck." He groaned obviously irked, "It's my mom."

"You can't ignore it." Annie said, sitting up, and Finnick rolled his eyes.

"Actually, I can and will." Finnick said, "If it's important she'll leave a message."

"Is that what you think when I call you?" Annie asked, quirking an eyebrow, and obviously Finnick's sense of danger warned him of impending doom because he quickly sat cross legged on the bed and crankily picked up the phone,

"Mom, is there any other time you could possibly call me back?" Finnick demanded, "No, I'm not at practice or lift-well, it doesn't matter because I was in the middle of something. Yeah, well that's great. Congratulations. Wait, what?"

Finnick blinked as if in disbelief before pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Well what else do you want me to say? No, I'm not just going to drop everything to go to this dumb thing. Yes, I think it's dumb. Bite me." Finnick scoffed and got up and began pacing, "No Mom, I didn't mean to be disrespectful it's just can't you at least be a little considerate? I'm training for the damn Olympics and it's not like you ever carve out any time in your 'busy schedule' for me! Yes, I'm still pissed about what you pulled with my championship meet! Why should I…I'm your son that's why! I think I'm allowed to have hurt feelings, and it was more for Grandma's sake then mine. Yes-wait. Yes, I still have a girlfriend and she is here and for your information she has a name and it's-Yes it's the same one I've been dating since last winter. Mom, I told you this when I came home for spring…well, let me at least ask her before you decide everything on your own like you always do. Fine…uh-huh. Bye Lynn."

Finnick hung up the phone and released a noise of pure frustration before slamming his phone down on the bedside table.

"What was that about?" Annie asked, confused and alarmed.

"My mother." Finnick spat each word out like poison, steam nearly coming out of his ears.

"Did she want something?"

"Yes, like always. My mom doesn't do social calls." Finnick explained with a huff before falling backwards onto the bed with a groan. "Do you like Broadway?"

"You mean musicals?" Annie asked confused at how the question had anything to do with his mother.

"Yeah."

"I like musicals." Annie told him before she frowned, "Why?"

"Because my family is coming to visit. And I figure since my sisters are going to be there, we could go see The Lion King or whatever else is playing that weekend in the at the Capitol Theater House." Finnick sighed, "My mom's got a thing in New York, and since Mags and I live on the way, they're coming to visit."

"That sounds like a social call to me." Annie said as she lay down next to him.

"It's going to be all business, trust me." Finnick said quietly.

"Is your dad coming up too?"

"Ha! Right. My parents don't come within a twenty mile radius of each other when they can help it. The last time they were in the same house together was Easter, and they stayed in different rooms." Finnick said, the bitterness in his voice almost palatable as he whispered, "I hate them."

"Finnick…" Annie said, surprised and alarmed and he just continued to look away.

"You don't know how miserable they've made me over the years. It's actually terrible." Finnick said before chuckling, "I'm pretty awful, aren't I? I've got everything, and I still hate them."

"You're the furthest thing from awful." Annie told him gently. "I can tell it hurts you."

"Annie, I'm so sorry. I've got issues." Finnick groaned, covering his face with his hands, "And enough baggage to send you running to the hills."

"Oh please. Like I don't have enough problems." Annie said reaching over to pinch his cheek. "It'll all work out fine, Finnick."

"I really hope so." Finnick admitted, "I hope you're right. I don't think I can take anymore family drama."

"Well the good news is that my mom has been nagging me about meeting your parents. This will at least make her happy." Annie said and Finnick laughed.

"And if things go the way I think they will, this will also be the last time your mom wants to see my mom." Finnick chuckled and Annie rolled her eyes.

Finnick's mom definitely couldn't be that bad.

* * *

When the day of reckoning grew closer, Finnick got more and more irritable.

Honestly, Annie had never seen Finnick in a bad mood before, so it was rather jarring and concerning. Most of the time when things bothered him, he kept it to himself, so to see his irritation leaking out was strange. He never took it out on anyone else, just himself. Staying at practice to do sprints just a little longer, or smack the pillow, or biting his nails. On the day his mother was set to arrive, Annie could just about see rain clouds gathering over his curls.

On the day of Finnick texted her to let her know that his mom and family had arrived safely, but had been oddly silent to her for the rest of the night. The next day, was a blue day so she dressed in a blue shirtdress and gladiator sandals and braided her hair. First impressions were important after all, and she would like Finnick's mother to think of Annie as put together.

Annie drove over to Mags' house, driving the speed limit and making sure to obey traffic laws and parking on the curb besides Mags' driveway because the only thing she could manage to do after she tapped the wheel of her car with her foot and made sure to lock it was to ogle at a gorgeous black Escalade, one of those cars that was worth about a whole year at college, that was sitting outside of Mags' humble home. Annie knew Finnick's family had money, after all Mags had a live in helper, and Finnick had a near endless supply of funds dumping into his account, but still it was perhaps the most expensive looking car she had ever seen in her whole life.

Unsure of what to expect, Annie rang the doorbell.

9:14.

The door opened quickly, revealing Finnick who had two delicate little girls glued to his legs. Both with strawberry blonde curls and little smiles, one of them a bit littler then the other. Immediately Finnick gave her a tired smile and reached out to press a chaste kiss to her lips.

"Hey, Brooke, Adrienne. I would like you to meet a very special person." Finnick introduced to the two little girls, "This is Annie."

"You look like Jane from Tarzan!" The elder one, Brooke exclaimed. She wore a pair of jeans and a purple shirt with a dinosaur on it and had her curled hair back in a ponytail. Adrienne just stuck her thumb in her mouth and hid behind Finnick shyly.

"Hello." Annie croaked, and then immediately cleared her throat, embarrassed before she bent down and held up the bag of things she had brought. "I didn't know if you liked puzzles, but these are my favorite ones and brought some other things too. I thought we could do some together."

"Isn't that good, Adrienne? You love puzzles." Finnick asked and Adrienne nodded excitedly before they took the bag and walked down the hall, before she felt Finnick's hand touch hers and clench it. "Thank god you're here."

"Is everything okay?" Annie asked as they walked down the hall together.

"Just dandy." Finnick murmured, "I love you."

"Love you too." Annie said, mentally preparing herself for whatever was to come.

The living room and kitchen of Mags' house occupied by two adults. The man was well groomed and mild looking. The woman was elegant and sat the table sipping coffee. Annie immediately knew that this was Finnick's mother, based solely on her beauty and her air of professionalism. She looked up as Annie entered the room and she could feel Finnick's hand grip her.

"Mom, this is Annie." Finnick said, before his mother got up and smiled. It wasn't exactly a warm smile, but rather pensive. She held out her hand and Annie's skin crawled because Annie couldn't touch Finnick's mother's hand with her disgusting dirty ones.

"It's nice to meet you, Annie." Finnick's mom said, "You can call me Lynn."

"Mom." Finnick said warningly and immediately she retracted her hand.

"Right, forgive me. My son told me of your…limits." Lynn said uncomfortably, clearing her throat. "Well, please join us. Would you like some coffee perhaps?"

"No thank you, I've already had some this morning." Annie declined politely. "It's very nice to meet you, I've heard a lot about you. I read your articles that were published in Capitol Science."

"You did?" Lynn said surprised, "Science is something you are interested in then?"

"I'm not as much a biology person as I am a math person, but I'm majoring in engineering and interning with Hovercraft Inc."

"Aeronautical engineering then?" Lynn said, "Yes, I believe Finn mentioned something about that. Well, it always pleases me to hear about young women taking initiative and going into science professions, I have a fund-"

"Mom, she's my girlfriend, not a potential sponsor." Finnick chimed in and Kyle, or the man Annie presumed to be Kyle, Finnick's step-father sighed,

"Finn, do not try to provoke your mother."

"And you stop acting like my father." Finnick growled and Kyle sighed.

"It's that combative nature of yours when criticized that causes arguments, Finn." Kyle said and Finnick's face went red.

"Stop shrinking me, Dr. Turner."

"Finn Nicholas." Lynn said warningly before saying, "Well, I'm just happy that your choice in girls isn't lacking like it usually is."

Finnick flinched and Annie gaped, and Finnick opened his mouth to fire back before Brooke ran into the room.

"Ms. Annie, can you still come and play puzzles with us?" She asked shyly and Annie smiled and bent down, thankful for the much needed distraction from the horrifying conversation.

"It's just Annie, and I would be glad to." Annie said and walked behind Brooke and gave Finnick a look, only to have him motion her ahead.

Adrienne and Brooke were doing one of the picture puzzles she had brought, and were both rather good at it. Annie helped them along until a picture of the ocean was put together and the little girls decided to go through the bag for other things. The next thing they pulled out was a Rubik's cube and she smiled.

"Oh, nice choice." She said, offering her hand. "Give it here."

"What's that?" Brooke asked and Annie began to scramble the colors.

"A different sort of puzzle. I can do these pretty quick, want to see?" Annie offered and the two little girls nodded vigorously before Annie turned her eyes towards the cube. Puzzles were easy for her, always had been. Annie had always been good at seeing patterns and visualizing solutions, so by the time she got going she could already see it. Leftrightleftleftleftbluegreenyellowwhitewhitebluegreenredrednoleftright-

She held up the completed cube, and both of the girls squealed in delight.

9:47.

"Woah." Finnick's voice came from the door, "Annie, you finished that in like thirty seconds! That's awesome!"

Annie flushed and looked down at the finished cube in her hands and said,

"Well, I've practiced before."

"Every day I learn something new and awesome about you." Finnick said with a smile, sitting down next to her, before Adrienne jumped on him making him lift her up and kiss her, causing the little girl to giggle in delight. "I bet Annie didn't tell you the key to why she's so cool."

"Why?" Brooke asked conspiratorially.

"Because Annie's magic." Finnick said and both the little girls' eyes widened.

"Annie, you're magic?" Adrienne asked and Annie couldn't help but laugh.

"No, your brother is just being very silly. Like always." Annie explained, and she wanted to reach out and touch the little girl's curls and braid her hair just like her sister used to. But she couldn't because the idea of touching Finnick's little sister with hands like hers made her feel sick so she kept her hands on her lap.

"I want to go get my toys I brought! Can we play with those?" Brooke asked and Finnick smiled,

"Of course, go get them then." Finnick said and both girls ran out of the room and Annie immediately leaned against Finnick, placing her hand on his and interweaving their fingers.

"Dr. Turner?" Annie asked and Finnick sighed.

"He's a psychiatrist." Finnick said, "He used to be my childhood psychiatrist. I used to throw some pretty bad temper tantrums and parents thought it would help. That's where my mom met him. He was the guy she cheated on my dad with."

"Finnick…" Annie said gently and he gave a weird smile.

"I was the one who caught them too. It was pretty bad. I came home early from practice, and caught them making out, nearly naked and all. It screwed me up really bad, not just because she was cheating on my dad because their marriage had been on the rocks for a long time, but because I thought it was my fault. I think the worst part of it was that my mom begged me not to tell my dad about it, and I just couldn't stand it. I used to be really close to her, and I was so betrayed. I knew my family sucked, but it was like hitting the all-time low. And I was going through a lot of other stuff and that was really the last thing I needed." Finnick explained before saying, "You must think I'm really bitter to still be mad about it."

"No. I just think you're someone who was hurt badly." Annie told him gently, "Are you still mad at your mother?"

"Not as much anymore." Finnick said, "I mean, I did get two little sisters out of it who I love. But our relationship has never been the same, as you can see."

"Finny! I can't reach my teddy!" Adrienne's voice called from the other room and Annie smiled.

"You might want to go help them Finny." Annie teased and Finnick chuckled and leaned in to kiss her.

"You're going to pay for that later." He warned jokingly before going off to help his sisters.

* * *

The two days that Finnick's family visited were interesting to say the least.

The first day after all of the introductions were complete and the girls had settled they went to the Capitol Theater to see The Lion King. Brooke and Adrienne both very much enjoyed it, as well as Annie because she hadn't been to a musical for many years but the rest of the party was oddly tense. And that after they had dinner at Annie's house. Finnick's mother and stepfather were both charismatic just like Finnick, so her family liked them. It also helped their case that they had two adorable girls that her parents could fawn over. But Finnick mostly stayed quiet and to himself, and Annie was sure that she was the only one who can see it. Just seeing him almost shrink and look extremely uncomfortable at every comment, made her glad that his parents were only staying for another day.

It was the next day that everything came to a head. Finnick was helping out Mags and Kyle was with the girls, leaving Lynn and Annie alone in the kitchen. Annie was perfectly fine in silence, with an untouched cup of coffee because she hadn't seen Finnick's mother prepare it or seen it get washed and she was only okay with it if she could see it happening or if she trusted the person making her whatever was to be consumed and she didn't trust Finnick's mother, that calculating look and her imposing tone of voice that sent shivers down her spine but immediately Lynn began to speak.

"So, Finnick mentioned something about you having an anxiety disorder. Is it self-diagnosed?" Lynn asked, and Annie felt herself prickle at her tone. It as if she was suggesting that her disease was something made up before hearing what it was about, and coming to conculsions about her before getting to know her. And making assumption was something Annie absolutely could not stand because it so often became the cause of great misunderstandings.

"I've been diagnosed since 5th grade and undergoing treatment." Annie explained, not sure if there was a more awkward conversation to be having with your boyfriend's mother.

"For which one, might I ask?"

"OCD." Annie answered quietly.

11:01.

Three. A bad odd prime number and certainly it couldn't get worse than that, she thought distressed. How on Earth was she supposed to salvage the conversation now?

"Ah, I see. Your idiosyncrasies do make sense then." Lynn said and Annie immediately felt her brain going into over drive because she hadn't done anything that abnormal, but at that point her judgment must have been skewed because she hadn't lived in the realm of normal for a long time, and what were the idiosyncrasies that Lynn was talking about? "Well, I suppose genius does come with its caveats."

"Genius?" Annie asked confused and Lynn rolled her eyes.

"I did do some primary research. I wasn't going to come here without knowing the facts." Lynn said before continuing, "As of the moment you are the summa cum laude of your class, taking some of the most difficult sciences and excelling in all of them."

"I am definitely not a genius." Annie said with a sigh, "Or at least I do not view myself as such."

"In any case, you do realize I have to wonder why you are in a relationship with my son." Lynn concluded and Annie blinked.

"What? Why I'm in a relationship with him? Because I like him." Annie answered honestly.

"You two are very different. My son is an idealist with a dream…well, a career in sports isn't a tangible career path. I told him it was fine to continue swimming in college, but to focus his energies on a career path that would suit someone in our family. Instead he decides to make his major in education. An honorable profession yes, but not a profitable one you see. And he mostly just getting that degree for show and will go on to train. My ex-husband lets him get away with anything, even funding this excursion to spite me and my wishes. But I've made Finnick aware that after senior year if he decides to continue ahead with this fanciful idea of his that he'll be an Olympic swimmer, then I'll cut him off. So, I warn you now. If you are just with my son for the money, I would just break up with him now and save yourself the hassle." Lynn told her and Annie was absolutely outraged because this was Finnick's dream. What Finnick ate, slept, and breathed every day. The dream of going to the Olympics and winning the gold medal, and his mother wanted to take that away from him, but instead of screaming at her and yelling all Annie did was look her in the eye.

"You don't need to worry about Finnick and his funds. I'll be happy to support Finnick and his dream."

"You can't be serious." Lynn said and Annie just stared her down.

"Finnick's dream is important to me, and after college I already have employment as an engineer as promised at Hovercraft Inc. which is a well-known establishment. As an engineer, I'll certainly have the means to help Finnick. So if you wish, go forward with your plans, because unlike you I'll continue to support my commitment."

"You are a young woman with a lot of promise. You should not be holding yourself back-"

"I am not being held back. Finnick's dream is something important to the both of us. And I'd like you to start treating it as such."

"You need to-"

The door from Mags' room suddenly opened and Annie looked only to see Finnick with a strange look on his face standing in the hall.

"Finn!" Lynn said, surprised and horrified before Finnick marched into the kitchen, grabbed Annie by the hand and began yanking her out the door and down the hall, past Mags who gave a knowing sort of look and went back into the kitchen to talk to Finnick's nearly hysterical sounding mother.

"Finnick! Finnick, stop!" Annie said, before he yanked her into the bedroom and slammed the door shut, before grabbing her and pulling her into a tight hug.

"Annie!" He half-sobbed, crushing her in his strong embrace.

"Finnick." Annie said, touching his back. "Finnick, you're holding me too tight."

"Thank you." Finnick sobbed against her hair, "Thank you, Annie. Thank you so much."

"I haven't done anything." Annie said gently.

"You've done everything." Finnick said, before whispering again and again between desperate kisses, "Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you, Annie."

"I love you too, Finnick." Annie said softly.

Finnick immediately pulled her into a soul-scorching kiss. So achingly desperate and needy that her knees went weak and all Annie could do was clutch onto him as he continued to totally ravage her mouth before he reached down underneath her skirt to press his fingers in, causing her to gasp loudly and clench her teeth as his fingers curled inside of her and brushed the place that made her toes curl.

"You're already wet." Finnick observed as she shivered and gasped.

"Your family is outside the door!" Annie said worriedly and Finnick gave a feral laugh.

"Right now, I really give no fucks about that. The love of my life just verbally bitch slapped my mom and you've got me totally giddy." Finnick chuckled as his fingers continued to move and his free hand opened her blouse so he could get his mouth on her breast. "God, Annie. Marry me!"

"What?" Annie demanded as unzipped his pants and gave him a squeeze, making him grunt before he pulled his mouth from her and gave her a grin.

"I would totally marry you right now."

"No way in hell." Annie said, feeling her skin flush as he kissed up her chest, and pulled down her panties. At that point she was absolutely soaked and she had about a million things on her mind because she needed to wash off after sex and she didn't have anything to change into but it felt so goddamn good that she didn't even want to stop. "My dad would filet you."

"Then how about in two years?" Finnick asked as he hoisted her up, her back against the door. "Can I put it in?"

"I'm on the pill, yeah I'm safe. But why in-ugh!" She began to ask before Finnick began to slide into place. "Finnick!"

Sh!" Finnick half-giggled before smiling at her goofily. "In two years, that's when I'll win my gold medal. As soon as I do, I'll run right over to you, get down on one knee and pop the question. In two years, will you marry me?"

"You-you can't ask me that!" Annie said between gasps as Finnick began to thrust furiously inside of her, as Annie wrapped her legs around his hips and her arms around his neck as he grabbed her ass and furiously pounded her into a giant blob of mush as he changed the angle just right. "There's…there's too much time…oh God right there!"

"Shit!" He growled out between clenched teeth, "Shit Annie, not so tight!"

"Finnick, I love you." She said between hitched gasped as he continued to thrust in, catching his mouth and swirling her tongue with his as she felt him grown larger inside of her.

"I love you too, Annie. So much. In two years, please Annie." He begged her before dropping her and turning her so he was going at it with from behind. The sound of him smacking against her was loud and she was sure his family could hear it but she didn't care because Finnick's mouth was tugging on her ear and kissing her neck.

"Yes! Yes, in two years. In two years, Finnick." Annie said before she felt Finnick reach down to rub her clit, making her thrust back against his hips.

"Shit! Annie, I'm coming! Can I come inside?" He groaned and she gasped as he continued to drive her against the door.

"Yes! Please, please Finnick!" She begged before she felt Finnick put his hands on her hips and ram inside with such force that it jolted her before she felt warmth flood her insides and electricity shoot through her veins as suddenly she lacked all the bones in her body.

"Oh God…" He groaned as he thrusted shallowly through the aftershocks, rocking her to the rhythm before half collapsing on her back. By the time both of them had caught their breath Annie turned as Finnick pulled out of her and gave her a smile. "So…are you still up for marrying me in two years, or was that spur of the moment?"

"Go shove a sock in it O'Daire." Annie said, lightly punching his arm before motioning to her complete disarray. "I don't have anything to shower with here."

"I've got extra sweatpants and tee-shirts. And Mags has got shampoo and stuff." Finnick said before Annie sighed as she felt Finnick's seed drip down her thighs and Finnick just looked hypnotized. "Shit, that's like super hot."

Annie was about to punch him again when they heard a voice outside the door.

"Finn Nicholas O'Daire Jr., you come out here." His mother said, and Annie motioned desperately as he pulled up his boxers, and zipped up his pants and Annie ducked behind the wall as he went out and closed the door, trying to reposition her bra and rebutton her blouse but it was no use because onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnine eight is good, seven is bad because it is odd and prime, but nine is okay because it is divisible by three, she needed to go home and then she would make the bed, with her sheets and covers, put away her clothes, put on her robe and grab her towel, she would wash her hair right to left and her body from down to up because that was right and dried from down to up and brush her teeth and floss and use Listerine and then she would wash her hands and get dressed in her pjs.

"Finn, listen I didn't mean-" Lynn cut off quickly before sucking in a deep breath, "What on Earth were you doing in there?!"

"Besides the point." Finnick pointed out, "Mom. I know that swimming isn't what you want. But honestly I don't really care about what you want. This is my life, and my decisions. If you only want to criticize me, then please don't bother contacting me. And feel free to stop paying for my education. I'll manage fine."

"But Finn, be reasonable." His mother pleaded but Finnick sighed.

"I am being reasonable. I love you, but it's got to stop." Finnick said, "It's just got to."

"And what about that girl?"

"That girl is someone I love who supports my dream and I support hers."

"And you think she can fix you, Finn? Is that what this is about? She's broken and you're broken and you'll just help each other. Finn I know-"

"Please stop making assumptions." Finnick said firmly, "Now, I would like you to leave."

"But-"

"Please, Mom." Finn said.

That was the end of the conversation. Only an hour after that Finnick's family left, after Finnick had kissed both Adrienne and Brooke goodbye and gave his step-father a tentative hand shake while his mother and him shared a look before they drove off towards New York. Mags eloquently reached over and smacked Finnick upside the head causing Finnick to jerk.

"What was that for?" He demanded, rubbing his head and Mags just put her hand on her hip.

"You know what that's for!" Mags said before looking at Annie, "And you too. Make sure whatever mess you made in my guest bedroom is cleaned up."

"Yes Grandma." Finnick said strangely nonplussed as Annie spluttered and put her head in her hands because she just couldn't take the embarrassment because Mags knew that they had sex and it was downright horrifying.

"Kill me. Just put me out of my misery." Annie announced and Finnick put an arm around her waist.

"All in all, that was a pretty good visit." Finnick said and stared at him with a gaping mouth.

"You're kidding right?"

"Mom got mad at me, check. Hung out with my sisters, check. Had furious animal sex in my Grandma's house, check. I would say that it was a job well done on both our parts. Normally at least three things get set on fire and I attempt to drown myself in the sink." Finnick teased and she jabbed him in the ribs before marching into the house.

"I'm never talking to you again!"

"You might have to, we're getting married in two years!"

"Yeah. Right!" Annie called back, "Don't forget its two years away! I might dump your ass for a sexy British guy or run off to the Caiman Islands."

"Well, at least it would be a good story." Finnick said with a bright smile.

Annie had forgotten how well a smile suited him, and decided that in two years what Finnick was purposing might be a good plan.


	11. When I waked, I cried to dream again (OUTTAKE)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bet you weren't expecting this, huh? I wanted to write a different chapter. I tried so hard, but it wasn't happening so this is what came naturally. I hope you enjoy Finnick's POV as an outtake of LS. It also lends itself to further the mystery. The mystery that has been going on in LS since the start if you haven't been catching the dropped hints.
> 
> It'll all be revealed soon! There aren't many chapters left of this fic because it only goes up to the Olympics and a prolouge, after all. Which makes me sad because this is one of my favorite fanfics I've ever written.
> 
> Reference includes:  
> The Tempest by William Shakespeare and obviously HG by Suzanne Collins, two things I do not own.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you all enjoy and have a good day!~OMGitsgreen

_Light filled him as he stood up on that pedestal, the pedestal he had been born to stand on. He could feel the weight of the gold medal around his neck, hear the national anthem playing as the flag raised and how the crowd went crazy and the cameras flashed and clicked as they captured his great victory.. He could almost taste his tears because he had done it, he had won a gold medal at the Olympics. He was the best of the best and no one could take that away from him anymore. His dream had come true, everything he had aimed for, the reason for his life was finally realized. Everything thing he had endured was worth this single moment that he wished would go on forever. And as he took in the scene he saw a flash of vibrant green eyes-_

Finnick groaned as his phone's alarm went off by his ear, awakening him from his dream that he was quickly losing grasp of. He immediately wondered what kind of excuse he could come up with to get out of swim practice that day, since he was still suffering from jetlag from the plane ride back from World's. That whole experience was something he wanted to forget, because even though he hadn't done bad, all his swims had been flat and he hadn't shaved time off of his 100 backstroke like he wanted too.

Finnick sighed as he got up, trying to ignore the soreness of his muscles from being cramped into the airplane for so long and trudged over to grab his backpack, which he had packed the previous night with his school stuff and the clothes he would change into after practice. He didn't normally bother getting out of his pajamas, which mostly were tee shirts and shorts when he was walking over to lift and then to practice, what would be the point anyways?

It was cold outside, but Finnick tried to ignore it as he walked over to the facility as he was unsuccessfully also trying to ignore the fact that it was only 6:45 and he was absolutely exhausted. Some days he had to get to practice by 6:00, but that was a lift day so instead he made sure he got to the training room on time otherwise the lift coaches would have a fit. The other guys who were scheduled for the same time smiled and greeted him as he got his work out card and began to lift. Pushing himself to the limits of his muscles, his lifting coaches egging on sweat poured down his face in rivers and every bone in his body was screaming at him for a rest but Finnick couldn't let them until they had been demolished and rebuilt into something better.

After a solid hour of that, Finnick made sure to grab his energy bar from his bag and scarf it down before shrugging out of his training gear and getting into his swim suit for morning practice. The other kids on the swim team who were there happily welcomed him back, and Finnick tried his best just to put his head down and get on with the daily grind.

Around 6200 meters later he dragged himself out of the pool and into the locker room and into the shower, trying to wash the chlorine off as much as possible, but knowing that he would forever smell of the stuff. It was when he got to his locker and began getting changed that the other guys began talking to him.

"Awesome job at World's, man." An amiable upperclassman named Rich told him, giving Finnick's aching shoulder a pat. "Your times are so fucking sick."

 _No._ A part of him screamed. _No they were just good. They weren't good enough. And every time I'm not good enough I lose, and I can't stand it. Failure is not an option. My turns need to be tighter, my arm stroke can be more efficient if I just pulled to my side with more force, and I always screw up my start. I need to be better. I need to be better. I need to be the best._

"Thanks." Finnick said, the smile on his face natural. "It's good to be home though. That plane ride was a bitch."

"I can imagine. Dude, I hate flying." Another guy chimed in before Finnick checked the time and nearly started.

"Fuck." He said, panicked as he hopped and tried to pull his jeans up his wet legs and hurriedly tossed on his plaid shirt over his tee shirt, "I'm going to be late for class."

"Good luck man. That Shakespeare class is easy. You'll do fine." Rich said before Finnick grabbed his back pack and nearly ran out of the athletic complex and down the street to the performing arts center.

By the time he finally got to the hallway where his class was taking place it was 11:20, and Miss Trinket was waiting outside the door wearing the most ridiculous outfit he had ever seen, gaudy sparkling gold stilettos with huge pink bows, not to be overshadowed by the hot pink pencil skirt, cream colored blouse, and hot pink wig. What this lady thought she was dressing up for was beyond him, but he smiled pleasantly and watched as she blushed.

"Oh my, what a handsome young man you are! Congratulations on all your success, so far Finn. I've been made aware of your situation, and please know that you can count on me for anything you need." She said in a strangely aloof accent, while Finnick tried not to raise a brow.

"Thank you very much Miss Trinket."

"Just Effie is fine dear. I'll go introduce your situation to the class and then you can come in." Effie said before disappearing to address the class and then call him in. He walked I confidently, because after all why wouldn't he? Effie continued on with the greeting as Finn scanned the classroom, looking for people he might know or girls he might want to get to know while the classroom was filled with whispers, but suddenly whatever Effie was saying was totally lost on him as he caught a glimpse of her while he was dismissed to his seat but he could barely pay attention to the class because someone else had caught his eye.

The first thing that popped into Finnick's mind when he saw her was that she was elegant. Yeah, elegant. The word seemed to describe her perfectly. She moved meaningfully, every action taken deliberately. She spoke sparingly as well, to a girl that Finnick swore he knew from athletic meetings and whatnot, and her voice. God, her voice was something out of a dream, clear and gentle, every word formed over perfectly white teeth and tongued through delectable looking lips. The side view of her profile was great too, he thought. Her hair was dark with highlight of red in the sunlight, and thick and fulls of waves and kinks and curls that Finnick's fingers itched to comb through, her skin was the color of cream, perfectly off set by the pink sweater she was wearing, and her face was something to be adored. Heart shaped, with a button nose, high cheek bones, and almond shaped eyes that were a vivid green he swore could have only been imagined up in a dream.

And damnit he wanted it all, he wanted that girl in his bed with the gorgeous hair spilling across his pillows, and to make her skin flush red and to watch her face twist with pleasure as he-

And then he internally flipped out.

Finnick Odair didn't like girls like her, he had to forcibly remind himself. He liked girls he could have one night stand with, tall busty blondes whose names he could forget in the morning…didn't he? This girl was so much the opposite of all of that, but still so inexplicably gorgeous that it threw him off.

So for two weeks while he toiled away at his practices trying to come up with ideas on how to approach her, and sat in the same class he waited for a chance to talk to her, or waiting until she talked to him but nothing he did to garner her attention seemed to work. And she never went out of her way to talk to him either, remained almost reclusive. Instead of socializing like many others in the introduction class, she only spoke a little bit to Johanna Mason who seemed to be able to communicate with her even without speaking, she came to class, took notes, only answered when called on, and left quickly soon after.

Finnick was getting the feeling that he wouldn't ever get an opportunity to speak with her until one day when he was walking around the library, looking for a place to sit when he nearly passed out from pure shock and nervousness when he saw her working at one of the tables, her materials perfectly spread out in front of her and her eyes nearly glued upon the whatever she was working on. Finally working up the nerve to talk to her, he walked up to the desk she was at as confidently as he could.

"You're in my Shakespearean theatre class right?" Finnick asked the girl who looked up at him, and immediately he noticed how absolutely exhausted she looked and regretted bothering her. But she didn't look nervous or intrigued or anything like girls normally acted when he talked to them. Instead her eyes darted anywhere that wasn't his face before settling down.

"Yeah, I think so." The girl said, her voice even more heavenly up close. It put whatever fantasies he had been concocting of her at night in the shower to shame.

"I'm Finnick, nice to meet you." He said, sticking his hand out and turning on his megawatt smile that never failed, because it was perfectly calculated. He had already thought of a plan, because he was meticulous when it came to things he wanted. To her he would be the hardworking likeable type, he would get her to feel like she needed to care for him, and he would get her in his bed by the end of the week. She was obviously shy, but he normally could power through something like that easily with a little extra effort. But instead of smiling and offering her hand, she sat there rigidly and blinked as though she was confused.

"I thought your name was Finn." She said with a frown, and he was befuddled at the reaction and pulled back his hand. Trying not to let the fact he was slightly shaken up creep onto his face he followed the comment magnificently,

"It is Finn. Finn Nicholas O'Daire Jr. My dad's Finn Nicholas O'Daire Sr. But anyways, when I was a kid, back in my eight and under swim team days whenever my mom would get upset at me for screwing around she would always call me by my whole name, eventually Finn Nicholas just sort of ran together and everyone started calling me Finnick." Finnick explained, the story normally a sure fire way to get girls interested.

"That's cute." She blurted out, before biting her lip and causing Finnick to burst out into genuine laughter not the fake, forced laughter he usually fell into, because this girl was the cute one. Cute in the way she flushed and nervously tugged at her hair, and how she was wearing one of those oversized cardigans and a light blue cami that made her bust look totally fantastic in a way that was classy and yet sexy. And sensing an opportunity he immediately capitalized on it,

"Why thank you." Finnick said, "Now since you think my name is cute I have the ability to pass judgment on yours."

"Annabel Evelyn Cresta. But everyone calls me Annie." The girl-Annie introduced and Finnick smiled widely.

"Annie." He said, allowing it to roll over his tongue because it was a good name and it suited her, "I like it."

"It's an old person name." Annie protested obviously embarrassed and Finnick's smile got even larger.

"It's a classic." Finnick argued and Annie sighed almost tiredly and sensing that the good mood he had made was about to go away he came up with an excuse on the fly, "Well, since we're not on a first name basis, do you think I could ask you for a favor?"

"Depends on the favor." Annie responded curtly.

"You wouldn't happen to have the notes from last Wednesday would you?" He asked, "I missed class because of a swim meet, and we have a quiz on the stuff on Monday. If there's any way I can borrow them-"

Annie immediately held out her notebook, and Finnick noticed the band aids on her fingers and the general rough shape they were in. Had she fallen?

"I can photocopy it for you, if you want." Annie said and he felt a twinge of gratefulness to her, because she obviously had no hesitation when it came to helping others, and that was a trait he envied.

"Do you think I could just copy them? I learn better when I write stuff down." Finnick asked innocently, trying his best to monopolize her time and she sighed.

"Go ahead. Just don't…get anything on it?"

"Of course! I promise." Finnick said sincerely before adding, "You're a life saver."

Annie rolled her eyes and continued with what looked like math homework, while Finnick quickly flipped through the notebook before nearly feeling his jaw drop onto the table. Her hand writing was perfect, her notes were highlighted according to a key on the front, and what looked like post-it notes scribbled with net addresses filled up space at the bottom of the pages. He was looking at something that was so meticulous that if every one of her notebooks looked that way he could only imagine that she had a 4.0 GPA.

Damn it, he thought, frustrated with himself.

Guilt immediately flooded him. Mostly because he was unable to hold back his respect for her, and he couldn't look at her like a girl to conquer anymore because she was the real deal. He barely ever came across someone who actually worked hard, most people didn't. Life was full of people just going along for the ride, who put in just enough effort to get by and their lives were just easy. But Finnick's life had never been easy, and he hated those people though he could never show that. Being liked was the only way to get anywhere in this world. It was how the coaches he had swam for decided who they would focus on, or how people could make money, so he had to put on the good face. But this girl wasn't like that. Annie Cresta was like the real him. And maybe that was why he was attracted to her, because there was something similar to him inside of her.

"Holy shit. These are like beautiful, and so neat! Your handwriting is like amazing, and you've even got it color coded…with book and internet references!" Finnick exclaimed with real praise, "You're like a God!"

"Thank you…?" Annie said, her cream skin flushing as if she wasn't used to compliments.

"Do you think I could just photocopy your whole notebook and use it as my bible for this class?" Finnick asked and Annie just gave him sort of an incredulous look.

"The class is pretty easy, don't you think?" Annie asked, "I mean, I'm not good at that sort of stuff by any means but…"

Shit. He thought, he didn't want her to think of him as a stupid jock. There had to be a way to get out of that stereotype.

"It would be easy if I could be there more often. I'm always away at meets and shit." Finnick lied with a smile, "It's pretty hard actually. I have to go to tutoring and stuff a lot, because swimming takes up a ton of my time and I'm not good at studying at all. And this class doesn't have any tutors or anything."

"Whenever you're going to meets…just let me know. I can print you out of my notes and help you out with assignments." Annie said, looking down and clutching her pencil in that pale, slender hand of hers.

Finnick was filled with a strange warm that touched him deep down inside. Normally he was filled with nothing. Everything just sort of skirted across the surface and never scratched any deeper. Maybe he had become like that so he would never feel the sting of disappointment again. Competition was good for that though, it filled him up easily and gave him somewhere to redirect life's disappointment and anger so he didn't have to store it inside of himself anymore. Because he had known that if again it all became too much that he wouldn't survive it like he had the last time. But for some reason he got the strange idea that this girl would get it. Almost like they were kindred spirits of some sort.

Finnick resisted the urge to roll his eyes at himself. He no longer had the urge to make Annie Cresta one of his friends with benefits. But hopefully, he thought, maybe they could become something like actual friends. Besides Peeta and his teammates on the swim team, he didn't really have many of those.

"That would be amazing, thank you so much. You really are nice Annie." Finnick told her, with the realest smile he had given another person in a long while.

"Don't thank me. It's not a big deal." Annie dismissed him with a little smile of her own.

Finnick found that he really liked that smile.

* * *

Her lips had been as perfect as he thought they would be. Finnick thought as he lay on the floor in the living room and stared up at the ceiling after their first date. The date itself had been perfect, he had held her hand, she had laughed at his dumb jokes and he had told stories he hadn't told anyone else, and she had let him into the side of her that he hadn't known before.

Firstly, she was incredibly intelligent. But popular to what she led people to believe she was good at every subject though she obviously favored sciences and math. She was also helpful and caring, always ready to go out of her way for someone if they needed her. She was also a private person. He had known that, but had just assumed that she was just shy. Normally when Finnick talked to someone he could get their life story within five minutes, but Annie was just naturally reserved and he had only know the basics until they were on their date and then she had opened up to him as if to show how much she trusted him, and God, she had bloomed like a flower and she just looked so light and happy and Finnick wanted to do whatever he could to make her laugh and smile like she had that night, and then blush as she had while he leaned down to kiss her.

He kept reliving the moment again and again, the feather soft, chaste kiss between them had filled him with such desire that he now lay there in an almost feverish state because he couldn't go back anymore. Back to the time before Annie Cresta. Her lips, gorgeous, with the taste of mint still lingering on his tongue, the way her cool fingers had barely brushed his own as she trusted him with touch, something he had never known could be so precious, and it had sent his soul on fire and now only the charred remnants of the person who had formally been called Finnick Odair remained.

"You okay, Finnick?" Peeta asked, his head popped into his view, his blue eyes crinkled with not only amusement but a little concern. "You look like you're running a fever."

"It's bad, Peeta." Finnick said covering his eyes, "I don't feel like myself anymore. Hell, I don't even know who myself is anymore!"

"Woah. Calm down there Louis Winthrope III. What's going on?" Peeta asked as Finnick continued to have a mental breakdown on the floor of their apartment.

"Do we have anymore beer?"

"Dude, you have a meet in a few days. No drinking."

"I can't do this feelings stuff sober, man. I can't do…this!" Finnick said, sitting up and manically waving his arms around before Peeta just sat on the couch.

"Do what?"

"I….I don't know man, I'm fucked. I'm seriously fucked." Finnick said, crossing his legs. "I'm having an identity crisis and I'm only 20."

"Did your date go south or something?" Peeta asked and Finnick shook his head.

"No, man. It was perfect. She's perfect. Well, not perfect but like…amazing. Beyond amazing. She's smart and intelligent and caring and she's fucking downright gorgeous, and she's so humble and she listens, man. She just gets me and I get her. Like, I know what she's about and she knows what I'm about and we can just chill. I thought at first that maybe the OCD thing would be weird, because you know it affects her. But it just makes her so strong, man." Finnick blathered on, the words coming out of his mouth like vomit and he couldn't stop them.

"Well that's good right?" Peeta said, "What's the issue?"

"We kissed, man."

"Well…don't you normally kiss the girls you go out with?"

"It wasn't a normal kind of kiss! It was the best kiss of my entire fucking life, and there was no tongue and no heavy petting and no fucking. It was just her and me and it was innocent. I haven't kissed anyone like that since I was like fourteen. But my heart stopped, dude. My heart stopped, and I got butterflies, and all that other stupid shit that you hear about in movies that doesn't actually exist in real life. I got all of that stuff! What the hell am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know, kiss her again?" Peeta offered sarcastically and Finnick rolled his eyes and fell backwards again.

"You don't understand what I'm saying."

"Actually I do. Finnick Odair, whose worse fear is commitment is head over heels in love with Annie Cresta and he doesn't want to admit it to himself."

"I'm…I'm not in love with her." Finnick said sharply, "I just really like her is all."

"Yeah, right. Finnick, you've puppy eyed this girl for the past month or so. All you've been thinking about and talking about is her. You went on a date and kissed her and you liked it because you love her, and I'm glad because for once you like an honestly nice girl who's good for you."

"I can't love her, man. I didn't love her yesterday…I think."

"Well you love her today. It's like that quote. The whole thing about how falling in love is like falling asleep. Slowly, and then all at once." Peeta told him and Finnick just looked up at the fan that was slowly turning again and again overhead, rustling the magazine on the coffee table beside him.

"What the hell am I supposed to think? She crept up on me?"

"Don't think. Just love her, man."

" _When I waked, I cried to dream again._ " Finnick murmured, and Peeta stared at him like he had grown another head.

"What the hell is that from?"

"It's Shakespeare, idiot." Finnick said with a roll of the eyes.

"Not any Shakespeare I've read."

"It's from The Tempest. You never read The Tempest?"

"No. Did you read that in your Shakespeare class?"

"Nah. It's not a tragedy. It's a comedy. It's about the wizard and his daughter that are trapped on an island with a monster. The wizard calls a storm and shipwrecks a bunch of people including a prince I think, and he makes his daughter and the prince fall in love so they can leave. And then they do, and the monster gets his island back and everyone lives happily ever after. My English class in high school put it on and I was stuck playing the monster character Caliban because I was the tallest and they thought I'd be scary or something but I just looked ridiculous and my parents didn't show up and it's up there with the worst days of my life. But anyways, it's like the worst Shakespeare play ever."

"Why? They all got their happy ending didn't they?"

"That's why it's stupid. Life doesn't work like that." Finnick sighed before saying, "But…I always liked that quote, even though the play is so stupid."

"What does it mean?"

"It's when Caliban, is talking about how beautiful the isle he lives on is and how that island being his is his dream, and how he never wants to let it go. I don't know why I remember it. It's so dumb." Finnick murmured, before Peeta sighed,

"You still want that beer?"

"Yes please." Finnick said as his roommate got up to grab two cans from the fridge and place one down by Finnick's head, though he made no move to drink it. "Am I pathetic?"

"No." Peeta said, "Contrary to popular belief, you are just a human."

"Peeta…I don't want this to end up like my parents." Finnick said, "But it's so good that it has to, right? Life isn't like that dumb play. No one ever gets what they want."

"That's not always true, Finn." Peeta said, sitting next to him.

"You're right. I can't afford to think like that. I've got a dream." Finnick said quietly, before sitting up and cracking open his beer and clinking it against Peeta's.

He had one single dream. The Olympics, a gold medal. Put now it wasn't just that. He had another dream to, and though it was foggy and not yet taken a solid shape, it was as real and as powerful as the dream that had brought him through the darkest night when he had thought he wouldn't pull through. And it had something to do with a future life with Annie Cresta.

He closed his eyes and smiled.

* * *

Finnick woke up to the feeling of someone rustling his sheets. He opened his eyes to see Annie in a rather appealing outfit, of what Finnick swore was one of his cardigans, a blue one which she wore a striped white and navy shirt, and leggings because Finnick knew her calendar dictated that she wore blue that day and he always made sure that her stuff was clean so she didn't have to worry about missing a day when she was busy with her rigorous course load. Her hair was twisted into a bun at the nape of her neck like she did when she was working on a lab, and she wore only the slightest hints of makeup.

"Good morning sleepy head." She greeted, playing with his hair like she knew he obviously liked.

"What time is it?" Finnick asked, not bothering to get up and Annie smiled though her eyes flitted to the well-worn watch which was always upon her wrist. For her birthday he had been eyeing some new Michael Kors models that he could get for their two year anniversary, because he knew how vital a watch was to her day and how much she would appreciate it and give him that smile that he loved. If he could give her any reason to smile, he would.

"10:17." Annie said, "I didn't want to wake you this morning, though you were dead asleep so it didn't really matter. You didn't have practice so I thought I'd let you rest."

"Well, you did rock my body right last night so I'm not sure how much rest I got." Finnick chuckled motioning to his general nakedness, causing Annie to flush and not to respond as she bit her lip as she always did when he teased her. Even after two years of dating Annie still shied away from those sorts of remarks, even though at least two times a week he was getting the best sex of his entire life. So instead of continuing on he moved on to the next topic of importance, "How did your lab go?"

"It was good. I got done early, so that's why I'm back." She said proudly, "I got it right too, and my professor loved my write up from last time."

"That's awesome, Annie." Finnick enthused, and her smile got bigger and filled her face with such warmth and soothed the stress she always held in her features.

"You were muttering in your sleep when I came in. What were you dreaming about?" Annie asked curiously, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Just…it's weird."

"What? I doubt I'd find anything that weird."

" _Be not afeard: the isle is full of noises, Sounds of sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not. Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices, that, if I then had waked after long sleep, will make me sleep again: and then, in dreaming, the clouds methought would open and show riches ready to drop upon me that, when I waked, I cried to dream again._ " Finnick said, and Annie's eyes went wide.

"The Tempest?" Annie asked curiously and Finnick blinked.

"You know it?"

"Of course. It's one of Shakespeare's plays." Annie said before saying as she reached out to touch his hand. It used to be such a struggle, and yet at that moment it seemed to be the most natural thing in the entire world. "It's one of the only ones I actually liked."

"Why?" Finnick asked and she gave him a gentle look.

"Because everyone's dream came true. I hope for that every day, that if anything happens, that your dream comes true." Annie told him, and Finnick felt as if his throat was clogging and his eyes were stinging.

"What if I don't deserve it?"

"You do." Annie said firmly, "Out of anyone, you do."

"I'm not that good you know." Finnick admitted, "I'm actually a terrible person."

"No. You're just a person. You just happen to be one of my favorite people." Annie pointed out, leaning over to kiss him, and her lips felt so right.

"What if I don't do it Annie?" He asked, revealing the deepest secret of his heart, because for all of the bravado and everything else he was so scared that one day he would have to give up the dream he had been living for, living in, and what kind of life could he live after being awoken from such a dream?

"Then I'll still love you, and you'll just try again in four more years." Annie said confidently, "And I'll support you no matter what."

"Thank you." Finnick told her and she reached out to hug him, holding her against him in a way that could soothe all hurts. "You'll still marry me right, even if I don't do it?"

"What a stupid question. I didn't fall in love with you because of your swimming skills, you idiot." Annie said continuing to press kisses against his mouth as he wrapped his arm around her tightly.

"I love you too, Ann." Finnick told her because it was so true. Even though he might not have loved her at the start, his love had grown and was still growing every time he woke up beside her or every time he took that small hand inside hers. Because he had two dreams, one dream of the Olympics, the dream that had kept him alive, and the other a dream he kept close to his heart except in these moments with Annie, a dream that gave him new life and new meaning. A dream that maybe was even more precious. A dream of a life together with Annie, a life where they were both healthy and could be happy. It wasn't a terrible unique dream, but it was his, and he hoped that it was shared with her.

And it was that dream that he hoped he would never wake from.


	12. Boundless as the Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "However, having lived in a world so out of her control for most of her life, she just wanted to be able to be in command of herself." A young woman living and struggling with OCD, falls in love with a young man chasing his dreams. But life isn't as simple as just that. Modern AU Odesta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not even going to give an excuse for the horrendous lateness of this update except the obvious: That life sucks and sometimes you can't write fanfiction because you have sports and school work to attend to first which isn't as fun but still as important.
> 
> So I guess the general theme of this chapter was overcoming adversity. Which is super cheesy but a very nice sentiment.
> 
> Three chapters left in this fic, hooray! Plus maybe an epilogue.
> 
> But in any case, be expecting a few things from me this month. First, a holiday fic from Adriftverse. Second, maybe a 500th review special for Reaching You because even beyond my wildest expectations Reaching You has reached over 500 reviews which is absolutely crazy and I'm so thankful to everyone who has ever reviewed any of my fics. I absolutely love responding to all my reviewers who I always refer to as my fanfic friends. An update to TNTE, and finally fic that I posted for Fandom4lls. On top of school and other things. Hurray.
> 
> Anyways, I hoped all of you enjoyed this chapter. Leave a review, and favorite or an alert. And until next time~OMGitsgreen

"So I was thinking…" Finnick began and immediately Annie sighed.

"That's never a good way to start a sentence." She observed, taking a sip of her coffee.

They were both sitting at their regular table at Mellark's, Annie with her cheese bun and Finnick with a chicken parmesan calzone, some sort of chocolate éclair, and his signature froo-froo Frappuccino, while Annie finished typing out her advanced physics lab report on her laptop. Most of the time they just enjoyed each other's company, but Finnick had reached out and grasped her hand, and though Annie tried to appear normal the feeling of him gently playing with her hand was making her nervous as he looked at her with a serious expression and all Annie could do was see the image of Finnick getting up and leaving her flash in front of her eyes again and again even though she knew that was stupid because they were good. Better than good, actually. The past few months had been some of the best of her life, as far as she could tell. Not just because she had a boyfriend or something, but because Finnick had a way of cheering her up even on her worst days. But the positive thinking her therapist had encouraged her to do still did nothing to calm the onslaught of anxiety.

"Always glass half empty." He teased before saying, "I know you want to come with me to Omaha."

12:47.

"You want me to do what?" She asked, wondering if she was hearing things and needed to add that to the laundry list of things that she needed to discuss with her psychiatrist. Instead, Finnick just cracked a wide smile.

"You. Me. In Omaha for Olympic Trials." Finnick said as if reminding her of something extremely simple like the alphabet, "You know, where I have to go to make the Olympics."

"And how do you expect me to get to Nebraska?" Annie asked him, eyebrows raised.

"We'll fly of course." Finnick said as if it was just as easy as that but it wasn't as easy as that, of course because Annie couldn't fly because she'd never been on an airplane before and what if she booked a wrong flight or her luggage got lost or the plane crashed and at the airport there were so many people and crowds that just touched everything and-and-

She took a deep breath, not allowing panic to seep into her conscious and ruin her decision making before saying,

"No way."

"Come on, what's so bad about flying?" Finnick asked, "I thought you weren't scared of heights."

"Well how about the fact that I've never flown before!" Annie said defensively, "And I like my feet planted firmly on the ground."

"You do realize that you're way more likely to be in a car accident, right?" Finnick reminded her, but she wasn't having it.

"I'm a good driver." Annie said as she crossed her arms over her chest, "And besides, tickets are probably expensive."

"I'd take care of that." Finnick offered her with a warm and comforting smile, "I'm a frequent flyer so it's a lot less expensive."

"We talked about this, remember? How I don't like it when you pay for everything." Annie said quietly as she tapped her pen on her notes, "It bothers me."

"Then we can split the much more inexpensive cost of round trip tickets in half." Finnick offered, "I know you're busy, and this is probably the last thing you want to think about, but please? Won't you at least think about it? The meet's in a month and we should have planned this sooner."

"I'll think about it." She said curtly.

"Good." Finnick said, obviously satisfied with getting the idea out there. "It's not like we'd be spending anything outside of the plane ticket and the hotel room that is a big deal-"

"I understand." Annie said softly as she cut him off with a raised hand, "Will you let me talk through it with my family and…therapist? Before you get it stuck in your head that this is going to happen please? Otherwise I won't be able to get two words in."

"Are you saying I'm stubborn?" Finnick asked amused, with an eyebrow raised and she cracked a smile in response.

12:56.

"I'm saying you're thick headed." Annie said, pinching his cheek, before reaching out to touch his hand, marveling at nearly how effortless it was to do so in comparison to how it used to be, but still so crushed with guilt because she even had a moment of hesitation because her hands were so dirty and she didn't want to have to touch her chapped fingers to his even though she knew there wasn't actually anything wrong with her hands, she just couldn't shake that constant feeling gnawing at her gut. "But incredibly sweet, though I'd like to jump into your arms and run off to the ends of the Earth, I can't go around accepting all these things without something on my conscience! People might think my affection is easy to buy."

"If there's anything that anyone should know about Annie Cresta, is that she is extremely picky. No subpar man would even dare." Finnick laughed, squeezing warmth into her always cold fingertips with a brilliant smile. "But I understand, you've got a lot of stuff to worry about this week. Talk it through with your parents and we'll figure it out. But I'll stay a beacon of hope. Omaha is really nice this time of year, especially if you're an Olympic hopeful."

"Oh shove it." Annie said flicking a bread crumb at him, causing him to erupt into laughter.

And so, Annie went home that day with a lot on her mind, not just the labs and her homework due for the next week, or the fact that exams would be coming up after spring break, or the millions of other things that tumbled around in her head, but now the fact that Finnick wanted her to accompany him to a place she had never been by using a method of travel she had never used.

But she had never gone on a vacation or a trip that involved such great distances…at least since fifth grade. Her family always had tried, but normally she just couldn't work up the nerve to stay away from everything she knew, the rituals so ingrained in her that she simply couldn't break it. But before she had successfully traveled and been away from home for days at a time. So naturally, this would be the next step, being away from her routine for five days. It would be a tall order, and Finnick would have to understand that, but she thought that maybe she would be able to do it.

So with those things in mind, she brought it up to her parents, and to her surprise they told her that they thought it was a wonderful idea for her to go to Olympic Trials with Finnick. Their answer was so enthusiastic that Annie was sure that her parents just wanted her out of the house and doing something new.

So as she finished her last few days up before the big day came, Finnick delivered to her all their flight information and any other kind of information he believed she would need. Their flight was leaving the airport at 7:30 in the morning which he had done on purpose because as he had explained to Annie an airport was an extremely hectic place, and at least if they were on an early flight the way out would be a lot less hectic getting around the airports on their connecting flights and out of the Omaha International Airport when they got there, and going over all the details with her. Being a frequent flyer, Finnick knew the airports like the back of his hand. They would get a car and drive to the hotel the athletes were all staying at so Annie could meet up with Finnick's family and Finnick could prepare with his coach before the big day arrived.

Just with him talking about it made her feel nervous, so keeping in mind all of the techniques her therapist had told her of when she packed her carry on with an extra set of clothes, her essential toiletries and medication, and getting help from her sister when she packed up all her stuff a few days before. When Annie's father pulled up to Finnick's apartment Finnick and Annie both gave his sleepy roommate Peeta a hug before her father drove them to the airport.

"You keep my daughter safe and happy." Her father said, before Finnick grasped his hands.

"On my life." He promised, and Annie sighed, tightening her grip on her bag as her dad kissed the top of her head.

"Have fun, Anniecakes." Her father told her and Annie resisted the urge to roll her eyes at her father's childish nickname for her but allowing her father the simple pleasure, before her father gave Finnick a firm but warm pat on the back, "We'll be watching from here, young man. You better make us proud!"

The way her father's eyes were alight joy made her guilty because normal kids didn't have their parents ecstatic when they went away. She was so far off normal and no matter what she did she never felt like she was getting closer. Finnick's smile was just about radiant as he promised to do just that, and Annie just tried to look pleasant and not absolutely daunted by the task ahead of her.

"I'll try." She promised, because really that was all she could promise as her father got right into his car and pulled away. To Annie's surprise Finnick grabbed her carry on back pack, slinging it over his wide shoulders with his duffle, causing her to demand, "What are you doing?"

"Getting your bag." He said with that silly-sweet smile of his.

"You do not need to get my bag. Carrying extra stuff is the last thing you want to be doing right now." She told him, and he just leaned down to kiss her.

"Of course I do. I'm your boyfriend. It's like, my job." Finnick said with a laugh, "Now come on. I know the last thing you want is to be late."

Annie just rolled her eyes, put her hand on her suitcase and began to roll it to an uncertain future.

* * *

The Panem County Airport was a small airport with just ten or so terminals that was pretty easy to navigate around, and at 6:00 in the morning there was barely anyone there. With help from Finnick to get their tickets printed out, bags checked in, and into the security line, the whole process was taking much less time then she'd imagined it to.

As soon as she got up to the line where the tired TSA agent took her boarding pass and ID Annie immediately was struck with the idea that this woman was touching her license with these latex gloves that she had probably not changed in hours and she was touching her drivers license and smearing it with the insides of a million different peoples wallets, and she started breaking out into a cold sweat because she hated when people touched her things when she wasn't comfortable with them. And then she walked woodenly over to conveyer belt and placed down her backpack on the conveyer belt that had touched ten million other people's stuff and had to walk on the floor without her shoes on to get through the scanner and her socks were getting dirt and grime from other people's shoes and bodies on them and she wasn't sure that she had packed extra socks and what was she supposed to do with these socks she couldn't just place her dirty socks back in with the rest of her clean clothes because that would contaminate the rest of her stuff and why hadn't she thought of that? Why was she so stupid? And all she could see was her infecting everyone on the plane and the plane crashing and Finnick dying and she couldn't breathe because the plane was crashing and Finnick was dying and she was rocking back on her heels desperately trying to physically keep herself from falling apart as she hugged herself, clawing her own arms as her heart pounded in her head and blood rushed in her ears and-

The hands were warm and far away, gently touching her upper arms.

"I'm here." He told her gently, before saying off to the shadow standing on the side, "It's okay ma'am. Can you back up-I know you're trying to help but you're not. My girlfriend has an anxiety disorder, and the best thing you could do is give us some space and let me talk it out with her, please."

The hands gently began rubbing comforting warmth into her skin through her fleece jacket.

"Annie, sweetheart." He was saying empathetically, "I know you're scared and don't feel good right now. But I can only help you if you let me know what's wrong."

Finnick. It was Finnick touching her and talking to her so gently. Awareness was slowly coming back to her, her breath still rattling in her chest and her stomach in knots but she could clearly see Finnick looking down at her with such love in his face as tears began to well up in her eyes and spill.

"I-I didn't pack any extra socks." She croaked, "My feet are so dirty and I…I can't put them in my bag or put on my shoes and they'll just keep getting dirtier if I don't do anything. Finnick, I can't."

"It's okay, baby." He said, brushing away her tears. "I'll go get you anything you need so you can feel comfortable. Anything. I'm your go-to guy. Just don't cry anymore, Anna-Banana."

"Don't call me that." She wheezed between a sob, causing Finnick to smile.

"There's my girl." He said, "Sit down on one of the benches and I'll run into one of those shops and get you fixed up, okay?"

6:24.

Annie sat there on the bench hands still shaking and clutching her backpack. Finnick magically appears with female running socks in his hands. To her surprise he immediately got down on his knees and took off her socks, threw them out before kissing both of the tops of her feet and putting on her new socks and tying up her shoes. He held her foot up with a bright smile,

"For you my princess."

"Finnick, you don't need to-" She tried to protest but he just shook his head.

"I hate it when you cry." He said with such conviction it surprised her. It was one of those rare moments when she was seeing a totally serious Finnick, and it was a whole new level of intensity in his features that made her heart stutter. "I would do anything for you to make you feel better, you know that right?"

"You shouldn't have to feel that way." She whispered, and Finnick shook his head.

"Of course I should. That's how a guy in love should feel." Finnick told her, shoving his hand into his pocket, pulling out his hand sanitizer, rubbing it in before reaching out to pull her up into a hug. She felt so safe in those arms and she just wanted to sink into them and fall asleep and forget all of her problems.

"I love you." She told him, and she meant it. How had she ended up with such a nice guy? He didn't deserve all the trouble she gave him, but he still loved her anyways and proved it with a kiss.

"I love you too, Annie." He told her, "Now come on. Have you eaten breakfast?"

"I did."

"Well I haven't. I'm going to grab an egg Mcmuffin."

"Oh my god, no! Are you trying to kill yourself?" Annie cried, and just watched Finnick smile like a naughty child all the way to the McDonald's line.

* * *

Airplanes were hot.

Well she was sure that not all airplanes were hot. And it was not just the normal kind of hot that Annie was used to since she lived in an average sort of New England town. She was absolutely positive it was all in her head, just like the way the walls seemed to cave in on her, or the way the world spun if she attempted to look out the window. But it was hot, and so humid that she was sure that if she tried to wring out her clothes she would get out a bucket load of sweat from everything she owned. So, she wasn't immediately sure how she felt about it because if it was so hot then certainly dehydration was a big fear as dehydration could cause dry mouth, heart palpitations, nausea and vomiting, and weakness, but just seeing Finnick's large smile at the sight of the takeoff was enough so that she would risk dehydration in order to keep him happy.

Finnick was in the middle of enthusing about all the places he was going to take her eventually because she had gotten past her airplane misadventures with flying colors as they went down the escalator. Annie's head had been pounding since the airplane, most likely because of the change in pressure. She had sat with Finnick in first class, while he had pulled down the shade on the window so she wouldn't have to look out the window and held her hand as she had clutched on for dear life while they took off because all she could see was the plane being engulfed in flames and they had effectively cuddled the whole way while Annie tried to get over the fact that they were thousands of feet from the ground and if someone fell when they hit the ground they wouldn't be recognizable and that she had to keep rechecking her bag because what if she dropped her medications. But now the headache seemed to disappear as Finnick's happiness radiated from him.

However the wave of happiness suddenly disappeared as Annie watched a sudden flash of anger light up his eyes, before being replaced with contentment at the sight of the man standing with the sign that said Odair.

"Good afternoon Mr. Odair, your parents have sent me to pick you up." The man said, reaching to grab Annie's bag which was in Finnick's hand, but Finnick rolled his eyes and brushed him off.

"Whatever. Come on, Annie." He said tersely, and Annie followed them both doubtfully before being presented with a gorgeous black Mercedes, that the driver helped to load up with their bags before they were driving.

"You're parents rented a driver?" Annie asked, and Finnick sighed.

"My parents always do. I feel competent enough to drive when I'm away." Finnick muttered, obviously his mood had soured as he looked out the window. "It's just…whatever. Hopefully they'll all get here."

"Finnick." She said, and at the sound of the name he turned only to be met by her lips. Surprised, he tensed for a moment before melting against her mouth as she stroked his face and continued to kiss him gently.

"What was that for?" He asked, and she touched her forehead to his.

"Remember how you said you would do anything to make me feel better?" She asked him, and he nodded, "Same goes for me."

"You've made me happier than ever before." He reassured her, putting an arm over her shoulders, and they drove for a few moments, before Finnick suddenly said in confusion, "I thought we were going to my house."

"Your mother and stepfather are having a late night tonight and told me to escort you to the hotel first." The driver said, and Finnick groaned.

"You're kidding. Really?" He said shaking his head in disbelief. "That's my family for you."

In response, Annie simply buried her head against his shoulder.

Hotel room was a gorgeous suite, and Finnick was promised that both of Finnick's respective families would arrive before the competition began. (And according to Finnick would both be staying on separate floors of the hotel and be sitting in different sections in the venue.)

"Wow." Annie said, impressed.

"My parents might be dicks, but we know how to travel in style." Finnick chuckled bitterly, and even though she had to check the floors and the bathrooms and make sure they were clean and then put away all of her clothes in the assorted closets and bureaus, organizing all of her pills and toiletries in the bathroom, and making sure to tap on every door way and all the pieces of furniture two times with her index and middle finger as she circled each room counter clockwise and around each landmark four times in order to get a feel for how big the rooms were and where everything was placed because it was different than her room and she didn't like that it was set up so different and if she didn't know exactly where everything was, if she woke up in the middle of the night she could trip and hurt herself.

She didn't do that. Instead she grabbed him by the shirt and kissed him, and pushed him against the wall as her head was screaming at her because she needed to do all those other things and why wasn't she doing them. He groaned, grabbing her hips and pressing her to him as they kissed furiously, and by the time she pulled away her body was flushed and her lips felt bruised and she didn't really care because Finnick had color back in his face.

"Now, please tell me what I did to deserve this. Because I'll be sure to do it all the time." Finnick chuckled as Annie pulled away, giving his chest a pat.

"You…looked like you needed it." She said with a laugh that was sort of odd.

"I did need it." Finnick said, "Thank you."

"I guess that's just kind of what girlfriends do." Annie told him and he gave a smile.

"Yeah, I guess." Finnick said, "So, let's get settled in and make dinner. After that I'm feeling in the mood for a cuddle session and whatever you want to watch on Netflix. I have to get up early for warm ups."

"How about whatever you want to watch on Netflix." Annie said, "And cuddling does sound absolutely fantastic."

And so Annie put away all of her clothes in the assorted closets and bureaus, organizing all of her pills and toiletries in the bathroom, and making sure to tap on every door way and all the pieces of furniture two times with her index and middle finger as she circled the room counter clockwise and around each landmark four times in order to get a feel for how big the rooms were and where everything was placed because it was different than her room. After that even though Finnick told her that there was a cleaning crew he wasn't sure when the last time they were there so Annie needed to clean everything so that they wouldn't have to get sick and Annie wouldn't have to go to a doctor's office or a hospital and Finnick wouldn't get ill before his race because even though she hated the doctor's office the idea of Finnick suffering on the most important days of his life was nearly heartbreaking. So she had already put directions to the nearest hospital in her phone and knew how to get there just in case and where not to put her hands or to touch so Annie mopped the floor and the areas by TV and the couch with a collapsible swiffer, making sure go around each landmark four times exactly and to tap each thing twice with her pointer and middle finger as she went around. Then she tossed the used wet towels, and then went on to dusting. She dusted all the surfaces from right to left and from down to up, making sure to replace all of the nice pictures or whatever décor she picked up to their correct location and she moved to the place she had found them so she didn't misplace them and Finnick and his family could find them. Annie made sure to go to each bathroom and give it a once over, moving from toilet to shower to bath to counter, cleaning each with the appropriate cleaners tapping on the door so she didn't forget she had been there and she made sure to wash her hands after every room she cleaned so she would slather disgusting filth all over herself and Finnick. After all of those things were done she made sure to check the expiration dates for all the things that Finnick had put in the fridge because what if Finnick got food poisoning? But everything was safe and after she was done checking and double checking everything and had begun to pace in anxiety because it was finally hitting her that she wasn't anywhere near home and what if she needed her parents and this was everything that Finnick had ever dreamed about and she just couldn't stand the thought that he didn't get everything he wanted and onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnine eight is good, seven is bad because it is odd and prime, but nine is okay because it is divisible by three she made sure that the bedding was smoothed, with sheets and covers, put away her clothes, put on the robe and grabbed her towel, and washed her hair right to left and her body from down to up because that was right and dried from down to up and brushed her teeth and flossed and used Listerine and then she washed her hands and got dressed in her pjs and-

"You're stress cleaning, sweetheart." Finnick said kissing her neck.

"Oh gee, where did you ever get that idea?" Annie scoffed bitterly, "Almost everything I do is driven from stress."

"Annie, what are you worried about?"

8:17.

"Everything." She muttered, grimacing at the time.

"In particular."

"Your races tomorrow." She admitted, "I just want you to do well. Oh God, Finnick. I just want you to make the Olympics. I believe in you I do, it's just-"

"Thank you." Finnick said, pulling her into a tight hug. "Thank you so much, Annie. Thank you for worrying about me. But don't worry. I've got four events. Four chances. And I'm going to make it."

"You better." She warned as he kissed her eyelids and her forehead.

"I will." He said, sounding determined. The competitive gleam in his eye sending shivers down her spine because of how downright sexy it was. "I'm going to go to the Olympics."

As she lay in bed that night sleepless against him, she just hoped that he was right.

* * *

Annie was sitting the stands as Mags found her way next to Annie. Obviously visibly nerve-wracked, Mags gave her a comforting squeeze of her hand as Finnick continued his warm up and his coach offered him direction below.

"He made it through prelims, dear." Mags comforted, as Annie only continued to feel her stomach roll.

"He came in fourth in prelims. He needs to come in first or second to make the cut." Annie explained, knowing that her skin was probably tinged green with the illness that was seizing her. "Where's Finnick's parents and little sisters?"

"They went to go get some fresh air." Mags said, "Maybe you should do that as well."

"No." Annie said softly, "No. I can't. I need to see him otherwise I'll have a panic attack."

"Be confident in him." Mags said, "I am."

"How?"

"Because I know how hard he's worked. And how much he loves to compete. If there's one thing I know about that boy it's that he will not lose. Not when you're watching him and rooting for him."

"I don't know about that." Annie said with a nervous laugh. "Sometimes I worry he'll lose because I am watching him. I'll jinx him or something."

"Oh now you're just being silly." Mags laughed, "You are his lucky charm."

"Ha ha, funny." Annie said before watching Finnick hope out of the pool, watching as out of the corner of her eye as teenaged girls snapped pictures of all seven feet of golden hunkiness, his thin swimmer thighs and hips highlighted by his competition suit. He pulled off his cap and goggles before nearly skipping over to the stands and Annie immediately ran down to the railing. Finnick reached up to touch her fingertips, smiling brilliantly as droplets of water slide off his jaw.

"Cheer for me loud." Finnick asked, and Annie felt her like her nerves were on fire at the sudden brush of his warm skin.

"I will." Annie told him, "Swim fast. No matter what happens, I'm proud of you. But please win."

"To get a ring on that pretty finger, I'd run a marathon after this." Finnick told her with a laugh.

"Oh go stuff it." Annie warned with a laugh. "Just go and do it so we don't have to worry about this anymore."

"Alright, alright." Finnick said, pressing his hand to his mouth before pressing a phantom of a kiss to her ring-finger. "Love you."

"Love you too." She said pulling back her hand, ignoring the girls who were glaring at her in disbelief before rejoining Mags on the stands, holding her tingling hand to her chest above her racing heart. She was just praying to anything that might hear her to help Finnick accomplish what he set out to do as Mags sat sage like beside her with a wide smile on her face.

Finnick that night was swimming the 200 backstroke, the event he had the best chance of making. As the heats went on and the moment came forward, Annie thought she was about to suffer a heart attack. But when Finnick appeared at the end of the lane, disrobing himself from his warm up and standing at the end of the lane. Mags grasped her hand, nearly breaking her fingers as the official called the competitors into the water.

Suddenly everything was silent, just Finnick pulling up on the block, the muscles upon his back rippling. Then the buzzer went off and she felt her heart drop into her stomach like a rock. In large powerful strokes Finnick pulled across the pool, neck in neck with three other swimmers. Annie was screaming, sweating, and crying tears of joy as on the last 50 Finnick pulled away from the third place swimmer and was tied with the first place.

"Go Finnick! Go Finnick!" She cried, jumping up and down. "Go Finnick!"

Finnick slammed into the wall.

1:53.87.

He had won.

Annie's legs collapsed and she sobbed in complete relief as the stands went absolutely crazy and Finnick ripped off his swim cap and goggles and released a victory roar. And through Annie's disjointed thinking she couldn't form any coherent thoughts except what she knew to be true beyond a shadow of a doubt which was Finnick had come in first place.

"He's done it! He's done it Annie!" Mags said, tears rolling down her cheeks. "He's made the Olympics."

"He did it." Annie said, watching as Finnick blew her a kiss and she sobbed. "You did it!"

Annie swore, that beneath the water that Finnick was crying too.

* * *

First in the 200 backstroke, second in the 100 breastroke, second in the 200 IM, and first in the 400 IM.

After Annie watched him pull his wobbly body from the pool and he got back behind the stands, he just about collapsed and she ran to him and threw her arms around him. They hit the wall, slid down, and melted together on the floor. The cheers from the stands and the pool was gone, no scent of chlorine choked her, and they just sat there completely indivisible.

"I did it, Annie." He sobbed in her ears, and she didn't care if she was getting completely soaked and his pulse was thumping like a drum in his neck. Annie was there together with Finnick, and he was one step closer to his dream.

"I'm so proud of you." She whispered as she peppered his blisteringly hot skin with kisses. "Oh Finnick I'm so happy."

"Me too." He laughed, pressing his forehead to hers. "I heard you when I was swimming."

"Oh you did not hear me." Annie chuckled, "There was like a thousand people cheering. You did not hear me."

"I'm like a penguin. I can hear my lady's call."

"I'm pretty sure that's not how penguins work, Finnick." Annie told him with an eye roll.

"Are you suddenly a penguin scientist on top of a rocket scientist now?" Finnick asked with a giddy laugh.

"Oh shut up." She said, giving him a pat on the chest. "Did you even cool down?"

"No." Finnick said wickedly. "Fuck cool down. I just wanted to hold my woman in my arms."

"Nope. You need to go cool down. Otherwise the plane ride is going to be one hell of a pain."

"Always responsible." Finnick said with a chuckle, giving Annie a sweet kiss that was salty and raw and full of love. "Alright, I'll go do my cool down like a good boy."

Annie helped Finnick up, putting his arm around her shoulders so that she could help him back to the pool on his shaking legs.

"Finnick, congratulations."

"Thanks, baby." Finnick said, giving her an extra squeeze.

They both smiled and for a moment, that smile was all that mattered at all as they walked back into the light and the cheers of a nation that was ready for a world with Finnick Odair as a champion.


	13. Inauspicious Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "However, having lived in a world so out of her control for most of her life, she just wanted to be able to be in command of herself." A young woman living and struggling with OCD, falls in love with a young man chasing his dreams. But life isn't as simple as just that. Modern AU Odesta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day weekend! I hope you all ate some delicious chocolate, I know I did.
> 
> I'm so sorry about this late update, which I take responsibility for by saying it was life circumstances and stuff. Two more chapters remaining in Little Stars, which I'm sad about because I love this universe. But all good things do come to an end, unfortunately. Those chapters include the Olympics as well as a sort of epilogue. Also an explanation of course for the mystery.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed reading and if you would like feel free to leave a review or an alert or fav to let me know you care! In any case, have a good rest of your weekend and a good President's day for anyone in the USA! ~OMGitsgreen

Annie firmly held to the belief that the internet was a disease. She would grant to the inventors that it certainly was a helpful bacterium sometimes, like the millions of foreign bacterium that lived in the gut of the average human. However there was also the staphylococcus of the internet like Webmd, and also the Yersinia pestis, or more commonly known as the black plague.

And by the black plague, Annie was referring to social media. Tumblr in its glorious diseased state hacked up before her eyes pages dedicated with gifs of her boyfriend getting out of the pool and pulling his cap off. As twitter which had just about dropped dead when Finnick's Gatorade advertisement went out, only to be revived to link and exclaimed, "Here goes there a man whom I would like to have bodily relationships with!" Even Buzzfeed wasn't safe for her scrolling pleasure, as just as soon as his interview with Huffington post describing his general work out schedule and life went viral Buzzfeed came up with a "Eleven Reasons Why Finnick Odair Gives Us Life" with the number one being that his abs were apparently sculpted by God himself.

Now to Annie that was really all fine and dandy. She knew what everyone thought of her boyfriend, really. And Annie also thought he was extremely attractive, glad to have bodily relations with him, and was pretty sure that if there was a God he had spent extra attention on Finnick's most dreamy features. However there was something extremely irksome about someone she loved having their body plastered on the internet and analyzed and scrutinized. If Annie could she would have deleted it all, but Annie had no such power. All she could do was be thankful that Finnick seemingly had a good grip on reality and didn't let it go to his head. Because he wished to finish his collegiate swimming career, he hadn't taken the sponsorships that companies had literally been throwing his way and would wait on those until after graduation. Most of his information was already private so there was no issues on that front, and he was just making the rounds and doing his work outs as best as he could every day. But still considering that surfing the internet had been all she had done for the entirety of her sleepless night she had had plenty of time to stew on her hatred towards the internet and its mindless millions.

8:23.

"Mm." He said, his mouth pressing against her ear. She crinkled her nose, smelling chlorine but finding a simple moment of peace in the chaos.

"Finnick. You're too warm." She moaned as he tried to wrap his arms around her and pull her close, but she pulled away and stayed firmly on her side of the bed. He didn't push her however, and instead continued to sit on the bed and rub her back.

"You're freezing. You can turn up the heat in here." He said amused and she just pulled the covers up over her head. He began to chuckle. "So…"

"So what?"

"So what were you looking at so intensely?" Finnick asked and she stayed on her side but grabbed her phone off the bedside table with shaking hands, and began to read in a weak attempt at a fake valley girl accent,

"Oh. Em. Gee. Finnick Odair is soooo fecking dreamy, heart emoji heart emoji. There is not one part of him that I don't luv! I just want to have your children and thank you! Kissing emoji. The next one says: When bae gets out of a swimming pool dripping wet and totally luscious with a gif of you and Tyra Banks."

Finnick looked at the picture of the girls on tumblr over her shoulder and made a gagging noise,

"That's gross and illegal. These girls are like fifteen."

"I suppose you should just go procreate with her. It's seemingly what she wants." Annie said as she let her phone drop from her fingertips and gently thump on the floor, "In my opinion though, teenagers are like wine, hopefully they get better as they mature."

"I thought you were supposed to be the pessimistic one." Finnick pointed out and Annie just sighed.

"I've had to learn to look on the funny side of things these past few weeks." Annie admitted before closing her eyes because her head was killing her, "Otherwise I'd go even crazier. I hate the things they say about you, granted I know they probably mean well and are probably nice and well-adjusted in real life, it's just that they talk about you like you're some kind of…of…I don't even know. They don't treat you like a human."

"How adult of you to say." Finnick pointed out before giving her temple a kiss. "Well, that is one of the reasons I am currently enamored with you. Now tell me, there has to be a certain reason why you are still in bed right now. I'd like to know why so I may be prepared at a moment's notice to run to the store and retrieve ice cream."

"No ice cream is necessary." Annie said softly as she curled up, "It's just…I wanted to sleep is all."

Annie at that very moment should have been have been well on her way through her routine though it was Sunday. She should have gotten up at 5:21, stripped her bed of the sheets, tapped her bedside table four times with her index and middle finger as each sheet and blanket and pillow case came off, before folding them and placing them in her hamper. And then she should have taken off her pajamas, starting with her shorts, then her tee shirt, followed by her underwear, each folded separately and then placed in her laundry hamper. The she would have picked up her laundry hamper, from its place at the end of the bed, turning it counter clockwise then turning it back and placing it back down. After that she would have chosen what to wear for the day, taking into consideration that that day was a grey day, before taking whatever clothes she didn't decide to wear and put them into the laundry hamper. After that Annie would go to the bathroom and comb her hair thoroughly, taking time to undo every knot, before spraying it in place to reduce flyaway hair. She would wipe down the counter to remove of her stray hair, because stray hair made her feel ill. Then she would take her electric toothbrush, squeezing out a pea sized dollop of tooth paste neatly upon her brush before pulling out her phone and starting her timer. She had to brush for at least one minute and thirty seconds, before flossing each tooth twice and rinsing with Listerine for forty-five seconds. Then Annie would wipe her toothbrush on her specific toothbrush towel, and clean the toothpaste from the tip of the tube, making sure that no toothpaste would congeal there before screwing on the cape and placing it back in its spot before washing her hands thoroughly, scrubbing with exfoliating cream, rinsing, and squirting exactly two pumps of antibacterial soap into her palms, making sure to lather for a count of ten before rubbing over all the surface of her hand, making sure to get under her nails, before rinsing off. Then she would have gone on to eat breakfast, trying to push herself by eating without disinfecting her silverware, and then started her list of other things to do for the day.

But it was 8:23 which added up to thirteen which was odd and prime and described how she felt because she was not only mathematically uneven but also odd and an integer because somehow she was whole despite the fact she constantly felt she would fracture into incomprehensible fractions and with her unfortunate brain chemistry and personal habits that in the general scheme of things were assigned to her in a genetic lottery that she had lost because of bad luck.

The previous night she had been nearly driven off the edge of her fragile sanity by a wasp that reminded her that she couldn't remember if she had clearly washed the left side of her body as well as the right and that she was hording illness that would spread to everyone around her and make them rot and she had tried to resist it all night by trying to calm herself down but eventually she had felt as if she had been drowning in sheets that had turned into a cesspit and she had to get up and go take another shower and restart her routine but she had been so tired that she had kept messing up and she had been awake doing that until four in the morning and just hadn't gone back to sleep. Insomnia was one of the frequent complementary diagnoses she had to deal with on a daily basis which was more of a symptom of her anxiety then a separate disease. But at that moment Annie just felt crushed by the clusterfuck that was her illness and that was her everything and she just didn't have the strength to get out of bed despite her overactive instincts screaming at her and it all hurt because... because-

"Annie, what is it?" Finnick asked sounding increasingly concerned.

"It's nothing. Sorry. I was just…the rabbit is all. I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night." She half-lied as she tried to smile for him. While in her head the wasps kept stinging and stinging that I'm so tired and I can't sleep, Finnick. I feel like such a nut case, and I just want to smile for you but I'm such an anxious wreck. And Finnick would leave her if she did, she saw playing out in her head again and again. "Can we…maybe go do something today?"

"Sure. Whatever you want." He said as she sat up and tried not to look at the bags by the door that reminded her that he was going to be gone-

Quiet! She screamed in her head. He'll come back! He will!

"Dinner and a movie?" She asked quietly as he reached out to pull her into an achingly warm hug, tucking her safely in his arms.

"Sounds like fun." Finnick told her, kissing her hair and wrapping his arms around her while he rested against the headboard.

"Stop holding me like a teddy bear." She whined, "You are really too warm. I'll get all sweaty."

"I'll miss the way your hair smells." He murmured, breathing in deeply. "Just like your shampoo. And how soft it is."

Annie wanted to tell him to stop it. To stop holding her so lovingly, and saying words that just made her love him more and more. There had to be a limit to how ridiculous this situation would get. After all the more important he was in scheduling her life, the harder it would be when he was gone for Olympic Training in Colorado Springs. Annie barely could handle eating a different cereal every morning, having her boyfriend gone and messing up not only her schedule but also having her worry for him taking up her time would just be awful.

"What do you…want to go see?" Annie asked, her voice sounding embarrassingly off his Finnick's lips pressed to her cheek, his breath tickling her ear.

"Hm? See what?" He nearly purred, Annie turned her face to answer him only to be met his face being nearly unbearably close. His eyes were lidded and-

8:37.

"Your eyes." She blurted out, before feeling herself go bright red.

"My eyes?" He asked with a frown, "What about them?"

"They're…they're blue today." She continued the thought she had been desperately hold onto while everything scattered in her head. "I-I mean movie. No-what movie do you want to go see?"

"Do you like them when they are blue?" Finnick asked her with a teasing smile as he leaned down and pressed sweet kisses against her lips.

"I always love the color of your eyes." Annie told him between kisses, feeling her stomach begin to flutter, "But normally they only get blue when you cry."

"I guess you're just so sexy you're bringing me close to tears." He joked and Annie resisted the urge to roll her eyes at him.

"Or maybe it's because you are wearing a blue shirt." Annie told him, and he just began to laugh and bring her into a firmer hug.

"God, I'm going to miss you." He said as he held her and Annie was the one actually close to tears. But she held on, she held back because she wanted to smile for Finnick. No matter what, she wanted to smile for him.

"Don't say that."

* * *

So Annie got up and got dressed in a blue sweater and leggings because that day was a blue day and after taking some ibuprofen and draining a cup of coffee she was functioning at a remarkably high level. Since Annie barely ever paid attention to what went on in the entertainment world, after all she was too busy with her work and her multiple other issues, she also had no idea what was out in terms of movies. Finnick was a pop culture addict, so he quickly discerned the best choice on his Iphone with the help of Siri and then they went and decided to watch it. So he chose a movie that was playing at 5:45 and booked a reservation at 7:30 which were both good times because 5:45 added up to fourteen and was divisible by two and four and 7:30 added up to ten which was divisible by two and five and maybe that would give her the chance to relax and maybe have a good night with Finnick. So she made sure they left early and got there early because she absolutely hated being late and Finnick knew that as well. So they got there at 5:25 and bought tickets and Finnick got a large popcorn and a water while Annie just had a bottle of water she had brought from home and then they settled into their seats as the movie started. It was a good movie, Annie could tell, but she also couldn't help but think how many other people had touched the arm rests and so she kept her hands on her lap and her jacket on for protection and sat there stiffly. Finnick obviously noticed her rising anxiety because he reached over to grab her hand, which was nice but then she could barely concentrate on the movie because of how his finger traced circles into her skin and how she wouldn't be able to feel that for months-

No. She wouldn't let herself think of it. She couldn't let herself think of it!

7:01.

The movie ended really before Annie had realized and comprehended that it had started at all. They put on their coats and they just left the theater when suddenly a very familiar voice called out to them,

"Finnick! Annie!"

Peeta and Katniss were walking down the street together, hands held and looking like a generally cute couple. Annie was guilty for interrupting their obvious date until Finnick smiled widely as Peeta sped up to meet Finnick and give him a bro hug. Annie decided then that if this would make Finnick happy then she was glad for their presence.

"Hey Peeta, Katniss." Finnick said slapping Peeta a high five as the bro hug ended while Katniss caught up slowly to where Peeta, Finnick, and Annie where standing.

"Hi Annie." Katniss greeted a little awkwardly, and Finnick and Peeta got into an easy conversation about sports and how Peeta was doing at his job.

"Hey, were you guys going to see a movie?" Annie asked Katniss who just sighed.

"Peeta was going on about this romcom he wanted to see…and I'm not opposed to something like that once in a while. Even if they are embarrassing and unrealistic." Katniss said as she tugged at her braid. "What about you and Finn?"

"We just finished watching a movie, and we're about to go to dinner." Annie explained, "Too bad you didn't text me, we could've turned this into a double date."

"Right…" Katniss said, her cheeks turning red as she casted her eyes to the ground. "Well, I wouldn't have wanted to impose with what you guys were doing. Especially because Finnick is leaving tomorrow."

"Yeah." Annie said, her throat feeling like it was closing around the word and she had to force it out.

"Aw, Kitty, aren't you going to miss me?" Finnick asked with a large faux-seductive smile as he put his arm around Katniss. She just glared at him in her normal expression of mixed embarrassment and incredulousness at Finnick's forwardness and flirtatious nature.

"Do not call me that. You make me sound like a cheap stripper." Katniss said hastily, ironically tensing as if her hair was standing on end. She picked his fingers off her shoulder with exaggerated disgust and then stomping over to Peeta's side and grabbing onto his coat. "For God's sake, Annie I don't know how you put up with him."

"I lock him in the house sometimes." She offered with an apologetic smile, "Sorry he gets so unruly."

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here!" Finnick whined, "You'll hurt my feelings."

"It's your ego that needs to be taken down a few pegs." Katniss said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"That is also true." Peeta agreed as he shared a smile with Katniss and Annie while Finnick pouted and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Fine!" He said dramatically, "If you don't want me to skype you then I won't."

"We'll skype you, we'll skype you. Damn, you are a needy thirteen year old girl in an oversized body, you know that? Just…don't work too hard at the training center." Katniss said before amending that statement with, "You'll make Annie worry unnecessarily."

"Also, do let me know how you're doing and don't just forget to text me sometimes, alright?" Peeta said, "And when you get the chance text me your address so I can send cookies and stuff."

Finnick immediately grabbed both of them and pulled them into a hug, causing Katniss to squawk in surprise and Peeta to laugh and pat his back.

"Aw man, I'm really going to miss you guys! You two are awesome friends!"

"You're crushing me!" Katniss wheezed and then Finnick let go. Peeta gave Finnick one more affectionate hug, while Katniss gave him a soft punch in the arm and a smile before they walked into the theater and left Annie and Finnick outside.

"It's nice that they're going out now." Finnick said, as he took Annie's hand.

"I know. Katniss can be a bit prickly sometimes and a little awkward, but she means well. Peeta really balances her out perfectly. And I can tell she really likes him." Annie told Finnick who just smiled mischievously.

"Peeta has it bad for her. Seriously. Even mention her name and he goes all weak at the knees. He plans their dates about three weeks in advance and always gets so stressed out that he stress-bakes. Before Valentine's Day last year he made five different flavors of pies and cream puffs when he was trying to figure out what to do. Which was like hella awesome for me but still it was a lot, even for Peeta standards."

"Peeta used to call me to ask me to approve what they were doing." Annie said before laughing, "He has a lot more confidence now though, which is good. Peeta's such a sweet guy and a really good friend."

"Since when were you and Peeta such good friends?" Finnick asked sounding oddly concerned and she blinked.

"We've always been good friends. Since you introduced us." Annie explained, "We would always eat lunch around the same time and I helped him with his homework sometimes."

"Really." Finnick said somewhat flatly before Annie leaned against his arm and interwove their fingers.

"Don't be jealous."

"I just…it's not that." He brushed her off before giving a sigh. "Fine, it is like that. I'll miss hanging out with you and doing stuff like going to lunch and to know everyone else will be able to hang out with you like normal unlike me just kinda puts me down a little."

"Yeah." Annie said awkwardly before changing the subject, "Let's get dinner. I'm hungry."

They walked to the restaurant two blocks away from the movie theater hand in hand and arrived at 7:20 because Annie hated being late and 7:20 was still a good number even though it added up to nine which was fine because nine was divisible by three. Finnick brought them to his favorite sushi bar, the one whose food Finnick had been slowly introducing to her over the year so they could both eat sushi when Finnick was in the mood. Annie's therapist had told her that becoming accustomed to new foods was an especially good exercise in broadening her boundaries so Annie had been taking the task of new food very seriously (though she doubted she could ever get to the level of eating raw fish like Finnick did, but her therapist told her that was a perfectly normal inhibition that even normal people had). So Finnick ordered a sashimi boat while Annie got a California roll and miso soup, which she was okay with because the chopsticks were disposable and she had eaten from the restaurant before and had never gotten sick, and they spoke about everything other then what was going to happen the next morning. And whenever Finnick tried to bring it up, Annie always tried to change the topic. Eventually he dropped the topic as dessert came around however Annie did know it was only a matter of time. Eventually they finished dinner and began to walk out of the restaurant and down the street in silence, and as if Finnick couldn't take it anymore he demanded,

"Why are you avoiding me?"

"What?" Annie asked him confused.

"Ever since this morning, you've been so distant! I get it…you…your mad at me for going away. Just, talk to me about this! I can't leave with us like this!"

"I'm not mad!" She cried, "I'm not!

"Then what is it, Annie?" Finnick demanded reaching out to grab her hand, "Tell me!"

"Don't-" She said yanking back her hand because she didn't want him to touch her at that moment, however the force of her jerk and the crack in the sidewalk caused her to trip back and fall over the curb. She yelped before suddenly she was down and pain spiked up her leg before a dull ache like a heartbeat settled into her foot as she pulled off her flat to get a look at the damage because if it was bad then her mother and father would have to take her to the hospital which was cost them money and she would be so guilty for doing something so stupid-!

"Annie, are you okay?" He asked immediately and she was trying not to cry desperately because was just screwing everything up. All of it!

"My ankle hurts." She said sharply rubbing her now bruising foot. She inspected the swelling, and checked and though she was imagining it turning black and falling off again and again as icy panic settled into her veins, it really did look fine. First things first she had to adjust her plans for the evening because she now had to decide if she would first ice for fifteen minutes exactly and then onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnine eight is good, seven is bad because it is odd and prime, but nine is okay because it is divisible by three, she would go home and then she would make the bed, with her sheets and covers, put away her clothes, put on her robe and grab her towel, she would wash her hair right to left and her body from down to up because that was right and dried from down to up and brush her teeth and floss and use Listerine and then she would wash her hands and get dressed in her pjs or if she would go home and then she would make the bed, with her sheets and covers, put away her clothes, put on her robe and grab her towel, she would wash her hair right to left and her body from down to up because that was right and dried from down to up and brush her teeth and floss and use Listerine and then she would wash her hands and get dressed in her pjs and ice for exactly fifteen minutes afterwards and then take a break for fifteen minutes and ice again for fifteen minutes and she was so caught up in her own thoughts that she barely registered the fact that Finnick was getting down on the pavement beside her.

"Come on." He said bending down and offering his hand yet again. "Let's get you back to the car."

"I can walk!" Annie snapped at him angrily as she tried to get up, finding she could put weight on her very tender ankle as she began to limp away until she had put some distance between them, so she could compose herself and lean against a bench for support. "It doesn't matter if you are here or not, I can take care of myself! I just…I have to go home and ice my ankle."

For a moment Finnick just stood there frozen, before walking in front of her, getting down on one knee and offering his back. He kept facing forward, but she could see the determination in the way he squared his shoulders.

"Stop being stubborn." He simply chastised her.

Knowing attempting to resist would be fighting a losing battle Annie immediately got on his back, and he began to carry her. For a few moments she didn't speak before finally she rested against his jacket. It was the clean scent of the laundry detergent and his shaving cream, the softness of his hair that she tried to soak in. Those little things that would be robbed from her. It didn't matter that her ankle was killing her and part of her brain was on fire because what if she had broken something or torn something and how was she meant to stand and she couldn't do lab work with her ankle like that and she couldn't miss her lab and onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnine eight is good, seven is bad because it is odd and prime, but nine is okay because it is divisible by three but he was there, with her, and thinking that by tomorrow she would be alone it just made her throat constrict and her tears well up. Finnick obviously sensing her internal despair began to speak once again,

"I've always been making you worry so much and relied on you for help and support, so I wish you'd let me worry about you once in a while. I might be a bit flaky sometimes and forgetful, but I'm going to stay by your side even if I'm not here…you know, physically or whatever. I'm going to try hard, and I know you are going to try hard, and we'll both work at this together like we have since you first let me in. So just…let me in again."

She was so stupid. Annie hadn't meant for any of this to happen. And if lying about her feelings were going to make Finnick hurt more, then what was even the point? Suddenly as if that realization triggered her, Annie couldn't do it anymore, ugly sobs wrenched themselves from her throat as she pressed her face against his back and fisted her hands in shirt.

"I'm so bitter! I'm so bitter!" Annie sobbed, "I just…I wanted to send you off with a smile so you wouldn't worry but I…I'm going to miss you so much! I know you have to leave! This is everything you've ever wanted and it's so important for you! But I…I don't want you to go! Goddamnit Finn, I don't want you to leave! I'm just so bitter and fucked up and selfish and my ankle is killing me and I haven't slept in like three days because I've been so fucking anxious and I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry."

"I'll come home, Annie." Finnick promised her as she continued to cry until his jacket was wet with her tears, "I'll always come home to you. That's a promise that I'm always going to keep."

"Don't make stupid promises." Annie wheezed between her hiccups.

"It's definitely not a stupid promise." Finnick told her with a chuckle, before he said, "You see the sky and the stars, Annie? It's the same sky and stars in Colorado. I know this is like the cheesiest thing on the planet, but we will still be under the same sky. And we live in the 21st century, so we have skype too, and if you are still lonely after that I'll even write you love letters or something. We'll make it work like we always have, so just keep working hard. And I'll keep working hard. And then before you realize we will be together again."

"I'm sorry I'm so needy."

"You are definitely not alone in this. I've been crying too. Mostly in the car after swim practice." He said with a shy laugh of his own, "This morning you caught me red handed. I was surprised you noticed."

"Your eyes were so blue." She told him with a sniff. "They do only get like that if you've been crying."

"I get choked up sometimes, when I think about how much I'll miss you. But this is something I have to do."

"I know. I love you."

"Love you too."

So for that moment, Annie didn't need anything fancy. She would just be happy with keeping him by her side, no matter how brief the time they spent together was.

* * *

"You have all of your swim suits, right? And your laptop?" Annie asked as Finnick stood before the baggage check. He had just finished getting his luggage checked and Mags was waiting in the car after giving him her own, heartfelt goodbye. However Annie was sure there was something she was missing, something she hadn't said or done and it was driving her crazy but she was helpless. Annie couldn't fix or change anything at that moment and she had to let Finnick go because his flight was at 10:30 and it was 9:31 and he had to get through airport security.

"Yeah. I have everything, Annie." Finnick told her and she just bit her lip hard.

"And…and if those hyperbaric chambers and it hurts your head, don't use them! You're already at an altitude so your red blood count will already go up and if they tell you to anyways I'll-I'll beat them up!" Annie told him causing Finnick to smile widely at her.

"I know, Annie." Finnick said as he placed down his carry on for a moment to reach out and hug her. "I'll be careful, I promise."

"I'll miss you." Annie told him, clinging onto him as he leaned down to give her a sweet kiss.

"I'll miss you too, Annie. I've got to go."

"I know." Annie said, letting him go before saying, "Love you. Work hard, alright?"

"Love you too. I'll call when I get there, alright?"

"Okay."

"Bye, Annie." He said before leaving her to go into security.

When he turned around to wave, this time Annie had a smile on her face and he had tears in his eyes.


End file.
